Desire
Fit for next year's June
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'I know you could feel I was most of the time, staring at you. I didn't even mention to introduce myself to you as you know me, and it's not ridiculous to imagine. I came down to your hotel where you're staying for the rest of the season, I held my face up to your balcony and I know on 4 pm you always showed up on there with a cup of coffee. I smiled when my eyes meets yours. I know you got confused several times just after seeing me waving at you for literally no reason. Oh God! I imagine how you go back to your room and think about me, Just a crazy dumbass I'd been!'
Somehow he knows the words are still hunting with its flashback between his mind and heart battling together. Battling to find a final result. Maybe he flies back from there, it wasn't even a normal trouble for him either. Neither he could hide himself from the entire feedbacks he actually hides towards his unconvinced face. He juggles to set back while hunting inside himself for himself.
Actually what he needs to do.
After World Cup's thriller determination, Scott Edwards received more glorification how he defeated West Indies and secured their path for flying to India. Not only the one reason, but also how they defeated South Africa, known as one of the strong team, by 38 runs. Not everyone's cup of tea. So it's become normal to sign over Quinton de Kock's session with Renegades. Though, Jansen couldn't play BBL for international schedule but didn't feel hesitate to fly in Australia with Edwards.
with Edwards?!
World Cup 2023,
"Scott.... Scott..."
Roelof van der Merwe following one glance with much confusions. He choosed Netherland team for World Cup last year. Though they've been knocked out for the tournament but they gained much respect and love from cricket fans and former Cricketers, which is more than enough for a new Captain, new JUNIOR captain. He has learnt a lots of things from this World Cup. So he wanted to give a little treat with lunch to his team before they fly back to Netherlands. They've heard, World's best foods are provided by Indians! They wanted to try a little. Merwe, on the other hand, wanted to contribute a little with Edwards too. However, they come here and were eating. Merwe took his seat with Edwards. Middle of their meal, they heard a voice calling from far away. Merwe recognised that voice. Edwards rotates back and glanced from his shoulder to clear his doubt. Someone, he knows where pacing faster from the other direction to their place. He stands up and wiped his mouth with tissue. He looks to Merwe and curled his eyebrows, "Jansen?!" Merwe nodes as both looked at same side, from where Jansen was closing distance. When he finally did, Edwards speaks, "Maybe coming for YOU." "No. I've talked with him earlier. Why even he's coming HERE?" "Let me talk," Scott walks few feets and extends his hand for handshake, which was a normal formality from a Captain. "Hi, Mr. Marco Jan-" No sooner had he finished his full sentence, he stopped. He stopped like he never imagined what he just saw in eyes.
Wasn't it a dream!
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Still holding the sticky note in hand, thinking passionately wether he's gonna dial or not, wether he's gonna save the number for text or not. He looks outside at his own garden and smiles, how his memories took him in that day, the last day ever. How he holds his head down left and threw himself back into thinking Wether he got the moment for what he came for. Maybe he could see a change in himself even when he stares in the mirror, he didn't see himself but he imagines past days, past desire full days.
'Has he come for Merwe?' Scott Edwards thinks when his eyes got stucked down on street. He sips his coffee while spinning his head to enjoy the view coming from sky with sunshine. He again rotates on the same spot, sees no change. He lowed his coffee mug and opens his mouth to say something instead he feels, he was looking at him. When their eyes meets he moves his face aside. He didn't say anything, just came back to his room.
He couldn't forget the moment since then.
The next day, same time, same view, same MOMENT.
Again placed his eyes doward with same intension. Again glared with irritate. "Jansen," he calls and he looked up as if he didn't see Scott in his entire life. Huh! "Have you come for, Merwe?" "No- yeah. Yeah," he lied. "He's not at hotel. Maybe he got himself out for dinner." "Ouh. It's okay," he confirmed while waking past. Scott followed the his pace until he vanished.
Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow means a week indirectly when you look no change in your daily life, what would you do? Whenever, Scott comes on his balcony for showed up and enjoy some own minutes for freshness, he rotates upto a reversal moment. JANSEN! Again...
"Merwe-" "I don't come for Merwe. If you can choose your balcony for refreshments, I also can choose here- under a tree- for fresh air and oxygen. Right? Can't I?" Jansen replied straightly as Scott's mouth shuts. "Alright. Enjoy," he says the last word and stands up then pulls himself for shut the door behind him. Jansen chuckles. Few minutes later, Scott again extends his head to look down wether he's still there or not. He saw Jansen waves at him, "Hey. Still here." He made a questionable face and again comes on balcony. "Still refreshment going?" "Yup." Scott smiles on his instant reply. "Fine. Go on." He says. But he didn't stand there, he sips his coffee and comes inside again. Jansen just stares at him while HE vanished from his sight.
He smiles after throwing himself back on the memory. How charming it was! He counts each days since he comes back in Netherland. He missed the days, when he used to go outside on his balcony, with a cup of Coffee and looks Jansen standing there, under a tree, half hiding his face and looking directly at him with his black wide eyes.
He even assured since when he changed it.
He tried to remember, from when he went out there and winked directly down before winking at the sunshine... yeah, some days later, he winked down to look at Jansen before looking at the thing for what he came for. He closed his eyes for finding no answer and exhales.
How could he feel the difference?
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"Scott, wait. Don't get hurry."
Edwards spins back when he heard someone is calling AGAIN. He clenched his jaw, smoothly and crossed his arms. He saw Jansen forthcoming. "Ah! My- my answer?" Scott his looking at him as he never seen any human. He sighs, "What are you talking about?" "What!" He pretended like a fool when he wasn't. Edwards just kept his eyes and noticed, Jansen took one sticky notes and wrote something on it and tears it off. Then folded it and gently pulls it into Scott's hoodie's pocket. "What is it?" He asked. "Ahm. My number." "What? Why-" "My WhatsApp number" "- are you-" "My Gmail ID" "-giving me-" "My Facebook ID" "Shut up, Jansen!" He said it loudly. "I don't need it." Jansen sadly smiles and paces back to leave from the airport. Maybe he just wanted to look the last sight of Scott Edwards before he flies. He knows he's not gonna see him until June next year. "Wait. Why you come here? For giving me your num-" "YES. I got here for this. If you actually feel something for me, let me know. If you actually imagine me, how I showed up under your balcony, with one desire, what isn't gonna complete me, JUST LET ME KNOW, you don't know the reason. Don't know anything." He didn't tell it jokely. He was in serious mood. But Scott didn't give it back. He kept it, maybe he didn't wanna break his heart. Jansen left the place, hides his tears. He left his desire at his behind and rushed from it. Rushed with a broken heart, what he's gonna make fit while the World Cup tournament is running, fit for next year's JUNE.
....