Sunday.
Day 6.
George.
I frantically run back into the building after Cam, trying to figure out what to say but couldn't think of a damn thing. I was screwed.
There was no way he would forgive me. I was the one who made this mistake, so I should take the blame, not Issa. Then soon after I would have to tell Issa, since there was no way she would just be okay with what happened outside.
Figuring Cam had probably made his way to his office, I go there first. I don't even bother knocking, I make my way inside and see him sitting down in his bean bag chair. He doesn't look up at me, he just stares down at the floor, looking emotionless. I didn't know what to say to him, or if I should even approach him right now at all. Over thinking, I close the door behind me and walk closer to him finally.
Without looking up at me, he speaks gently;
"I'm not mad at you. Just so you know." His voice was way too calm, making me flinch more than I probably would have if he was yelling instead. I wasn't sure if he was testing me or not so I stayed silent.
"I'm not even mad at her. Issabelle, I mean." He had made it incredibly clear that her new name was Ani, not Issa and have to ogle him to make sure I heard him right. I take a look closer at him and notice he's holding a folder. At the top it read; 'Issabelle'. Why was he looking at her folder? After still saying nothing, he continued;
"I'm not mad at any of you. I'm mad at myself." Cam then throws the folder across the room causing me to jump. He notices the movement and covers his face with his hands, almost like he was about to cry.
"You're scared of me. Everyone here is. And because of that, you thought you had to hide your relationship from me." I kneel down next to him and grab his hand. He finally looks up at me so I calmly state;
"I think I didn't tell you about her, because I knew you cared about me. And so do I. But I-I knew I couldn't have you both." I was also scared of what he would do to Issa if he knew, but I wasn't about to tell him that. Part of me knew he wasn't capable of actually doing anything. He was just Cam, he wasn't a monster. He was only playing the part.
"Why not?" Cam says simply. Was he trying to say it was okay to have both Issa and himself? I didn't believe my ears so I asked;
"What do you mean by that?"
"I was watching her tonight, I get it. Why you're so attached to her. She's a challenge." He stopped then smirked a bit, but only for a split second, then he continued;
"The way she got that skirt even though I plainly told her not to. She's different than everyone else here. And she isn't scared of me at all. It's intriguing." I lean back and sit on the ground in front of him. Trying to make sense of what Cam was telling me, I scratch my temple hard.
I felt like I was hallucinating this conversation. Was he really, actually, telling me he liked Issa? That he didn't hate her as much as I had thought? Feeling like I was losing my mind, I giggled and shook my head at him.
"You're telling me you-you like Issa? I thought you hated her." Still laughing at him, thinking it was a joke even more after saying it aloud, he just shrugs at me.
"I mean I never hated her-" He pauses, rethinking what he had just said then restates;
"Well, kind of. But I also just don't know her. I'd like to though. For you, George." Once again, feeling tricked I say;
"You're just joking. Right?" Cam leanes toward me so we were only inches away and whispers;
"I'm being serious George. I don't want to make you choose. That's wrong of me. After everything I've done." I felt like I was on a cheesy TV sit-com and a whole crew was about to come out of the shadows and tell me I just got pranked. After this whole time of freaking out over telling Cam, he was now sitting in front of me, basically begging to make things work between the three of us.
"It's not my choice to make now. Issa still doesn't know you and I kissed. After I tell her, she's bound to hate me."
"If she really cares, she'll stay with you-erm, I mean, us?" I can't help but laugh. Then I grow serious again.
"I still cheated on her. That's not just something you can easily forgive. Even if it was just something as small as a kiss."
"The way I remember it, I made the move first. So just blame it all on me." Cam was sounding significantly happier now that we had talked it out, but I was still stressed about how I'd tell Issa. And part of me was waiting for Cam to jump at me and say he was joking about all of this.
"She also cheated on you too, y'know?" Completely forgetting that's how this whole mess started, I felt my face burn up. There's no way I could be mad. If it was Lectra who kissed Issa, then it was probably just a weird, weird, friend thing. I told myself this, wanting to believe it, but finding it hard to not be at least a little jealous.
"Why don't you just go to her room? Wait for her then tell her everything." I look at Cam totally amazed, still astonished that he was even okay with this at all. Now he was even telling me to go to her room? Everything felt so unreal, like a dream. He was right though. I needed to tell Issa before my guilt consumed me.
"I'm scared Cam." Even if Issa could forgive what I've done, how would she just be okay with Cam? He had taken her here and hit her the first day, and even I haven't forgiven that yet. Plus she is under the impression that Cam is willingly taking people here, she has no idea about the actual Boss, Cam's Boss.
Cam sees how concerned I looked so he gets closer and hugs me. I felt so safe in my former best friends arms. Somehow, our embrace made me gain courage. I pull away and look into his eyes.
"Thank you." Is all I can say. As much courage as I felt, part of me was also still nervous that I'd be losing Issa tonight. Cam nods at me and I get up from the floor and leave, heading for Issa's room.
*Issa*
Lectra was saying something to me but I couldn't hear her. There was only one thing on my mind right then; Cam had to have found out about George and I. He must have, there's no way he would be that angry at me otherwise. The question is, how did he find out?
The only thing I could think of was Lizzy, but she had no reason to rat me out right now. Feeling Lectras hands on my shoulder, shaking me, I tune back into what she was saying.
