Wednesday.
Day 23.
Issa.
"You know how crazy you two sound right? You met in a dream? Seriously?"
It didn't take long for Jo to get curious about what the hell was happening between me and Blake. I could tell Blake didn't favor my choice of telling Jo every last detail, it was obvious he had kept it to himself for so long, but at this point I didn't care about Jo knowing. Honestly I felt like I could trust her, as weird as it sounded. She had given me the burden of dealing with Lizzy again, so I would give her one right back.
Plus, I couldn't find many reasons to care about how Jo saw me, even if that was me now definitely being crazy in her eyes.
"It's the truth. But I really don't care if you don't believe me or not, I know it's real, as do Blake and George. So that's all that matters." Jo simply gives me a look that says she still was iffy about it, but I simply ignored it. I only cared about the fact that Blake was really here right now, and knew everything.
And I was dying to find out why he did too.
"So, it's just you and George who know?" I shake my head at Blake as he finally manages to get more than two words out from shock.
"Uh yeah. As far as we know at least. It's insane." Now thinking back, the visions Blake was also having made much more sense now. He was just hiding the real reason behind them like everyone else. Just keeping his guard up the whole time, to not sound crazy. The visions weren't just super coincidental afterall.
I really needed to trust my gut some more.
"-not Lectra?" I stop radiating my almost joyful attitude when I finally see that Blake wasn't mimicking my emotions the same way in the slightest. All I saw from him was disappointment, then even more of it when I finally added;
"No. She doesn't remember like us." He simply nods.
"She does believe us though. About everything. I'm sure you two will still be good friends again Blake." This wasn't going at all how I imagined it. My first thoughts after finding out about George was definitely immeasurable amounts of confusion, then relief knowing I wasn't alone anymore. But that isn't at all what I saw from Blake.
Just pain.
"She's here at the party right now actually. If you wanted to go talk to her?" I don't wait or think at all, I simply stand up, take hold of Blake's hand and don't stray to march back into the house to search for Lectra. I had totally forgotten about Jo until moments later when I heard from behind me softly;
"Okay. Whatever I'll just be here then-" Her small voice got even smaller the further away we got from her, and I knew I would have to deal with her again at some point. Especially now that she had my number. Ugh.
I wave over my shoulder at her, flashing a kind smile to Jo before continuing on my expedition for Lectra. The entire time I dragged a very resistant Blake along, all I could hear were small 'no, no, no's' begging me to stop, but I knew seeing Lectra would be better for him. At least I hoped it would be.
The second I see Lectra, still attached to Jay, I was pulling myself and Blake after her swiftly. She was simply sitting at the living room couch, looking unbelievably bored. It wasn't a sight I was used to.
"Lectra!" I didn't care about shouting her nickname anymore, even as I saw Jay's face go from content to confused in seconds from the unknown name.
"Lectra?" Lectra must not have heard me, but the second Jay spoke up she was quickly finding me and Blake speed walking towards her. Just as fast as she found us, her eyes widened at the sight coming her way.
"Oh. Oh. You found Blake?" I stop not even a couple feet away from Lectra, unsure if I heard her correctly.
"What? You know him too?" She smirks at my obvious disarray.
"Well, yeah. Kinda. Me and George just met him with Wes. It's a long story. That's what we wanted to talk to you about actually. Surprise?" I take in some air, not sure why my hopes were so up about the possibility of Lectra remembering Blake. I mean, she didn't remember anyone else, so why would he be any different?
"That's what I was trying to tell you Issa. We already met yesterday. I just hoped that-" Blake stops, sounding defeated and ready to leave, then he eyes Jay beside Lectra.
"Who's this?"
"Oh, this is Jay. My boyfriend. Jay this is Blake. He's, uh, a new friend I guess." Lectra laughed awkwardly trying to figure exactly what to call Blake. Obviously George had already explained to Lectra who Blake was, that they were best friends at the school. But only Blake remembered that, and it was clear he was disappointed by the fact.
Jay stands and reaches to shake Blake's hand to try and discipate the tension. Blake doesn't reach back.
"Nice to meet you. I need to go." Then just like that, Blake was turning around and walking right back out of the house in the direction of his car. And as usual, I was totally lost. What the hell just happened?
