(Titus's (Ferdiad's) POV)
There were two kingdoms in the Ulster Cycle – the Ulster Kingdom, where Cu Chulainn hailed from, and the Connacht Kingdom, ruled by Queen Medb, which happened to be my birthplace, too.
Let's delve into Ulster first. A peculiar curse plagued its people, rendering the men feeble whenever the kingdom faced invasion. However, Cu Chulainn, born in a fairy mound rather than within Ulster itself, remained untouched by this curse. This unique advantage allowed him to carve out a brilliant war record during the battles.
Turning our attention to Connacht, it was under the rule of Queen Medb, a formidable figure in a lineage of warlike ruling queens. She was the type who detested conceding defeat and, driven by this mindset, marched her forces after a series of events unfolded around her. Her irrational invasion was spurred by the sole desire to seize Donn Cuailnge, Ulster's golden bull, with the intention of outshining her husband in a comparison contest.
And here I found myself, now in Connacht.
I sat in the pub, savoring the taste of roasted potatoes when an imposing figure approached my table.
"Hey, newbie. I heard you trained with Setanta, right? How's he doing?" The man, Fergus mac Róich, Cu Chulainn's foster father and one of Queen Medb's lovers, inquired. Despite his sturdy build, Fergus had an unconventional style, going about barefoot and shirtless but clad in pants. Purple hair adorned his head, and three scars marked his chest.
Originally hailing from Ulster, Fergus had forsaken his allegiance to them after the King of Ulster cruelly took the lives of his sons. Betraying his homeland, he sought refuge in Connacht, becoming Queen Medb's lover. Currently, he was engaged in a fierce struggle against Ulster, aiming to corner the King. However, his fate was sealed, destined to fall victim to an assassination plot fueled by King Ailill's jealousy, Medb's husband.
Yet, my attention fixated on the spiral sword in Fergus's hands – the Caladbolg. IYup, the same demonic sword featured in the FGO game. Interestingly, a prototype version had also been wielded by EMIYA Archer as an arrow.
'I have to take it,' I silently resolved, making a mental note to abscond with the sword after Fergus's inevitable death.
To the casual observer, it might appear as an ordinary powerful sword, but I harbored a distinct purpose for it, a purpose that extended beyond its apparent might.
"Yeah, he was great. He bested me and even managed to acquire Gae Bolg from Scathach," I responded.
Fergus visibly shuddered at the mention of Scathach. "Oh boy, I get shivers whenever I hear the name of that woman. It must be scary having been taught by her."
Not many might be aware, but Fergus was indeed trained by Scathach, at least in Nasuverse lore. My lack of surprise stemmed from the fact that I already knew about Fergus's connection with Scathach, likely from Scathach herself. Fergus was among the majority of 90% of students who didn't run away from Scathach's exceptionally harsh training. While a part of me yearned to retort, I couldn't deny the validity of his statement.
"Yeah," I replied, contemplating the shared sentiment. If not for my Scathach simp tendencies and Cu's demigod status, we would have likely joined the ranks of those who fled her formidable training.
"But sorry to say this, I'm gonna take Setanta's head. You know, he's in my way. I only want the King of Ulster's head and nothing else," Fergus said, a hint of apology in his expression.
A sudden surge of aggression tempted me to leap and dismantle him, but I understood the depth of his motivation. The brutal murder of his sons right before his eyes justified his thirst for revenge. Moreover, considering Cu was his foster son, I empathized with the difficulty of his position.
"I know. It's all about warrior's pride. He's all yours if you can take him, that is," I smirked, subtly reminding Fergus of Cu's formidable identity. Cu Chulainn, a demi-god wielding Gae Bolg, stood as the only invincible force on these isles, excluding me, of course. I had kept the secrets of my strength concealed from everyone.
"Haha! Yeah, a demi-god has their perks," Fergus chuckled, transitioning to a different subject. "By the way, why are you avoiding Queen Medb? You should see her soon, or you'll get into a lot of trouble."
