"Are you really seriously expecting something to happen?" His scoff rang across my ears, pulling me out of fantasy land and back into the embarrassing reality of my situation. My eyes immediately shut wide open, only to meet with his obviously mocking gaze. Still, embedded in the mockery were a pair of perfectly shaped green eyes, and once again, I found myself lost in them.
Was this what is referred to as a moment of lust?
Was this the weakness I had always read about in books?
"Did you honestly think that we were suddenly in one of those stupid romance books of yours?" He suddenly blurted, with a smile that revealed a set of perfectly formed dimples dangling from both sides of his cheeks. He took a step back, as though to fully grasp the full worth of having placed me in the most embarrassing and uncomfortable situation any female can ever be in.
A "No", followed by a rough shove away would have sufficed but as weird as this might sound, I still couldn't move. Everything this man did was... what word would be now be the most appropriate to use? Yes, intriguing. Everything he did just made me wanted to know him better and it was also, at the same time infuriating, as I am expected to... no! I must... hate his very existence.
"Like I was going to kiss you and I was magically going to realize how beautiful you are... and what?" I guess he wasn't going to allow me be the bigger person by accepting the fact that he was, in fact, actually being ignored, "...Want to actually marry you because I fell in love?" The laughter he echoed needed no expert to know it was neither genuine nor did it come from his heart.
And what did I say in my defense?
You guessed right!! Absolutely Nothing!
My lips tried forming words but my brain just remained frozen in time as his laughter echoed louder, breaking me from the spell he had on me. As I stared at him, my mind could now only replay the last five minutes over and over again, that it felt as though I just might puke. I found myself praying fervently for some god to cause an enormous earthquake, that will leave me buried forever, to happen. I wasn't religious enough and I guess that was why my prayers never actually went anywhere.
"Here I was, thinking I'd have a really boring dinner with someone that could never catch my interest." He seemed happy, too happy, if I'm to be honest, that it only further added salt to an already open wound. My pride and ego as a woman had been bruised by this man I knew absolutely nothing about. He didn't seem to be in any way interested in what I had to say, and neither was he willing to let go of the meat he just caught.
"But right now, I stand corrected because you actually caught my attention." He said, staring holes at me for what seemed like a minute, before talking a few strides back to his chair at the head of the table.
"I did?" I whispered in my head, still staring, dumbfounded, at him, as my lips hadn't yet recovered from the embarrassing shock. It felt as though time stood still and as much as I wanted to shake the last five minutes off, I just couldn't.
As though clearly reading my mind, "Yes, you did," he casually replied with a smirk that only further complimented his features.
Shit! Why do I f*cking notice this stuff?
This man, just might be the death of me.
It was annoying, I must add, but it wasn't something that could go unnoticed as well, and as much as I hate to admit it, he was actually perfect.... maybe for tonight though.
"You caught my attention by how deeply..." his emphasis was placed on the word 'deeply', and I intuitively knew where this was headed, "...you thought I would ever show interest in you." As the last word fell from his lips, he burst into a fit of laughter, and that happened to be the straw that broke the frozen spell cast on me.
"And it's funny how you think that I'd ever be interested in you." I finally blurted, taking steps away from the wall and back to my chair to have a seat.
"Oh! Really!" His eyebrows were raised but his face was still not rid of the smile lines he had on.
"And also, if you must know, I already have a fiance and we are very happy." This was the moment I knew I was going astray as the sentence, to me, didn't even come out as something I could regard as a truth.
"Of course you are." The sarcasm in his voice was clear and unmasked, as he took a sip of whatever it was that had been poured into his glass.
"Yes we are." I heard myself say, more to myself than him.
"And how did this so called fiance who is so in love with you feel about this arrangements you've made with my parents?" He asked, gently dropping the glass on the table and staring right at me with an unwavering gaze,
"Arrangements?"
"I could see you are struggling a lot financially... not just you, it's actually the entire family and you lot must have seen an easy way out, right?" He smiled, but his eyes... they felt different but then again, it was dark and my sight could be playing tricks on me.
