I was at the café waiting for Ed. I agreed just like that. He was not going to give up and it was better to meet him and finish it off. If I am not wrong, he would find some means and trick me into meeting him. I made everything easy and saved him from going through hassles.
"Hey, sorry traffic." "Lame excuse." In return, I got a chuckle. I ushered the waiter, and he took our order. "Finally, he found you and was successful in dragging you back." Our order arrived and I started sipping my coffee. "It's been five fucking years. Unbelievable. You did a great job in hiding yourself." "I don't think so. My plan was never to get caught." He was smiling by sipping his coffee. "He would hunt you down trust me on that. He had turned into a psychopath. Would un-turn every stone and would use his every means and he would dig you out someday. I was not getting how to respond. Should I feel happy after hearing this? I should be right. You know we were engaged for three years." The soft corner that was taking place vanished just by this sentence. I was irritated for some reason. What the hell he was trying to prove? By clearing my throat. "Yeah." "I was not happy not even a day after getting engaged to him. I hate that bastard so much." We were silent sipping our drinks.
"We broke the engagement. He finally made me give up on him." I was facing Ed. Was he serious? He was obsessed. He was facing me with a smile. "I am damn serious. I am done with that bastard. He fucking made me give up on him. I hate him to the core for that. I did so much, and I couldn't win over him, at least for a day, and I hate it." Again silent. Digesting every word.
"Gray I wanted clarification. Were you aware of everything on that day until you came out of the coma?" I was shocked. How could he guess this? And again, he was in the same situation except coma. I was playing with the empty cup, pondering the question. Why now? "Does it matter?" He got his answer. By giving a knowing smile, he spoke. "You were aware of everything. I had my guess. I was in the same situation, so it's not that hard. I am not even sorry for what I pushed you into." "And I didn't ask one." "I know, I know. You know, that was my last try. I had made up after thinking so much. Trust me, on that day, I had given up on my life and didn't care about the consequences. My desperation to get him made me blind to everything. At last, I failed. Everything just puffs." A chuckle escaped from him. There was still longing on his face. Even after everything, we are such idiots. "I am trying my best to get over him, and I am successful too. For the past few years, I have been in a relationship with someone, and you know him very well." My eyes perked up. "I hate my faith sometimes. God, why the hell will I be around the guys who are fucking kind of obsessed with you?" "Now I am curious." "It's David." "What?" "Please don't tell me you had a thing for him." "No, no, I was shocked. How the hell did things end with David?" "That guy was a bloody charmer, and yeah, I gave in just to get back to Josh, and I ended up dating him. Can you believe it?" "I am shocked. He was not a dating type. I mean, he would be bored." "Yeah, we agreed to give it a try, and it's been fucking three or four still stuck with one another." "I am happy for both of you." "Me too. He is bloody eager to meet you. Meet him when you are free." "Yeah. I will." "He is fucking obsessed with you. Irrespective of my presence, he would always showcase it is kind of annoying too." "You don't have to worry." "Of course, when a psychopath is more obsessed with you, nothing compares to David. Made that bastard suffer like seriously sex deprive him. Don't fucking give in to him so easily. Do whatever it takes to make him suffer." I was smiling, not exactly getting what to say.
"After you escaped, he went through a lot. I was facing Ed, and he was staring at an empty cup. Like a lot. Your disappearance made him realize his feelings. Ironic right. But that bastard lacked in that part. In fact, from Day 1, he was into you. He never realized it, and when he did, it was too late. For the first time, when he was gone, he indulged so much in work, dating shit, and parties just to get rid of your thoughts. He was not aware of what he was doing, but he was doing it. He was keeping himself busy, and nothing was working. He was never happy. The accident, his family, and you, all mixed up, and he just didn't know. He dreaded questioning himself, and he ignored it every fucking time. His achievements, his ego, and his pride made him blind. Until that day, his world turned upside down. If my dad hadn't taken the initiative, he would end up in a mental hospital. He was sleeping around your things, oh god. Hardly, he was sleeping on the bed. He was masturbating by inhaling your scent while holding your clothes. I had caught that fucker so many times. Can you believe this psychotic behavior? In this life, you are gone, trust me. At least for a day, he didn't think to give a pause to your search. He spent a huge amount. If he didn't find you, I bet he would never stop searching for you until his last breath. Oh God, why am I saying all this? Don't get a soft corner for him, and don't give in that easily." By saying that, he gulped down the water. I couldn't help but smile. "If you are planning to escape from him, give up on that idea; it's not going to work out. He is fucking more conscious." "I am done running." "Good for you and for him too. I don't want to witness those days again. Just make him suffer more, and I will be happy." "Are you trying to hate him?" "Something like that. I am horribly failing in that too. After those many years of what I had gone through, he still made me give up. My blood is boiling from remembering everything." "You sure hate him." "Of course, he pushed me. Forget it, whatever. I am done with that bastard." "Are you sure?" "Yeah. I had enough, so no thank you. I guess that's it. I am done with what I came for. The rest is left to you. Best of luck, Gray. I will get going." In return, I nodded my head, and I was watching his retrieving figure.
