~~Carson's POV~~
The walk was silent. Walking through the lonely street for the past two minutes, we barely listened to our prominent footsteps against the tarred road. I was still figuring out how to talk to her about what I saw. I wanted to avoid sounding or looking suspicious; I couldn't jump right in without carefully thinking it over. Right now, I was more concerned with that than the silence that kept us company for far too long.
"How's the serial killer case coming along?" she asked out of the blue.
"We're still working on it."
"You're still working on it!" she backfired almost immediately as if she was waiting for that reply. And now she was standing in front of me, staring at me with an inexplicable emotion lurking in her eyes. "That's what you said the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, what is going on?"
"Li…"
"Do you now have a suspect?" she cut me off. "You seem to have forgotten how important this is to me. You seem to have forgotten how badly this case affects me. I was happy I could be of help through you and now???? Lately, you've been leaving me in the dark. Whenever I ask you about this, you always keep the conversations brief. You share nothing with me anymore. It's as if you're intentionally hiding something from me," she lamented, then paused with a hint of hurt on her face. "What is going on??" she stressed, now sounding exhausted. It was like she'd been patiently waiting for me to come clean and was already getting infuriated.
As expected, she was witty; too smart for her own good. If I wasn't careful, she could catch on in no time. I was trying as much as I could to keep her safe not knowing I was stressing her mentally all this while. Her outburst wasn't expected, but thinking back, it was well deserved. Didn't change the fact I was left awestruck to come up with a response. I wasn't expecting it but sadly, I could not tell her anything despite seeing her pain.
"We're working on it," I simply said and walked past to avoid looking directly at her. My heart thumped when I had to remain insensitive to her plea; when I had to ignore the fact that I made her sad. I was hurting just as much but knowing it was all for her greater good didn't let me give in.
When I still heard no footsteps trailing beside me as I kept walking away, I paused and turned around to see Ashley going back. I ran to her.
"Hey…hey ..where are you going?" jumping in before her, I asked.
"Home." She tried switching paths when I blocked her again.
"But we were going on a walk."
"Not interested anymore. I just wanna go home now and besides, I'd be expecting a guest," she replied, clearly disgruntled.
"Ashley I…" I tried talking her over.
"You're hiding something from me, right?"
'I'm sorry, I can't say anything,' I thought to say but found myself moping and my lips, flickering.
Po-faced, "you've changed," she said, but mostly to herself.
I felt that. It struck me. Her words that felt like arrows just pierced through my heart, making it ache more. I didn't like the direction this was heading. Her expression made it worse; she felt it deeper than how the words escaped.
"Look, Ashley, I…"
"You know what?" she looked away. "Just forget it," she concluded before brushing past me.
Turning around to her, my lips parted once more to speak but the words lost courage and retreated down my throat. I hadn't even spoken to her yet about the clip I saw and our meeting already ended on a sour note.
With eyes still fixed to her back I let out a sigh, rashly scrattling the back of my head out of peak exasperation.
~~Ashley's POV~~
I only opted for a walk because I thought to use the opportunity and have a sincere chat with him. These days, he'd been distant. We rarely talked for long whenever the topic was the serial killer case. It was safe to say he avoided speaking to me too long enough for the conversation to derail to the serial killer case and I felt something wasn't right. I had this gut feeling he wasn't being completely honest with me anytime he said 'We're working on it.' If they found the culprit, wouldn't the best thing to do be to share it with me? That'd be what any reasonable person would do to keep gaining the favor of the one they claimed to love, right? Or was I losing my charm? Was he falling out of love already that he could do just fine without me?
Breathing out audibly, I dropped to the sofa. Just thinking about it already drained my energy. Now, I was going to wait until Miss Antonia came to ask for her opinion. She always knew what to say to me whenever I was facing a struggle.
Sliding my headphones up and blocking my ears with 'em, I laid down instead and closed my eyes.
A few hours later …
Miss Antonia came around and we were already on the balcony for our session. I served her coffee and sat beside her as usual.
"Thank you," she said, reaching out for the coffee on the table. "Meanwhile, are you okay?" she inquired before taking a sip. As expected, she could sense the unusual cloudiness around my mood.
Unknowingly, I shook my head.
"Why? What's wrong?"
I breathed heavily.