"Don't insult me, Damien."
"Insult you?" He giggled even louder, "You have already been insulted by being born in my lifetime."
The blood that flowed through my veins only transported undiluted anger; but this anger wasn't at him as it was directed at me. I caused this upon my self. I gave him the upper hand and allowed a moment of weakness ruin everything.
Very quickly, the anger dissolved into guilt.
I love Marcus!
I still do and I know I'll always will.
Marcus' name isn't even up for discussion but now, this guilt was gradually suffocating me out of my own oxygen.
How was I to confidently look at Marcus now? He has been patiently waiting for a response, some sort of explanation as to what in the actual fuck was going on, and now, this!!
Should I just cover everything up and act like this never happened?
To be fair, nothing actually did happen, but wouldn't it be a lie and one of the easiest ways to destroy someone's trust?
Should I try being truthful about it all and stand him also not trusting me anymore?
What exactly is my game plan?
"I think you should be going now." He said, probably pissed off by my silence, but then again, it wasn't like I had so many things to say anyways, and so I nodded in understanding.
As I picked up my bag to leave so as to figure out my next right move, "And I'm also going to assume this deal of a marriage would be called off by morning," he blurted, looking right at me.
"Wouldn't that be your job?" I asked, getting genuinely worried about how my parents would handle this news and the best possible way to also go about it.
"If I actually could get my parents to back off from this annoying time wasting shit, don't you think I would have done that?" His sarcastic tone only grew louder with each word, "Even meeting you would be unnecessary."
"So you need me to-"
"Point of correction, please, I do not need you..." he cut in roughly, his face twisted in a frown, "...but rather, we both need you to help us get our lives back in order."
"Whatever you choose to call it is left to you but all I know is the fact that I have no intentions whatsoever of marrying you." Fulfilled that I at least get to go home with my shoulder still raised high was more than enough encouragement for me.
"I know and I'm happy to know that you are in love with your boyfriend and won't trade him for some few thousands."
"Yeah, I wouldn't." I said in a half yell, making sure he understands that we both are on the same boat.
"Bye, then." He waved impatiently at me, urging me to walk out the door.
The walk out of the room and back outside was a long, frustrating and agonizing one. I could still feel my heart pounding hard against my rib cages, but still, that didn't stop my feet from going forward.
"It is over now." I whispered softly to myself, my own foolish attempt at calming the raging storm in my heart. I still couldn't explain exactly what it was; anger? guilt? attraction? lust? or was this the love at first sight?
"Love!!" The word bounced carelessly around my head, hitting every nerve cell it could find, and simultaneously causing a soft chuckle to fall off my lips. The chuckle, soon, grew into a light laugh, that the maids might have whispered rumors of me being a mentally unstable young lady.
Well, I was, at least, out of the house and in a few minutes, I'll be back to the comfort and safety of my own home.
Funny how I just referred to a house I dreaded coming back to for the past six weeks as my safety. I guess the saying, the devil you know is much better than the angel you don't know, holds some truth after all.
"Ma'am, are you leaving right now?" A maid who was just about entering the house asked.
"Yes." I replied, not willing to engage in any extra conversation that would prolong my stay in this compound, as I glanced around for the car that had dropped me. At this moment, a silly thought ran through my mind but I was quick to shove it aside with the reassurance that it was only proper to go back home in the car that had brought me.
"Where is my ride?" I forced a smile on my face; an attempt of mine at not sounding like one of those mean bosses I watch in dramas and read about.
"I can't seem to find it." She stared uncomfortably at me and that only further heightened the fear of my suspicion actually being right.
"Could you please call it over for me? I want to leave now, please." The magic of please, I was told, makes everything sound polite. And although I was already getting visibly irritated by it all, I still felt I had spoken respectfully to the maid,as she was however just doing her job
"Master Damien already sent him away." She whispered softly as though she might be in trouble if someone heard her.
"He did what?" I wanted to scream but my voice surprisingly just came out in a barely audible whisper.