It had been a month since my arrival in this kingdom, and not once had I crossed paths with Medb. I preferred to wander the realm, fulfilling the role of a protector, resolving issues, and dealing with the occasional beast. You know, the typical duties of a knight. Medb had extended invitations for a meeting, but I never honored them. Instead, she dispatched some knights after me, and I, in turn, dispatched them, sending their heads back to Medb. Surprisingly, the pursuit ceased after that.
The reason? I was cautious about altering the course of history. Cu was already wreaking havoc on Medb's forces, and my intervention would only complicate matters. It simply wasn't the opportune time for me to confront Cu.
"I have my reasons," I asserted.
"Well, you should see her at least once. Man, she gives the best heads among all the women I've had sex with," Fergus unabashedly shared his experiences with Medb.
Two of the most notorious figures in Nasuverse history, both renowned for their boundless libido, coexisting in the same era and sharing a romantic connection—just perfect.
'Yeah, bang her all you want, and you might find yourself on the receiving end of her jealous husband's wrath,' I thought, smirking. I refrained from voicing it; after all, Fergus was merely a temporary acquaintance. My true motive was to acquire his weapon.
Our conversation continued for a few more minutes before we went our separate ways. Exiting the pub, I gazed at the distant castle.
"I don't wanna go there," I voiced my thoughts aloud.
Having served under two kings, my aversion to working for them wasn't rooted in incidents involving Nero or Tamamo. It was simply a disdain for overworking myself. With a few months left before my 'death,' I aimed to savor my free time and immerse myself in Rune craft practice as much as possible.
---
It had been seven months since my arrival in Connacht, and the inevitable moment had arrived. It was time to meet Medb. Having avoided her for quite some time, I reluctantly decided to face her and receive whatever task awaited me.
"Whelp, let's get it over with," I shrugged, mustering the resolve to enter Medb's chamber.
Externally, the room exuded an appearance of regal opulence, befitting a royal. However, as soon as I stepped inside, a pungent scent of semen assaulted my nose. Ugh. I fought the urge to vomit, hastily casting a scent resistance spell on my nose to endure the discomfort. Despite the repugnant aroma, I pressed on until I stood before the throne.
Initially resembling a chair, it proved too large to be classified as such. Instead, it resembled a sizable sofa, oddly adorned with dried white stains of men. Four knights in explicit attire flanked the sides, while two men lay with minimal clothing on the sofa. In the midst of this peculiar scene lay the most influential figure in the Kingdom of Connacht – Queen Medb.
"Welcome. You have finally arrived after keeping me waiting for so long," Medb greeted.
Draped in an exquisite Irish royal ensemble of blouse and knee-length skirt, she presented a picture of beauty from a general standpoint. However, my perspective was tainted. Disgust surged within me as there seemed to be no part of her body untouched by the aftermath of intimate encounters. I had heard rumors of that pussy always dripped white magma, but witnessing it firsthand was just disgusting.
I had experienced similar scenes during my time with Nero or Tamamo, but the key difference was that I promptly cleaned up afterward. Medb's legs were literally covered in semen.
Seriously, just standing in this room made me question my sexual orientation, and I couldn't help but feel a profound sense of disgust within myself.
As for her visible vagina, I prefer not to delve into the details of that nightmare.
"Yes, I am here, my queen," I bowed respectfully in the Irish style. Despite my reservations, protocol dictated that I show due respect to her royal status.
"My, my~! At least you have some good manners," Medb chuckled. "I like it, and so I shall forgive you."
In spite of my disdain for the situation, I couldn't deny that Medb looked somewhat cute when she smiled. Her innocence radiated from her face and eyes, though I steadfastly avoided looking at the rest of her body.
"Thank you, my fair queen," I smiled, expressing gratitude.
"Oh my~! I like you even more now," Medb chuckled. However, her next request caught me off guard.
"Now drop your pants."
"Excuse me?" I replied, thoroughly confused.
"Don't you get it? Every knight has to prove his strength to me, and what better way than to test your strength through love," she explained, licking her lips while rubbing her hands together as if preparing to indulge in a delightful dessert.