"Is it your nightmares again?"
"No, they've gone on recess," I muttered inaudibly.
She chuckled.
"'On recess'? Don't you think it's a bit too much? It sounds like you're expecting it again."
I glided my butt across to the other side of the sofa; with my back resting on the arm, I then raised my eyes to her. "Isn't that what always happens?"
She took another meticulous sip before replying: "You call for them, and they come. Why then do you have an issue with that?" Then she turned to me as well.
Confused, I frowned. What did she mean this time?
"Whenever your nightmares go on 'RECESS' according to you, you always expect them to come back. And when they do, you're always disappointed. Why?"
What did she mean by "why"? Should I have been happy with sleepless nights thanks to those terrific dreams? "Should I be celebrating then?" I asked with a sarcastic look on my face.
"Should you be expecting them again then?" she returned the question, now leaving me at the shorter end as usual. With a closed-lip smile, she took another sip. Watching the way her fingers held loosely yet delicately the hand of the cup somehow trapped my attention.
"So tell me. What's up with you today?"
"It's Carson."
"Carson? What did he do?"
"He's stopped telling me things about Makayla. I can't help but feel there's something he's keeping away from me. But why?! Why would he suddenly want to leave me in the dark? Why would he just shut me out completely out of it? Has he suddenly forgotten how I suffered? Has his memories deserted his head or sum'n?!" I complained, more like vented.
"What if you're just overthinking things?"
'Overthinking things?' I never thought of that. After going thoughtful for a while, I came to a conclusion when I shook my head firmly. "No!" I mused aloud. "I even asked him directly and he didn't give me a resolute response."
"Want me to use my magic on him?" I raised my eyes to see her smiling teasingly. I huffed with a lazy smile slowly creeping to my lips. She always seemed to take nothing too seriously even when she always meant business. She had this jovial side to her that made me see her as an equal I could rely on.
"No, don't. My charm failed. What makes you think your magic will work?" I responded, going with the joke.
"My magic surpasses your charm, Ashley." Now we were chatting like friends; what we did fifty percent of the time she came for our sessions. It felt like her approach was trying to fill a void left by Makayla's death. Sometimes, I saw myself even feeling so relaxed around someone who could apparently make you want to pee in your pants. Such irony.
"By the way, ash suits you better," I commented on her shirt. I'd been looking at it for a while now, admiring how well it amplified her skin tone, and could not just hold back from saying it. I also put quite the effort into dishing out this compliment, but her reaction got me wondering whether or not I was being extra. The hints of a smile earlier on her face diminished, and now she was staring at me weirdly.
"I'm putting on a blue shirt, Ashley."
*Sigh* I almost forgot I'd put my contacts on before going on the walk with Carson. Now this was really awkward; I didn't know what else to say.
Then she giggled softly. "You think ash suits me better?" she asked with an amused smile bulging on her cheeks.
Now I just buried my head while fiddling with my fingers, feeling embarrassed. She just sounded like an older sister or aunt addressing her shy niece. She sure knew how to stir up emotions I'd normally wanna hide, but would still end up coming bare before her.
"So what do you suggest I do about Carson?" I sincerely sought her opinion.
"Just leave him be," she stated simply.
I flinched in surprise; that wasn't the answer I was expecting. "I should just leave him be?"
"Yeah, he'll come around soon."
"How certain are you? What if I give up asking and he never tells me what's going on? What then?"
"He WILL tell you someday, "she stated with solid conviction. "The Carson I've come to know will not be able to keep this away for too long. Trust me," she said, giving me an assuring look.
I didn't buy the idea completely but if she said so, I'd just go with that. I respected her already to even argue with her.
"Ashley," she called seriously as she dropped the mug down on the stool beside her chair and was now staring at me in the eye. "More than that, there's something I'd like us to work on together"
"What could that be?"
"It's something that could take time but will definitely happen as we continue to take these sessions but I want to give it a shot. I want to see how fast you can change… adapt," she stated with enthusiasm, making hand gestures.
If she was a writer, then she'd definitely know how to suck in her readers' anticipation with her choice of words. I already found myself taking random guesses which she dismissed and got my curiosity spiking further. "What then could that be??" I asked, almost whining, giving up at last.
"Getting rid of your phobia."