The next day she got an idea of dressing the way she did
"At least now if I embarrass myself they won't know who I am"
She approached him, his eyes lit up when she asked for the autograph and she found peace in it and then she made him smile and her heart felt warm, she loved the feelings and came again and again
"Let's heal together" she said
Everytime she met him she felt different emotions till he became a reason to live
"A few years ago I would always contemplate on why am still alive, I wanted to end it all. The only thing that kept me alive was that I didn't want to disappoint my parents, they taught me to be a fighter but I still wanted to die. I had that thought and wanted to end it but then I found you and a possibility that if I can make a lifeless person feel alive then I can live too. I found hope if he lives then there's hope for me"she said
Lena slowly fell for him but she was happy she could get close to him and that was enough
Aidan read about everything written in the book he smiled at some point when he was reading things she wrote about him
"Mom I think I am in love. I dream about him all the time I find hope in his smile and I melt whenever he says something nice about me"
"Mom after you, dad and uncle Jonas I have found another whom my mind wants to remember all the time and my heart doesn't want to forget. It's a sign of hope right because If I remember every moment spent with him then maybe I will not end up forgetting like you did, because I wouldn't want to forget anything about him, I want to remember everything because I wouldn't want to forget anything about him"
"Dad I hope you give us your blessings. oh he and I kissed and it felt amazing, please mind don't forget please"
These amongst others she wrote about him, most was pleading with her mind to not forget
Aidan smiled and cried
"You always felt my emotions, you saw the real me when no one did. I am glad you approached me because I was giving up but then you showed up and light up my life. I love you so much Lena and it's not because you found this broken me and helped me but because you are my soul mate and the one my heart beats for.....please come back to me" Aidan said
Lena had to constantly fight with her inner self
"Mom today I looked inside the mirror and my inner self told me not to be happy because you will be disappointed in me, how can I be happy when my parents died because of me, because they wanted a life for me, because mom would never have borrowed if not because of my education and well being also she wanted me to grow up with my father around, if I wasn't in their life then they would probably be alive today mom would only have dad to be worried about and even after dad died maybe she would have survived if she was all alone and running from Don.Thinking about it I realized my inner self is right how can I be happy when everything was my fault.
'Forget those happy moments' her inner self constantly said
'But mom am I a bad child because I don't want to forget him'
'You are a selfish child and you don't deserve to live he will leave you like every other person because you are selfish. How can you forget your parents and welcome moments of another" her inner self said
'If he leaves then there's no hope to carry on' she replied
She always thought she was cursed and was the reason for her parents death and then she involved Jonas into her curse and did everything so she can release him from her misery but then no matter how hard she tried it was still not enough, she had her anxiety and depression got the best of her a lot was going through her mind and it was not healthy for her
"If I could turn back time I wish I would have handled things differently I wish I would've made my parents proud but it's not too late Lena you have Aidan, make your future bright and parents proud"
Aidan closed her diary
"Why didn't you ask for my help with those people" Aidan asked
"Because she felt it was not your responsibility and she didn't want to involve you in her mess like me"