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Chapter 41 - Her Déjà Vu

The week leading up to my birthday was hectic for everyone in the manor except for me and Noah. I spent my time leisurely reading or playing with him while the staff and my parents organized the banquet and ball that would happen that day. If it were any other birthday then I would insist that my parents not work so hard at organizing it, but since it's my coming of age celebration I can't do that.

When someone in a noble house turns sixteen it's expected that a ball be thrown in their honor and guests from everywhere will attend. The higher your status in the court the more lavish the ball is expected to be. If your family didn't throw you a ball that's essentially a statement declaring you aren't officially recognized as a noble of their House. You'd be ostracized and mocked until you disappeared into obscurity. If not for losing Noah and maybe my mother I wouldn't mind that so much.

I requested they invite Venna but I couldn't think of anyone else I'd prefer to have them contact. My father mentioned my cousin from my mother's side, Florence Brighton, would be coming. She turned 15 last year but we've never spoken more than a few words to each other. My parents generally kept me out of the public eye unless absolutely necessary before I turned ten. After that… Well the only time was at my Magi Circle Ceremony.

This experience would be a first for me and my father said I should try to get to know some people. Hopefully that doesn't mean it will be constant subtle jabs at the status of everyone around them. I would, of course, be the focus of most negative rumors and gossip. I guess I should consider myself lucky that I don't care.

At least with this ball my gown actually fit, no one is banned from seeing me, and my mother is actually speaking to me.

My favorite part of preparing so far is when Noah said I was really pretty. And strong, he likes to brag about how strong and cool I am.

When my gown, hair, makeup, and jewelry were all finished my mother stepped towards me from my door.

"Mari, you are so beautiful. I can't believe how much you've grown and how fine of a person you've turned out to be. Despite all the flaws of your parents you've managed to become such an amazing woman. It's hard to see you become an adult when I realize everything that I…"

She was crying and her makeup was going to run. It hasn't been long since I've stepped out of that nightmare but slowly my relationship with my mother has been improving. I might not be able to accept everything that was ignored in the past but I know that I care what this person thinks of me now. There's a new warmth that's slowly growing and I'm almost a little sad that I had so little time to know about it.

"Mother don't cry. Someday I'll be able to look at the things you did for me beyond that past. We have time to make things right now and I… I'm starting to believe in you."

I wiped away a tear and then hesitantly gave her a hug. I hadn't initiated much physical contact with her, and this is still uncomfortable, but it's something I can do now.

"Thank you Mari, thank you so much. I know we won't have as much time together but I'll try harder. I won't ask you to forgive me, I'll just try harder to be better."

"Thank you… mom."

Maybe my actions weren't the best choice as mother had to be escorted back to her room to have her makeup fixed. I'm still glad I decided to do this though.

Standing outside my door waiting for me was Rebecca. She was wearing the goofiest grin on her face and she looked like she was having trouble standing still.

"What's got you so excited? I hope you're not that happy just because I made my mother cry."

"Oh, no m'lady. I'm just a little nervous about the ball. I think you'll be a shining star tonight."

"I'm not exactly happy with getting a lot of people's attention. I'd prefer a quiet venue with just a few people than something this extravagant if I had a choice."

She's bursting with energy and there's a hint of mischief in her eyes. I hope she didn't plan anything. I really hope that if she did it wasn't something planned with my father.

She still followed behind me as I walked toward the entrance of the ballroom. When I turned the corner of the hallway though I paused in my steps.

There, waiting for me, was a sight that was incredibly nostalgic but still different than the past. Someone standing there anxiously shifting from foot to foot while their head was down.

Her silver hair appeared more radiant than the first time she stood for me in a similar place. There was a blush on the soft contours of her cheeks, and her pursed lips were a beautiful shade of glossy pink. I could see a light touch of makeup on her features that accentuated her cheekbones and delicately curved jawline. There was still a trace of softness in her features despite the strength that her body exudes and her almost imposing height of 185 cm.

Her eyes when she looked up… The beautiful shades of green with the nearly glowing flecks of gold seemed to shine only for me. The corners wrinkled a bit as her lips curled into a smile when she recognized me. They were so captivating that I might have ignored the rest of her.

But that was an impossibility as well. The over the shoulder dress that she chose was a deep emerald green with silver, gold, and violet threading sewn throughout. The design complimented my own in a way that seemed incredibly deliberate with the strap going over the opposite shoulder that my own was. Her green gown sewn with violet flowers that had strong silver coloring, while my silver gown had violet flowers that were dominated by deep purple hues.

The way the gown hugged her body though… I had to turn away and I knew I was blushing at this point. I would have to be an idiot to deny how I felt about Venna now. Was I attracted to women like the romance stories talked about men? I had never heard of it before but at this point I can't deny how similar I feel to those descriptions. And I was a bit embarrassed about only realizing this feeling now.

Thinking about how similar yet opposing our dresses looked brought my mind back to reality though. Had someone planned this?

"Rebecca… Did you know about this?"

She had a grin on her face that screamed 'I certainly did!'

"Yes, m'lady."

At least she knew how to reply calmly.

"And who helped you plan this?"

"Just your mother."

"My father didn't know?"

"He didn't, m'lady."

My questioning of Rebecca was interrupted by the one person I really was trying very hard not to look at for too long.

"Rebecca, Mari, I'm going to get upset if you keep ignoring my presence here."