"Well, he was kinda strange wasn't he?" Jay bumps Lectras shoulder as he laughs off what just happened between the four of us. Lectra didn't look the least bit amused with him.
"Let me-" Lectra moves to get up from the couch to go after Blake but is swiftly stopped by Jay grabbing ahold of her arm and keeping her still. Lectra simply stays put. I eye the two of them and find Jay avoiding eye contact, acting as if nothing had just happened at all, just like Lectra.
Finally when Lectra finds my eyes, she looks ever so off and not much like herself anymore, then a shy smile creeps on her face and she was back to herself.
I didn't know what the hell was going on with them, but right then all I wanted was to comfort Blake before he left. I would have to deal with Lectra later.
"I'll go see what's the matter. Sorry guys." I give Lectra one last look and spin around to go after Blake. I make my way back outside to not see Blake anywhere, only a dozen other drunk college kids packed around in the yard now. I must have just missed him. Crap.
I'm about to turn back around to go inside when I hear a quiet voice next me;
"Issa. Down here." I jump a little too hard at Blake's unexpected words close by. I finally look around to find Blake in fact still here, sitting on the porch just below me out of sight.
"Holy crap you scared me. I didn't see you there!" I see a small smile form then immediately retreat.
"Sorry. Looking for me I'm guessing?" I nod at him now looking unbelievably sad.
"Yep. Wanna explain what that was about?" Blake shrugs at me then lowers his head into his lap before adding;
"I was just hoping Lectra also remembered me like you and George do. We were-good friends." I figured as much, he and Lectra were definitely good friends. I mean, he was there for her after Wes treated her terribly. They both looked out for one another.
I let myself drop down to his level and sit.
"Well, you know I'm going through the same thing. I miss her too. But she's the same person here, just with less information about the school. That's all." Blake meets my eyes and I see a flicker of hope bloom this time.
"You can still be friends with her. You did it once you'll do it again Blake." Feeling guilt for everything happening to Blake, I pat my hand alone his shoulder, trying to help any way I could, then within seconds I was reminded about what the two of us had going on at the school and was instantly feeling uncomfortable.
"It's kind of weird to be able to talk to someone about this. After so long of hiding it, y'know?" I slowly nod in agreement at him, trying not to show how awkward I was really feeling about our fake relationship.
"About that, I really wanna talk to you about it some more."
"Okay, sure. Where do I even start?" I run my hand through my hair then force out the words I was dreading saying to him all at once;
"Like, George maybe?" Blake doesn't go wide eyed in realization like I was expecting him to, instead he just keeps staring at me, much like he had many times at the school after our many fake kisses.
"Oh. What about it?"
"Well, I dunno. We don't really need to do that anymore. At the school or here. Just so you know and all-" I couldn't believe I had even forgotten about what he and I were doing to mess with George in the first place. George must still believe what was happening with me and Blake was real, and now that Blake was back and remembered too, he was sure to hate him even more once he found out. Great.
"If that's what you want. But it sure was fun to make him that angry all the time. If you ever change your mind, I'm down." Blake didn't look all too upset, just disappointed that our fun was ending. I had to admit, it was a little fun to get back at George sometimes, but now it was all so different. Afterall, I had been secretly sleeping with George at the school.
And of course I needed to follow my habits and do the same damn thing with Cam behind everyone's back.
"I'll let you know, but don't get your hopes up." I wink at Blake, still unsure how he really felt about me after all this time together. Sometimes I wasn't entirely sure how I even felt about him, like I needed another guy to be confused over.
"Just-please don't tell George it was all fake. Okay? That's way too embarrassing to admit." Blake nods away knowingly at me but doesn't say anything, only giving me another chance to study him longer. Studying him again, I couldn't deny that Blake made me feel something, whether that was just friendship or more, I didn't know entirely. I just felt-calm, with him around me. Ugh, ugh, ugh.
"Okay, I have a question for you now." I'm ripped from my thoughts as Blake speaks again. He doesn't wait for me to answer him, because in an instant he was asking;
"Why the hell were you hanging out with Jo anyway?" His question caught me off guard, and made me remember that he was the jerk ex who cheated on both Lizzy and Jo, and all I could think then was; Why was every sweet guy in my life secretly a cheating asshole?
