When I reached college, Joshua was waiting for me in the parking lot. There were going to be so many changes I would witness, and it started with the parking lot. The incident that took place in the changing room was plastered in my head. I was trying my best not to get flustered, but his face was making me fail miserably. We greeted each other, and that smile from God always made my heart beat faster. I couldn't help myself from feeling 'shy 'about' what the bloody hell, like really. We started walking together towards class, and as we were passing, everyone's eyes were on us, more on Joshua. I was receiving death glares from them, like, seriously, give me a dam break.
Joshua's hand was itching to reach me one way or another; my glare and resistance were keeping him at bay, but whenever we were alone, I couldn't or didn't want to stop his approach; his touches were torturers. I was barely controlling myself, and at the end of the day, resisting his approaches always resulted in depriving me of my energy.
We both noticed that not only girls were giving threatening glares, but our few friends were annoyed and started showing it on their faces too. I received complaints that I was not spending enough time with them, like that they would care if I was alone. When my involvement was more with Joshua, now everything related to me mattered; they even complained. I couldn't help but take it as a joke. One thing was clear no matter what: I couldn't control Joshua entirely. Day by day, we were carving for each other's touch and also each other's company. I couldn't distance myself from him if my friends digested it soon, which would be very good for their own benefit.
We always tried our best not to display our affection and romance in front of our friends for obvious reasons, but it was proving hard when we were in class. His hand would always be mischievous, and when we finished our day, we would end up getting flustered. At night, it was painful; his sexy chats and his discussion about all the things he was planning to explore with me were making it even harder. We had not yet had 'sex' yet, but I was looking forward to it like a hungry dog. I even started masturbating by remembering Joshua.
Till now, we had our romantic sessions in empty classes, changing rooms, and even the parking lot. If I agreed to go to the beach with him, there was a high chance of losing my virginity. If I thought losing my virginity to Joshua only made my arousal even more.
These days, I am smiling more, and most of the time without reason. Mrs. Sandra was very happy to see me this way and even asked me the reason for the same when I tried to change the topic; she guessed I neither denied nor accepted. I can't imagine anyone like Joshua entering my life and daring to do as he pleases. How the hell did I even get entangled with him? I can't help but chuckle while remembering everything.
I needed time to accept Joshua's proposal. One of the reasons was my dad, and another reason was that everything was going too fast, not that I regret it a bit. I still feel like I need to take some time, but I am not feeling guilty for enjoying my romantic life with a guy like Joshua; I couldn't ask for anyone perfect other than him.
Now I need to concentrate on the biggest task, the outing planned by Joshua. I have not asked my dad's permission, but I can't deny that I was excited. Every second spending with Joshua was an amazing feeling. When the person on whom you have a crush gives you first preference and cares for you without giving dam to people who are around, that feeling is bloody awesome. Joshua was my crush at first, and when I saw him, my heart skipped a beat. I wouldn't dare approach, but when I was approached, I couldn't stop myself. The holding power that he has over me amazes me.
I had strongly decided I was going to discuss this with my dad over bloody-perfect family dinner time. After a very long time, I have made up my mind for my sake to get 'yes' from him, no back out, and not this time I need this trip with Joshua. I need to spend more time with him in front of a mirror. I was making up my mind. This was torment. I was preparing myself for every comeback of my dad, calculating pros and cons, and thinking, What if he asks this and that bullshit? How the hell was I going to oppose him? It was going to be tough shit, but I have made up my fucking mind.
It was almost dinner time. I made my way towards the dining table, and my parents and my sisters were waiting for me. I took my seat; it's now or never, and we started having dinner. As per tradition, the conversation would always start with taunting and lecturing me about being perfect. Either way, I would get those, so it is better to start with what I have prepared for myself till now.
"Dad, I need to speak with you", "Go on", by clearing my throat, "I need a weekend break from coaching class, only this weekend", hmmm, "And why you need a break", it's been a long time I had stopped lying to my dad because fear he would catch my lies easily and now it feels like first time when we need something strongly than lies will flow without bloody hesitation and so was my case, "My friends planned weekend trip they invited me, it's been very long time I am thinking to go", " Give me dam good reason why should I agree for this bullshit of yours, like have you done something to make me proud, if I remember correctly you are not good at least in one thing, why the hell should I give you permission", here we fucking go again, "Dad, I am doing my best, topper in my class, good at the languages I have enrolled into and captain of football team, I am 17, I have tried my best I am not going to give up I will meet your expectation in future too, I need a break it's been long time I have not hangout with friends, never missed any coaching class am I not obedient enough, that reason is not enough for giving permission".
There was a silence. Of course, trying to digest my outburst, there should be a fucking limit for everything. Why can't he just give Dam permission this time? " I am not getting why I am hearing complaints. For God sake, in the future there is going to be a bloody competition every fucking day. You need to prove yourself every day without taking a break; then only you can survive in this bloody world, and I am making sure you are capable of swimming. I am not going to let any other surname rule my company other than mine. What is bloody wrong with asking to be perfect? Was it too much? He and his fucking perfect bullshit. Perfect can only be found in the dictionary and not anywhere else; bloody sure, not in me, no matter how much I try to. " It was not too much, as I said I am doing my best this is my teen life once it's finished I am going to be an adult, I can barely enjoy as the things are going, I am going to have a shitty life", "The life you are calling as shitty most of the people would die for it, do you got any idea how you feel being powerful, respected everywhere, ruled in most of the places and not to forget rich life you are going to lead as I said few people would kill to get your shitty life", "Dad, I know I have heard this umpteenth times, what all I am asking is one weekend, I need a break it's not that I have lacked anywhere I am proving constantly and I deserve this break", "When are you going to come out from enough and carve for more I am not getting, how the hell you going to survive, ok only this weekend I will speak with your professors, let this not become habit I am not getting why I agreed trust me you don't deserve a break, not even a day, don't get into any trouble, Am I clear", "Yes", "I hope it's crystal, I am fed up repeating but you are not by hearing, or else I would not get this whining from your end, any way only this weekend", "Ok, thank you", " I don't want your thank you instead be the man I am pouring my energy in and you better make worth of it", "Ok" with that our conversation was ended, only sounds could be heard of utensils that we were using. I should be bloody happy he finally permitted me, but I was so enraged for showcasing his annoyance even more than before regarding me. This dad of mine was fucking hard to please.