2019
'I see Love in your Eye.'
'I see Inclination in your tone.'
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Clocks is ticking...
Time for Practice
Rushes back, left all the entire matters of today, gets in, starts the engine, drives as fast as possible, it's UK as he has to keep it in mind, who's caring it that time, have to reach before door closed, have so much tension left, still wondering wether he is going to accept a nightout.
2015 wasn't a joke, Trent Boult was the highest wicket taker on World Cup but for some dramatic endings, he couldn't be at the top. It was a Draw! No one even cared. They lost the final as well as the World Cup, against Australia; their neighbour. But individual performance is also preferable as team performance. It was a clear draw between him and Mitchell Starc. Starc won the top wicket taker only because their team WON. But it still not fair... Boult stored the Wrath, the Dander in his mind. He is coming back maybe in next World Cup. Now it's 2019 World Cup going, he somehow asks his mind wether it was temper or a beginning....
....."Australia and New Zealand are again staying together at same hotel....." juts one line from Brendon McCullum's speech on Cricket meeting earlier today is kicking him from inside. Why? Some answers reaming silent in deeper, he isn't hearing more. Why that moment throws him back and forth, why he allowed. Somehow he becomes happier after that. No one could even notice except one, Tim Southee. He tried to ask from A to Z, he couldn't have only a single letter let alone having the rest. Focusing the WC this time, has been the only priority of each Kewis. So does Boult's. Somehow, he fixed his mind to win that WC this time, somehow one unknown feeling hunts him badly, mainly at night. Maybe he remains tired after all day practicing hard, otherwise its World Cup, but one gesture he wears, isn't suiting him, he's mind is to throw it away but he's another mind is to hide it also. It wasn't impossible for him. He never be confused between two enormous things, as he choosed one- HIDE. He has sense that no one in this world could kill their own feelings for someone, maybe they ignore or they buried in the ground. What is he choosing that time. Can he still be clear, no confusion still that time?
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Let's mind in practicing- told himself. Ignoring each things comes from past things. Practiced 2 hours more today, didn't answer Coach, why. He came back to his hotel, climbing upstairs, footsteps paused when he saw Starc... "Hey you're late," Starc mocks. "Late for?" Boult asks. "Ahm. Guys were having fun, you missed it." "Oh," response in an ignored voice. Kewi's room's started from 60001, as they're staying one floor up to Aussie. Boult was heading upstairs then, and while turning to next stairs he looks down to see and find Starc his already looking at him. Why? An unknown feeling again appears in his heart, makes him beats faster and couldn't handle himself. "They told me to tell you that your dinner is in your room," Strac says, "They went out." 'I knew that already. Why would even they tell YOU?' "AHM! Thanks," Boult replies and goes up. So what then, while eating his meal, he was asking himself facing front, Was it excuse? Was it an attempt? Smiles, looks down, why he is so handsome!
[2019, most probably the worst year I faced. No victory, neither satisfactory. I know I have had enough hinding my feelings inside, half dieing, was heading to full. If we weren't secure the victory, let me at least have my soul. No I lost it, I deserve it? Might be. I don't cry now, my eyes got dry. My Love was a Draught, I had become the creviced ground. My all desires become nightmares. I wasn't going to tell him, but some forces me back to share, I did.....]
Tom Latham; the VC, stopped Boult and said to have a meet so he followed. "I know things Boult, I kept in doubt," Latham starts. "Hm like?" Boult took it normally. "May I say it directly as you know we already lost much times on gossiping about other things. Maybe we had five things and it's been the last. We even finished our lunch." "Say." "Ah! I thought you like someone from Australia. Don't say I'm wrong. You know you cannot," Latham wrapped his tone as high. Boult has paused as he didn't expect. After minutes he asks, "HOW?" Sipping his coffee, he leans down and in a warm voice he says, "I see Love in your Eye. I see Inclination in your tone, too for him. For Starc Boult. For Starc. Don't say I'm wrong." He couldn't deny...
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Could settle his eyes on Starc, practicing with Smith on nets. Some were got stranged a bit to see Boult in their practicing yard. Whatever they have their one match against each-other left. As he tries to keep his mind in practicing, couldn't; just moving back on his shoulder to see Starc one blink, two blink, three blink.... isn't enough. Knows he doesn't Love Boult back, knows he doesn't care either. He is not making any fault to look at him, watching another else after his nets, watching his beloved one. No, Boult can't be him. Only in his imagination, he created Starc to Love him, he still cannot be him. He still hasn't quarrel with anyone about one disgusting matter. Thought- not only Latham was justifying his each steps. So what? Does Boult care. He didn't ask for night out. Not even as friends, or enemies. It was more than it.
[Just two unknown soul throwing itself towards unpredictable future, sometimes become the only faith of living also. Become the impossible and unsuited gesture that time. Is anyone putting me on?
I don't have my Inclination or any temptation in my sayings. Tom knows what he knows. Is there anything left to be in my mind? Excepting each steps from me then, thought some awaiting nights still knows its importancy. Thought, I was going to be wrong again. It was like a piece of paper remained unused when someone wrote it double and bold it what was written before. Yeah maybe it's Pain, maybe it's been paid.
Yeah, I told him, for having nothing. Knows he loves Richardson. I don't know why. I never asked cause his each looks at him were my each answers. Yeah, I did choose which was- Ignore. Also I couldn't hide, thought some positive things would be happened, I was wrong as always. I let them to be a barrier, I took myself away from their world. No hesitation, no words left then. Watching Starc winning the most wicket taker in 2019 again. No it wasn't a draw that time. It was Deservation. Somehow, I didn't want to be like Richardson ever, my brother always told me to be you to see who cares. No one cares, but I'm still happy at my own. With what? With nothing. I just wanted to take his place, which wasn't mine, never...]
Notes down each lines in his diary. Capped his pen, declared once his eyes got dry but again wipes his tears.
....