"Um, well I have a question right back for you. Why the hell were you sleeping with both Jo and Lizzy?" His face goes pale instantly and I can tell he doesn't know where to start, so I take over for him, feeling subtle rage take over all at once, making me forget how I was feeling just seconds ago.
"I mean, I knew you and Lizzy were together at the school, that disgusted me already, but now Jo too?" I fake gag thinking about Blake's bad taste to get my point across. He still isn't able to let even a single word out as I blurt everything I was thinking to him;
"And it wasn't even them who cheated, but somehow you. That's what's absolutely baffling me, honestly." I stare straight at Blake, finally stopping my babbling, hating just how much he was like every other guy I've encountered. He wasn't any different.
"Can I get a word in now?" He speaks but doesn't sound worried, but he does sound ashamed. Before Blake could begin spewing his excuses at me, I let myself breathe to cool off some more, then calmly said;
"If you must." He exhales right back then slowly begins;
"I did cheat on them both, yeah. But I do have a reason. Which sounds incredibly stupid, I know. But hear me out." He doesn't continue so I waver my hands, signaling to keep going, utterly confused what he had to say to defend cheating. This would be good.
"Well you know that I dated Lizzy at the school, then she cheated on me?" I nod.
"I didn't know her at all here, so I thought I'd find her and get her to fall for me again. Then I'd get payback for what she did to me. That's why I went for Jo. They knew eachother and would eventually find out sooner or later. And they clearly did." I don't speak, I wasn't sure what to say, or how to feel. I didn't even have the chance to say anything, because Blake was starting up again;
"I'm an ass for it, but you know Lizzy is ten times worse and deserving. I would never cheat on someone, ever. It was a one time thing. An incredibly stupid thing."
"And what about Jo? What did she do to you to deserve this?" That was when Blake's face got unbelievably small and sad, making me ease up on him.
"She told me she only wanted to hookup, that's why it was perfect. I never expected her to actually fall for me. I came there today to talk to Jo and that's when it all really came out in the open." What he was saying made sense, Lizzy did deserve it, maybe even Jo, but it still felt wrong. I wasn't sure how to react.
Blake and I only sat there watching eachother, then all at once I was hit with a sudden realization that I felt stupid for only then noticing. When I had first met Blake at the school, I was so sure I remembered him from somewhere, and sitting here talking with him finally helped me to understand why.
He was the random guy Jo had been making out with on my own bed at the dorm.
I was so stuck on getting out of there that day that I didn't care enough to get a too good of look at him. That must have also been why Blake was so nervous talking with me. And even more, seeing him today at my dorm was him visiting Jo. I was so blind to it all. My mind was taking in so much that I couldn't even speak anymore. All I could do was stare at Blake absorbing the facts.
Just then a group of drunk college kids came running outside playing some unknown game, screaming much too loud to be able to hear eachother anymore. I quickly notice one of the guys was tossing around a probably very expensive vase and decided then to nope out of there.
"Wanna go somewhere else to talk?" Without even responding to Blake's invite, I was instantly getting up from our spot just in time for a football to come flying our way, just narrowly missing my face.
"Shit-yes please." Blake chuckles at my near miss then we were walking back inside.
Of course with my bad luck it wouldn't just be 'walking back inside'. As usual, there would have to be someone there to make drama somehow. This time it was George, watching both me and Blake walking upstairs together. As if that didn't look suspicious.
I ignore Georges obvious stare and I continue to lead Blake up to my room, knowing it was the only good place to get peace and quiet. I knew I would be dealing with George later, but now I was dealing with Blake, neither of which I really wanted to be involved with tonight. My night was supposed to be alcohol, alcohol and more alcohol.
Guess that wasn't the plan anymore.
--Blake--
"So you really live here? Dang."
Issa had walked me upstairs in the giant house that reminded me way too much of the school, simply from the size alone. It was huge, and I was extremely shocked to find out Issa also lived here with Lectra, even George, Cam and Brooks. It wasn't the fact that she also lived with her Chancellor that kind of freaked me out, but because of Cam.