"Issa! Are you listening to me? What the hell was that about?" I give her a half giggle, not really amused at all, simply feeling on edge about what had just happened.
"Cam must have found out about George and I somehow." I say, somehow sounding perfectly calm.
"It's gotta be Lizzy, who else would have told him?"
"Yes, but I haven't done anything to get to her, so why would she?" Lectra nodded in agreement, then she started pacing around, thinking.
"I'd love to figure this out as much as you do, but I would rather be in my room if Cam's gonna come kill me." She laughed then realized I wasn't joking.
"Oh. Okay yeah, let's go." We walk back inside and head back to my room. The whole walk there I could barely think. What was going to happen to me? That thought gets abandoned immediately, not actually wanting to think about it too hard. Lectra and I walk into my room and sitting there on my bed was George.
Immediately Lectra pounces at him in anger;
"What did you tell Cam? Huh?" I grab her to keep her from killing him. Probably, literally.
"Lectra! I can handle this." She looks at me in disaproval, but when my expression stays the same she sighs and leaves my room. Before closing the door, she turns and stares down George with a death glare. Eventually slamming the door, I turn and look at him on my bed.
"What are you doing here? Why the hell was Cam about to straight up murder me out there?" I asked him these questions like I didn't already know the answer. I could already assume that Cam somehow knew everything about George and I, but I was hoping for him to say something different, like it was a big misunderstanding.
Looking unbelievably sad, George starts explaining;
"Cam found out about us. Some girl saw you kissing someone and told us." I stare back at George, totally uncomfortable now. What the hell? Who could have seen us? Then I remembered the unknown noise coming from behind us after Lectra and I had kissed. I naturally assumed it was just some animal and dismissed it. Big mistake I guess.
"Oh. Who the hell was it?" George shrugs and continues, not sounding as pissed at me as he maybe should have;
"I don't know, she was blonde though, if that helps? She did look familiar." Oh my god, Lectra was right, it must've been Lizzy. It should have been obvious. Who else had it out for me like Lizzy did? Not a single person, as far as I was aware at least. Then I noticed that George was looking at me, finally looking a little upset about me kissing someone.
"Her names Lizzy, the one that told you guys. Lectra kissed me. It was just-experimental-on her end." He nods like he didn't really care, then sighs after, so I butt in;
"Why-how are you even here right now? How's Cam?" He pats his hand down on my bed offering for me to sit next to him so I do.
"Cam and I talked a little." Fully prepared for him the break it off with me I close my eyes waiting for the sting, then he says;
"He's okay with us happening Issa." I open my eyes back up and stare at him, feeling like I heard him wrong. If this was true, then why did he seem so distressed?
"Um, but why?" George takes a huge breath in and I now noticed he had tears in his eyes.
"Because-he has feelings for me. And doesn't want me to choose between the two of you." I turn my head, confused by what he has just told me.
"Why would you need to choose?" Without wasting any time, he blurts out;
"Because I also have feelings for him. We kissed, okay? I'm sorry Issa." My face burns red and I scoot away from him on my bed looking down at the floor wondering if I was hearing him correctly yet again. He just told me he cheated on me, after just a few days of being together. Wow.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing at all. How could someone like George do this? I felt like an absolute idiot. I don't say anything, I can't make words, so he adds;
"Cam wants us to all try something. I like you both too much to choose. I understand how bad that sounds but I really can't lose either of you." I don't feel like crying, weirdly, but I do feel like slapping him. I don't, but I stand up and stare down at him in disbelief instead. He cowers slightly at my movement, most likely thinking I was going to hit him. Which looking back, I really should have.
How could he ask me to be in a relationship with Cam? He was the reason we were both here. He had even hit me. He clearly did not like me, even a little. I absolutely hated Cam. As if he were reading my mind George states;
"Cam even told me he likes you Issa. You intrigue him. Just like with me. You're unique." Having not said anything in awhile, the next words come out of me in a whisper;
"You cheated on me." Georges face instantly changes from hopeful to sorrow. I hear his breathing speed up and then a soft sniffle. He was crying. I wasn't about to feel sorry for him because he was crying. I then think about me and Lectras kiss, which could also be considered cheating, except it was totally different circumstances. I had nothing to worry about. Him crying only made me feel more furious.
"I should be the one crying right now. Not you." I emphasized the last word which makes him flinch hard. It hurt to have to be mean to George. He was the one reason I was okay with being here in this place.
Now, feeling like vomiting, I lean against my desk. George hesitates, but he moves toward me, grabbing the small of my back. I feel his hand rubbing my back and I instantly start to tear up. I missed his touch so much. I quickly smack his hand away and turn to him. He's holding his hand and now squeezing it hard. I look closer and see his nails dig into his palm. He sees me watching and stops.
"I-I want you to leave." He slowly backs away and heads to the door obeying me instantly, still watching me like I would miraculously change my mind just from one look.
"Issa-" I inturrupt him and say sharply;
"I want you to leave me alone. Just leave George." I see him stutter to say something then give up. With that, he leaves my room. As if I were repeating my first day here again, I fall into bed and cry the rest of the night feeling all my little amount of happiness slipping away.
The last thought on my mind was my life before this whole mess and how much I truly did miss it, then I got dizzy and passed out.