This was a lot to digest. When the hell was I going to suck everything up? My mind was in a state of chaos. Who the hell was exactly wrong over here? Whose bloody mistake? Important question: why? Was it necessary, or was it inevitable?
What should I conclude from this information? Everything could be stopped before it even started, apart from what my parents had done. It could be, right? Was it necessary to push us to go through everything? Maybe at that time, my feelings were not strong enough, so he chose to leave. For making him realize I had to go through a deathbed. Wait, I don't think at that time he did realize. My disappearance was the reason. So, in person, I couldn't do anything, but my disappearance could? Why?
After every fucking thing that had happened, how could I act normal and treat every fucking thing as, okay?
The way I have stuck, neither I could get rid of everything about him nor was I able to accept and move on. Nothing is fucking fair.
It was already 7 p.m. when I made my way to the mansion.
I entered the room, and it was empty. When I was totally relieved to enjoy alone time, the door was unlocked. I sat on the bed and started scrolling my cell. I could feel his stare on my back. Now what the hell is wrong with him?
"What does Ed want now? What did he say to you?" Here we go. This bastard is not only stalking but also openly saying it aloud. I didn't utter a word. Should I give any fucking explanation to him? "Please, will you speak?" He was in front of me. "Fuck off. Leave me fucking alone." "I swear, I don't have any kind of relationship with him." "As if I give a dam about anything. Your life, do whatever fuck you want." "Don't say it like that. Please don't believe any of his words." "Stop fucking stalking me. Do you get that?" "Trust me, I have not slept with him. It's been years together. In fact, I have not slept with anyone for the past five years." I was shocked. What the hell was I going to do with this information? Five years, seriously. I was facing him. He looks concerned. I guess he threw everything away and came back to the mansion. To explain things, he is worried about Ed, and yeah, why shouldn't he? Everything fucking started and ended because of that bastard.
"I swear I didn't. If he said anything, please clarify with me. Don't jump to conclusions." "Sleeping around is your fucking habit, right? Why the hell are you giving clarification?" "It was. I swear, everything in the past. I am not doing that anymore." The more he was clarifying himself, the more I was feeling agitated. Why the hell was I feeling this way? His fucking face. He always ends up draining my energy. I couldn't see that face anymore, so I made my way to the balcony to get some fresh air. Of course, he was beside me in no time. "Talk to me. You know, talking clarifies things. Don't keep anything within you." "Don't fucking talk, and I don't want to clarify anything. Give me a fucking break from you, will you?" "Impossible." The way he said it, I really want to rip him off at this second. "What? Don't even dream. In this life, you are sealed with me forever." "Stop talking." That came out aloud. "If we didn't, how are we going to clarify things? I don't know what that bastard Ed poured into you. He swore to himself that he would turn into a nightmare. Oh yes, he is winning on that; he is fucking my nightmare." If only Ed could hear these words. I wanted to rebuke on that, but, like, what? He got something on every strike, and I fucking hate that. This. The emotion that I was carrying a few minutes ago vanished just like that. He is really something around me. Oh god, save me.
I started walking back to the room. "Hey." "What?" "We are not done." "I am so fucking done with you, at least for the day. I need a dam shower." "Oh. Can I join?" I didn't answer and started searching for my things. "It was just a leisure throw; I knew it would not end up in the basket. Better luck next time for me." "When did you start asking permission?" He was doing something on his cell, and I made my way to the bathroom.
I was checking some documents Thomas had sent. By the time the words stuck in and when I realized. I was stunned. What did he just say? I ran toward the bathroom, and it was locked, great. I could use a spare key and open the dam door. I wouldn't win a fucking lottery every day, but I held myself back.
After taking a shower, he came out, and I made my way in. My mind was jiggling. Should I make a move that is clearly a signal, right? I was so done using my hand. I was desperate, like really desperate, but I didn't want to force anything. He hates everything about me, and I don't want to add more to it. I dried myself and made my way to the bed. He was already on his side. This fucking gap. Everywhere, he avoids me like I am sought of some virus. I lay on my side and watched the sealing.
After a few minutes, I was watching his back. My hands were itching, and I was controlling them. "Did you just invite me a few minutes back, right? "Exactly how?" Of course. He was playing. I hate this fucking game so much, alluring and the next second repelling. "You kind of invited me to take a shower with you." "Really? Again, how exactly?" "I am not desperate to get it." He was facing me with a bloody smile. It's a cunning one. "Are you sure? Your body is saying something else." "You are clearly teasing me." "And your point is." "You are... forget it." "Ok." "Gray." "I am not liking anything. It's suffocating. My mind is provoking me to run away from everything. I think I can't handle it anymore, and I am done with everything. I am done with running around with these feelings, followed by unnecessary baggage of emotions. I want you to leave me alone." By saying that, he was facing the wall, and I was speechless.
When I heard the last part, I felt numb and ache.
From the day I dragged him back, I was dead worried about this. He is thinking of leaving me again. If things go this way, he may leave me forever, and I won't be lucky every time. I can't let that happen. I want him in my life. How do I make him realize what he means to me? I had so many chances, and I was successful in neglecting every fucking one. I pushed myself into this situation, and I am not getting how to change things.
I may be successful in dragging him back, but what about the coming days? How many days can I make him stay this way without his will?