Sunday.
Day 6.
Cam.
I watch George leave my office and head for Issa's room, feeling a tinge of jealousy as he did. I mean, how else was I supposed to feel about my boyfriend going to see his girlfriend in her room? Everything was so, so complicated.
I was the one who told him to do it, so I knew I had no right to be this upset. But not only was I feeling jealous, but now I also feeling well deserved guilt.
I could have just let them be together happily, but I needed to be selfish and have George too. I should have just told him to go to her and break it off with me. Eventually he had to tell Issa about our kiss, and there's no way she would have taken that well. So maybe this was the right thing to do? Probably not. Definitely not.
I sit down at my desk and open my laptop. My heart dropped at the sight of a message on my screen. It was my Boss. He came here tonight and expected me to be there watching everyone and I ended up leaving. Too scared to open his message, I take a deep breath and eventually read;
Boss: 'Where are you? Whatever you are doing, I expect you back here asap!'
I don't bother replying, I close my laptop and exit my office, hurrying back to the fire, terrified.
I knew it wasn't that big of deal. I could just make up a lie that some people were loitering the hallways indoors and leave it at that. But he was still the reason all of these people were here. He started this place, so clearly he was sick in the head and shouldn't be messed with.
I didn't know what this man was totally capable of yet and I didn't plan on finding out tonight.
I walk outside and see the fire had died down alot since I was out there. I look down at my watch and see it was now ten minutes to 12. Everyone was told that the event ended at midnight, so we should be wrapping up soon. There was still alot of people out so I hurried over to my Boss. He was standing near an area that no one else was at, secluded and undetected, the way he liked it.
"Whatever excuse you're about to give me, save it. Get everyone out of here. I want to leave." He barely looks at me, he just barks orders. I remembered then what George had told me to ask him. How was I supposed to ask him to give everyone permission to leave every now and then like I got to do? It was impossible to ask for. If I was going to ask though, it would be better in person. That being said, now was not the time, that much was obvious.
I nod to him and go over to the fire. As I walk over, the people I walk by make way, acting scared of me. It didn't feel great to have every person I walk by hurry away whenever I was around. That was one reason I couldn't leave George. He saw me for me and not the beast I was being forced to be around everyone else.
Everyone around me was dancing and hanging out, having fun. And I was about to end that real fast. With a loud and aggressive scream, I yell;
"Hey! Times up! It's midnight. That means head on back to your rooms. Now!" Nobody hesitated at my words. In a second they were scrambling back inside the building. Feeling like a villian, I head back over to my Boss. He was now packing up all of his gear and getting ready to leave.
"Good job. Might have to reward you for tonight." He laughs as he says this. Not sure how much he meant what he had just said to me, I get an idea. Feeling like I wouldn't get another chance to ask him about the visitations, I go for it. For George.
"I was wondering. Since everyone here is chipped anyway, what if we give some other people more privileges too? Like visiting family members like say, once a month?" He stops what he's doing, looks at me then starts laughing like I had just told him a joke.
"I'm being serious. You let me give one person permission to talk to family already, why not a few others?" All he did was pause what he was doing and set down his stuff on the ground. He didn't look at me but he was pulling at his fingers, cracking them one by one. I was beginning to back away when he says;
"Stay there unless you want a bigger punishment." Immediately I stopped. Shit.
"Face or fingers?" I didn't understand his question. Feeling dizzy I ask;
"Face or-what?" He stops cracking his knuckles and bolts at me, holding the collar of my shirt tightly, causing me to gag.
"Your face or fingers. Pick now or I'll do both." I was beginning to feel pressured, not knowing what to choose or, for that matter, what he was about to do. Looking into his alluring eyes behind his mask, noticing now he was growing angrier and angrier, I answered;
"Face." Having a feeling where this was going, I cower and scrunch up my face. In one swift movement, he throws his fist at my cheek. I was immediately slammed down onto the ground, holding my face. Seconds later, I felt a drop on my shirt and realized I had a bloody nose. I stopped grabbing my face and instead began holding my nose upward. I look up to see him, now packing his stuff up again.