"I'm sorry Venna, I just… didn't know you'd be my escort again."

"How could I pass this up? Thank you very much for bringing her here Rebecca, I'll make sure to protect your Lady from now on."

"Of course Lady Rhyvenna."

She is so sly and I'm having so much trouble focusing now. So much so that I missed when she held her arm out in the gesture of escort.

"Are you okay?"

The moment she said that I was struck by an intense feeling of déjà vu. This also managed to pull me out of my stupor yet again. I think maybe meeting Venna was a magical moment for me. A moment that brought change.

With that thought I finally managed to pull the shattered pieces of my self-control back together.

"Of course, Venna. I was just thinking that I had missed you these past few months."

"Well, we'll be able to see each other a bit more frequently when you attend the Academy. I failed my Tower exam again."

She had a smirk on her face, as if she expected something like this to happen. Did she actually fail or did she do something after finding out about my results? And just how long have Rebecca and Venna been in contact? I'm actually a little jealous that Rebecca was aware of things that I wasn't.

"Are you going to take my arm because it's really starting to get tiring holding this out there."

"I'm sorry Venna."

I placed my hand firmly in hers and she led me into the ballroom.

Everything was similar to how it was with my Ceremony except there was only two tables at the front, my family's and the Marquis of Brighton's. Some of the decorations had changed colors and the gifts that were offered at each table were different. Otherwise there was very little change.

That was just the decorations though. This time my family was waiting patiently for me and watched me arrive. There was no indifference in their eyes, and no effort was made to dismiss my presence.

Though I can't accept any feelings of kindness from my father I'm willing to recognize that he is changing how we interact, especially publicly. The more favor he shows me to others the less likely my transition into society will be rough.

Venna gave me a nod before breaking away to take a seat at one of the closer tables. Since her parents aren't here as dignitaries she will be treated like any other guest tonight. The fact that she's my escort means she'll be treated a bit differently, but it's still not the same as before.

I'm a lot sadder about losing the feeling of her hand cradling my own in its warmth than I was last time.

I took my seat between mother and father and they both made sure I was comfortable before my father began to rise. Tapping his wineglass with a spoon to draw everyone's attention, he waited for the hush to fall across the crowd.

"Tonight, unlike in the past, the Arkesh Dukedom celebrates the birth of my daughter. We welcome everyone here to celebrate with us and to give our Young Princess the opportunity to show her radiance among her peers. Though she is an adult she is still young and inexperienced, as such we will always hold a hand out in support and leave a door open in shelter."

These words were a tacit statement about my strength within the family. It's not often that the head of a house speaks openly about supporting a daughter, especially not a firstborn. He also made no mention of that title and even alluded to the fact that his previous treatment of me wasn't favorable. He's clearly drawing a line.

With my father taking his seat, the banquet began. I wasn't restricted on how much I could eat but I wasn't exactly thrilled to be eating either. My mother kept glancing my way to make sure I was though so I couldn't just pretend.

When the meal was finished everyone began mingling amongst each other. I waited patiently as Venna made her way over to act as my escort again.

This time the people who approached me didn't dare to insult me too openly. There were a few very subtle implications about my birth, but nothing that should be taken as an offense in this setting. When they do try it's almost cute. I've thought worse things about myself in my mind, they can't even compare.

Venna's expression would darken whenever she caught someone attempting to slide a snide remark in. Eventually the people approaching me noticed that she didn't take kindly to the masked insults, so they began to avoid even talking to me beyond a polite greeting. Most of them knew who Venna was and as such they were trying to ingratiate themselves with her. They had no idea that the more they ignored me, the less she would pay attention to them.

When the music for the first dance started up Venna once again gave me a bow and asked me for a dance. It was strange the first time I saw her bow in a dress and this time was no different. The bow only made her more elegant though.

She led me to the dance floor and pulled me in after I accepted her hand. I was only 172 cm so the height difference had me perfectly fitting into her arms. I gazed up at her side profile and felt myself blushing with the hope that she might pull me closer. The same warmth I felt last time and that gentle smell of the forest was so much more overwhelming now.

The dance couldn't last forever though, eventually I was led back to the sides to continue socializing.

It was at this point that I was approached by a boy of our age that I hadn't met before. I knew who he was though. The Young Master of the Marquisate of Falden on the eastern border. His family is another politically neutral one with close ties to my grandfather. My mother says they're good people and that she would have married into their family had she not fallen in love with father.

"Corin Falden greets the Young Princess of Arkesh. It's a pleasure to speak with you."

He gave a polite bow between equals. He's acting familiar but not arrogantly so I'll give him points for that. There aren't many men who approach me and most of them either dash off after a rushed greeting or simply ogle me before giving up after thinking about who I am.

"I greet the Young Master of the Marquisate of Falden. We've not spoken in the past but it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"I've actually come to request a dance now that it wouldn't be inappropriate of me since you've come of age. I have no motives other than to enjoy a moment at this celebration."

I don't sense any bad intentions from him but Venna immediately started clenching the fist at her side. She really should work on controlling her expressions and gestures in public. I'm incredibly happy to see her protective of me though.

Sadly this isn't something I can turn down. His rank is almost equivalent to mine, being one of only three Marquisates protecting the border of Lestryal. Since he doesn't seem to have any ill intentions I don't think there will be any harm in accepting.

"I thank the Young Master Falden and humbly accept your invitation to a dance."

With that I was once again led to the dance floor.