I rubbed my temples, questioning the choices that had led me to this absurd moment. Killing Medb and freeing Cu from his torment crossed my mind, but the knowledge that Cu would eventually become my servant, needing strength to do so, stayed my hand. There was a strategic use for Medb in enhancing Cu's abilities, much as I loathed her.
"I'm sorry, my queen, but I can't comply. My manhood doesn't work anymore," I claimed, shedding a few crocodile tears for added effect.
"What the...?" Medb looked puzzled, and the men around her displayed a hint of sympathy. Only fellow men could truly understand men.
"Still, I want to see for myself."
As Medb reached towards my pants, I instinctively slapped her hand away. My action incited Medb's wrath, and the knights around her raised their weapons, ready for a confrontation.
"How dare you touch me so disrespectfully? Who do you think you are?!" Medb screamed, holding her red hand. I realized I may have not adjusted my strength appropriately.
"I am Ferdiad of Connacht," I smiled. "As for my disrespectful behavior, I apologize. Actually, I am under a Geis where I can't let any woman touch my private parts."
A Geis, a magical contract or curse, bound parties to the terms. My claim was a fabrication, of course. I couldn't allow just any woman to touch me.
"Hah?! Do you think I am stupid?! It is obviously a lie. Just because you are trained under that old historic bitch doesn't mean you are invincible," Medb scorned, her tone menacing.
At that moment, something within me stirred. The air in the hall grew heavy, and the wind ceased. While Medb remained oblivious, the men around sensed an impending storm.
"I apologize, my queen, but could you repeat what you just said? Who is this old historic 'bitch' you speak of?" I inquired politely, though the veins on my forehead were practically pulsating.
"That 'bitch' Scathach! She thinks she has a better body than me, and most men tend to avoid me after seeing that old hag. Seriously, if not for the waters between lands, I would have seized her territory, captured her alive, humiliated her with men, and then chopped her to pieces," Medb vented, revealing her intense animosity.
I maintained my poker face until Medb uttered those derogatory words. My smile faded, and with a stern gaze, I demanded, "Apologize right now."
I didn't want to ruin my plan for the sake of the quest but fuck the quest if I couldn't even protect the pride of my teacher.
"Apologize? Oh, did I step on your tail? What are you gonna do? Raise your weapon against your queen?!" Medb smirked, seemingly unaffected by my intense gaze.
Her confidence stemmed from the Geis that every warrior of Connacht had to sign to 'receive the queen's blessing.' I, too, had signed it—or rather, my body Ferdiad had before coming to the Land of Shadows. However, with my curse resistance, I was no longer under its effect. She remained oblivious to this, thinking I couldn't attack her or her people. It was how she controlled the men around her.
Additionally, she perceived me as feeble, given my innocent face and the loose, dirty-looking clothing that covered most of my body. Unlike many Celts who roamed shirtless, I opted for a more covered appearance, making myself seem unapproachable.
"Apologize now, or the consequences will be far worse than death," I declared, my tone carrying a weight of seriousness.
With those words, a knight around Medb launched an attack.
"How dare you speak to the queen in such a manner?!" The knight screamed, swinging his sword. It seemed like he was about to cut the neck of feeble-looking me. However...
"!!!" All of them in the hall widened their eyes when I held the blade with my bare hands.
CRACK! The blade shattered into several pieces like glass. The knight wore a horrified expression, but before anyone could respond, I grabbed the knight by his mouth and lifted him in the air. He cried and struggled to break free, but fire erupted, and he was burned alive. In just a few seconds, only his bones remained, and I released them.
"Kill him!" On Medb's order, the three other knights stepped forward to attack me, but I stopped time using Force Control. In those few suspended minutes, I drew Gungnir from Inventory and swung the spear just once.
When time started moving again, all three knights split into two pieces before dropping like dolls whose strings had been cut. The red carpet on the floor became further enchanted with the bright crimson color of blood. Heh, now I can say that it was a good combination of white blood cells and red blood cells... Sorry, bad pun.