"Don't ask me again." He brushes past me on the ground and walks away. I had never been punched before, and it wasn't a feeling I liked, obviously, but after tonight, I didn't really care. I deserved this.
I helped take these people here and was now was getting my reward.
*George*
I felt like I had been stabbed through my heart leaving Issa's room.
The look on her face when I told her what I did was more heartbreaking than I could have imagined. And what was even worse, the face when I asked her to have a relationship with Cam. How could I ask her to do that after I had just cheated on her. And to add even more, everything Cam has done to her. I just wish she knew why he was the way he was here, then she might understand, but I couldn't tell her about his Boss.
I felt like I couldn't walk and just wanted to lay down and never wake up again. Never in my life had I felt this way about two people at the same time before, and I had to go and ruin everything between one of them. Not wanting to go back to my room, I go back to Cam's office. I think about what I'll say to him but my mind is blank. I'm too upset to even think properly.
On my way there to his office, I see him walking up to it, with a bloody nose. I forget for a second why I'm upset and run to him. He sees me and waves casually, like this was a normal occurrence for him.
"Cam! Your nose!" Not looking even a little upset, he randomly starts laughing, then he turned towards his office. He simply opened his door and walked inside. I followed him frantically while also managing to ask;
"Am I missing something? Your nose is bleeding!" Bending down to look closer at him, he also had a bruise forming on his cheek. He ignored me and pointed toward his desk. Finally he says;
"Mini fridge behind my desk. Inside on the left." Not wasting another second, I reach behind his desk and grab around until I find what he means. I find an ice pack and swiftly hand it to him. He slowly places it on his face with a small grimace. He must have grabbed a couple tissues to stop the bleeding while I was away because he now had them rolled up inside his nostrils.
"It was him, wasn't it?" I ask, hoping to be wrong. He just nods.
"Was it because you left?" This time he finally spoke, but he sounded very 'this is all your fault, you know?' as he did.
"No. It's because I asked for everyone else to be able to visit family too. Guess that's out of the picture, huh?" He quickly breathed out a sigh, relaxing before he said anything he'd regret.
"Shit. I'm sorry I made you ask, Cam. I get it. I won't make you ask for anything again from that man." I rush towards him, hugging him, now realizing how badly I needed this. I immediately break down in his arms. He must have heard me sniffling because he stretches his arms out and looks into my eyes questionablely. In an instant they changed to understanding.
"She didn't take it well, did she?" I hysterically shake my head at him and like a big baby, burst into tears. All Cam does is pull me back in, holding me. I can feel myself shaking as I cry, feeling slightly embarrassed by it. Cam whispers a quiet 'it's okay' and I immediately feel a little less embarrassed.
I then realize I was starting to feel dizzy. I ignored it and continued hugging Cam, crying less now. I was glad he was letting me cry into his arms like this. When we were together before this place, as just friends, we would never hug, or touch at all for that matter.
"I'm glad you told me Cam." He looks down at me in his lap and tilts his head sideways.
"Told you what George?" I smile and tell him;
"That you wanted to be more than friends. I never had the courage to do it when we were friends. I'm just glad I have you now." My head was pounding now and I felt like I was just spewing nonsense from my mouth. Luckily. Cam smiled like he understood, telling me he knew what I meant.
Why was I feeling funny? Everything around me was moving around except for Cam. He must have noticed I was freaking out because his expression had changed to concerned within seconds. His mouth was moving but I heard no words coming out. Feeling terrified, I move away from him and try standing, but instantly fall back down.
"George!-what's-" I finally heard a few words but couldn't look up at him to respond. I was on all fours on the tile floor staring at the ground, watching it move beneath me. The floor moved beneath my fingertips like it was jello, making me instantly dry heave.
Why was I experiencing this? What was happening to me? I wanted to say these words out loud but my mouth wouldn't listen to me.
I felt a hand pull me up as my heart started slowing down much more calm like now. Trying to calm myself down, I think of my life before all of this. How simple it all was, and how much I heartbreakingly missed it after almost five years here, until finally I passed out onto the tile.