She had informed me about all of the changes different here from the school, that Cam wasn't such a bad guy afterall. Not the kidnapping type at least. He wasn't even the one running the damn place, but instead someone nobody else knew about. The Boss, or something like that. She had made it incredibly obvious not to tell anyone, even Lectra, which felt wrong.
I couldn't possibly keep anything that important from her. But I knew it was for the best.
I trusted Issa wholeheartedly, I just wasn't sure how much I trusted her intuition about Cam. Even if Issa trusted Cam, it was still strange any way I would look at it. He was still each of ours kidnapper back at the school, and living with him was definitely peculiar to say the least.
It would take me awhile to get over the fact.
"Yeah. Lectras brother was really generous to let me stay here. I'm thankful."
"Yeah, Brooks, right? It's weird that she never really talked about him much." Issa had just gotten back to her room after brushing her teeth and changing into some more comfortable clothes in a nearby bathroom, and I didn't know how to tell her that she had a white toothpaste smear across her cheek, so all I did was try my best to ignore it while she added;
"She just isn't very close with him. I don't blame her. I mean, I never talk about my family either. I'm not very close with them. I get it." I nod away, trying to understand not being close with your own family. I couldn't relate. Me and my family were almost too close, not in a weird way obviously, but just enough that we definitely classified as one of those 'live, laugh, love' types to cringe over.
"I think she just prefers for it to be left alone." I can only nod again, then my eyes trail back up to her mouth, then over to her cheek again, spotting the white spot driving me crazy all at once until I finally exploded saying;
"You-you have a little-on your-" I reach over from where I was sitting on a chair to point probably much too closely at the toothpaste tempting my sanity the longer it stayed present. Instantly Issa was giving me a confused glance then was pacing over to her mirror.
"Oh, wow. That's cute." She doesn't waste another second and was quick to wipe it away with the sleeve of her sweater.
"Finally. It was absolutely killing me this whole time." I let out an exasperated sigh and lean back in peace, knowing it was finally over with.
"What? You've noticed since I got back and didn't tell me? That's so embarrassing dude." I catch the humor in her voice and shoot back a smile to match her shy one. As much as I shouldn't have, I then wondered if Issa felt different for me than she was letting on.
"Okay, but you were right though. It was kinda cute-" Issa rolls her eyes at me so I add;
"-for the first five seconds, then I was a train wreck." We laugh together like we were the best of friends, and for a moment everything felt better, and I couldn't even remember the school or anything about it, until she spoke again saying;
"Alright, enough of that. Let's talk about how you, Lectra and George already met. Spill, so we can forget about my dumb toothpaste crisis." I let one last laugh out and think back to when I had 'accidentally' bumped into the two.
Slowly, I go on to explain everything that lead to us all finally meeting.
•••
Meeting Wes admittedly hadn't been an accident at all.
It all started one day after waking up from being at the school, when I saw Wes on campus. He was the second person from the school for me to have seen, other than Lizzy, and I was more than happy to see him, because I knew Wes meant Lectra and maybe even Issa.
That singular thought was all I needed to take action.
After seeing him, I didn't hesitate to approach him in an attempt to become close with him to possibly get to the two girls and maybe find out they knew me too. At the time it was a good idea, but now I see that I totally used Wes for my own good. But honestly, he had hurt Lectra, so part of me still didn't feel bad about it.
We got closer and eventually it was that fateful day for me, Lectra and George to meet unexpectedly, and it was nothing but disappointing.
At first thought, I had in mind that nobody else would remember who I was, since Wes and Lizzy hadn't, so I decided I wouldn't risk trying to find out with them anymore. I was protecting myself from being seen as the crazy guy, because either way they would be back inside my life again. And this time it would be my real one and not the school.
But today when Issa blurted that she knew, I was ecstatic. That is until I figured out Lectra had no clue who I was. She was the reason I even came back to them all again. And now I didn't even have her.
Last to come was the party, and finally I met Issa, who didn't waste any time figuring everything out. It hurt not having Lectra anymore, but I had to take Issa's word for it and believe we would connect again, even with that Jay guy being in the way. Lectra was just too important to me.
Even if I felt the same way for Issa.