"Hey! I'm about to end you - Khuh!" The dildo boy on Medb's bed lunged at me with a dagger. Quick as a flash, I thrust Gungnir through his skull, then cranked up the Bifrost energy, turning him into a crispy critter.
"Don't kill me!" The other dude, clearly regretting his life choices, begged for mercy. Without missing a beat, I whipped out another blade, swung it so smoothly it was like nobody even noticed, and held up his head like a trophy. Blood sprayed across the room, a few droplets landing on Medb's horrified face.
"Hmm, still not perfect," I muttered, scrutinizing the slightly lopsided severed head in my hand. Disappointed in my beheading skills, it seemed I needed more practice.
Tossing the head aside, I pointed Gungnir at Medb's neck.
"Now, apologize-"
"I'm sorry! Please don't kill me... I beg of you!" Medb sobbed, tears and snot streaming down her face.
One moment, she was the mighty queen of Connacht; the next, she was a whimpering bitch. But since she said sorry, I decided to let bygones be bygones. With a smile, I restored the room to its normal vibe.
"See? Not so tough, right? It's cool. I'll let it slide this time, but if you step out of line again..."
"No, I won't! I swear!" Medb exclaimed in horror, vigorously shaking her head.
"Of course, you will. And I don't need a Geis to make you show some respect to my teacher. You better never talk shit about her again, or I'll put on a performance for you that's even more entertaining than this one."
"No! I promise! Please, I'm begging you...!" Medb cried, tears and snot flowing freely. I started feeling a twinge of sympathy. Was I really that intimidating?
"Good," I said, offering a smile, then tapped Gungnir's hilt on the ground. In an instant, a complex array of runes left the spear, and just like that, the room was spotless. Aside from the fallen bodies, there was no trace of blood or any other substances.
"Huh?" Even Medb seemed surprised as her sticky skin reverted to its smooth state. Now that everything was clean, I breathed a sigh of relief and took a seat beside her.
I retrieved a fresh handkerchief and began wiping Medb's face gently. She seemed taken aback but relaxed, softening her posture at my warm gesture. She appeared vulnerable, tempting me to playfully 'tease' her a bit, but I quickly brushed aside the thought. Any inappropriate moves, and Scathach would undoubtedly interrogate me. I'd have no choice but to be brutally honest, and the next thing I knew, I'd be on the brink of half-dead. Not a scenario I was eager to entertain.
"You've got a cute face, but a rotten personality," I remarked with a soft smile. "You could have found a decent partner instead of indulging in all that... lust. It's a shame for someone as cute as you."
"What's wrong with loving who I want...?" Medb muttered, a blush creeping onto her cheeks.
"Sigh! It's not love. Well, someone like you wouldn't understand," I sighed, giving up on the topic of love. Discussing relationships with someone who bathes in men's... fluids every day was like banging my head against a stone wall. Besides, I wasn't exactly a love guru myself.
"Anyway, you wanted me to face Cu Chulainn and kill him, right?" I steered the conversation back to the main reason for my visit.
"No, no!" Medb shook her head with a wry smile. "Lord Ferdiad need not carry out any such order!"
She began addressing me as Lord, a gesture of respect that made me feel like I was conversing with a loyal subject now.
"It's okay. I've got this!" I smirked and rose from the sofa. Bowing in my English manner, I said, "Very well, then. I hope that the next time we meet, it will be with mutual respect. And yes, one more thing..."
"Huh?" Medb looked confused as I brought my face closer, lifted her chin, and kissed her forehead.
"Try being committed to a single person for once with mutual respect instead of chasing lust or love. Maybe you'll find a good partner." I advised, pinching her cheek gently. "And take care of that cute face, my fair queen."
Leaving her stunned, I walked out of the hall and turned my attention to the guard outside the gate.
"Your queen needs help. Go and clean up the bodies."
"Y-yes."
The guard saluted me and hurried inside. My authoritative tone seemed to automatically grant me the status of a royal officer. Anyway, I stepped outside and stretched my arms under the bright sun.
"Now, it's time to face my dear friend."
===
People will think that MC is simping for Medb but it is something else.
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