"who are you?"
Her voice sounds hoarse and small. Of course, it was because she screamed twice with a voice that was able to cover the screams of the guards' pain. The same scream that led me here.
"who are you?"
I saw her hands shaking. Even though she hasn't looked at me at all and sat in the same position from the beginning to now. But I came here to save her. I don't understand the reason behind her fear. And I want to know why.
For now, I need to calm her down, starting with answering her questions. So―
Who am I?
"I am just another sinner. A young woman at the end of her path."
Ah-, My train of thought was leaking through my mouth. It's okay. Everything is going to be okay for me and this little creature
As long as I started it, as long as I kept walking forward as my current self, I will find my answer just like how I met you.
For a madwoman like me who clings to my selfish reason. I continue.
"I am here because the higher pow-, I mean the government tried to enslave me and my people for their dirty work. I'm here as their protector for what they did in the present and as a revenger for what they did to me in the past," said me, as the devil in disguise.
I didn't want her to know that the idea of saving thousands of people from the government fuels my ego. I didn't want her to know that revenge satisfies my heart. I didn't want to admit that I might be in my rebellious phase. Hehe~
"Before I could serve my duty, I asked the governor for something interesting"
Even a person with a higher power acted the same as any other humans when they are faced with a wall that reflects their powerlessness. They are all the same things. They will all talk about their life, about where their life went wrong for them, blaming their predators and those people around their life, and another pathetic excuse to prolong their life.
I was grateful that the governor was no different from any sinners.
"Thanks to that, I knew of your existence."
Finally, I found it. That was my first thought after I found out that you existed.
"I made a deal with him so I can meet you. And here I am―"
Time to answer her question.
An answer that defines me right now. Myself that came before you to get you out of here. For you, who weren't ready to help me reach my final destination. A little angel who will take me to heaven.
I know for sure she is the one who I've been looking for.
My first step towards a new path and a single sentence that can comfort her.
"I am your savior, hehe~"
※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Her hand is still shaking.
"You don't believe me?"
No. It was the opposite of that. She was scared precisely because she believed her. What this self-proclaimed savior said on the outside was a little scary for her. Whereas on the "inside" of her―
Before she could finish what she was thinking. Her savior starts walking toward her.
"…don't come closer."
The sound of her footsteps faded from the room. She can tell that the young woman stops her movement in confusion.
"Are you scared of me?"
She gave her a yes or no question. But none of the options was the right answer for her. After all, she never had a clear answer in her life. What makes it different now? Then, how should she answer the question?
As long as I started, . . .
"i was happy that you come."
She ignores the intent of the question in hopes of getting an answer.
"i truly believe that you are my savior."
She starts to speak from the bottom of her heart. The core of her complicated feelings.
"i knew… you calmed me down… and really trying to give me comfort. i knew... i knew... i..."
She didn't know how to continue her words. She never had someone help her to release her mental stress.
"i'm sorry."
She apologized for not being able to answer her questions.
"i'm sorry"
She apologized for wasting her time to be her savior.
"i'm sorry"
She apologized for no reason
"I'm so sorry."
She apologized for repeating her apology.
"I see, so that's why."
With pride in her word, the savior is walking forward toward her again.
"stay away."
"It's okay. Everything is going to be okay."
What her savior said couldn't touch beyond the little girl's shivering skin. She was busy looking for a way to avoid an eye contact. If she and her savior make eye contact, then . . . then . . . /+=-0-|――
Not again. No no no. NO. Not this again. ―Don't want this. ――Don't want that. again. again. NO NO NO.
――I DON'T WANT TO KILL HER.
"DON'T COME CLOSER!"
Her scream pierced the air. Her head is in agony from the crushing thought of something that hasn't happened. As a response, she has her hands wrapped around her head as if it is a blanket that can soothe her.
She can only beg the young woman not to let that happen.
"Stay away!"
" I understand what you feel. What you feel is not as simple as fear, right?"
It's fear, obviously a fear. There's nothing more to understand. It's just a fear. Simple yet a very complicated feeling that makes you feel confused. And that confusion messed you up on the inside. What else could she understand?
"It's a guilt, wasn't it?"
. . .
"Judging from your choices of words. It's not a fear of something you didn't know."
It is fear. Just a fear . . . fear of . . . of . . .
Ah, she saw it. She's finally seen the error of her shallow view of her emotions. She closed her eyes for too long that she forgot to face the core of her fear in front of her eyes.
"The core of your lingering fear is the guilt from your divine power."
For the first time in her life, someone lures her to embrace the darkness.
"You kept repeating your apology but little did ya'know, a human's proclivity to apologize is usually associated with dispositional guilt." As she said this, the distance between their feet is an inch away.
Her savior put one of her knees to the ground, leaned forward to her and continues speaking.
"From the way every part of your body tried to close yourself like a cocoon, you just didn't want to accidentally kill me with your divine power and add me to your pile of guilts. Am I correct?" she asked again and again just to make sure. Doesn't matter if it's repeated until its rots, like the corpses around them.
Reminded of her guilt, she reflexively begged her with the same request.
"STAY AWAY!"
"You barely can speak because of your sore throat when we first met. And now you can scream like that. It's because a person with divine power has the ability to heal those pain much faster than any human being. But there's one more thing that can confirm the existence of your power."
Her savior gently grabbed both of her hands and moved them away from her head like opening a present. And finally giving her the last push,
"Look at me, now"
A sentence like a single string of a puppet is lifting her chin, showing her the look of a savior. Just a young woman who has been bathed in blood smiled before her. Her blonde hair was neatly braided but was the polar opposite of her overall tattered upper clothes. A dark room with the only light source coming from the top corner of the room makes it difficult for her to take a good look at her appearance except for her upper body.
At that moment, she understood one thing about the beauty of life for the first time.
It is often in the darkest skies that we see the brightest star.
With both of her eyes open, she saw it in that young woman's left eye.
She unknowingly embraces the darkness that embellished the light shining from the woman's pupil. Her red iris enhances the sanguine gaze of the star. Like a blood moon in the sky.
The young woman had a smirk on her lips after getting her confirmation. A colored eye that shines in the dark with a beauty that rivals the most beautiful gems in the world.
They both have a divine eye of different colors because the color depends on the reflection of what their hearts desire. Her savior has this to say about her divine eye, "The color of your right eye is gentler than mine."
They both stare at each other with their own majestic eye that can take people's souls and what's terrifying is that could literally happen. But―
"See, I'm still alive."
Distracted by her captivating eye, she's late to notice the miracle of that moment. She realized the presence in front of her was smiling at her; staring back at her with lively eyes. Her wrist can sense the warmth of her skin. The kind adult's souls, mind, and heart are still intact within her.
An existence that shouldn't be possible for her to see.
The realization made her face feel funny from the unfamiliarity of her expression. Her eyes widened and felt watery, along with her slow tentative smile.
Her right eye let out a tear. Her tears kept flowing. Letting it all out. Flowing down her cheeks like a waterfall. Finally, a tear that could match the color of her right eye.
Time seems to go by slowly after she realizes her dream has become the present. A dream to be freed and a future in a place where she can belong. A blessing from the red moon. This is the first time―
"This is the first time someone has looked at me with that face, hehe~." Her savior interrupted her thought.
She wiped the little girl's tear and said, "C'mon, spread your wings, and let's get out of here." She stood up and stretched out her arm with an open hand. "Say, what do you want after we get out of here?"
Immediately the little girl accepted her hand and answered her without any hesitation.
"I want to eat bread. I want to drink clean water. I want to wear a beautiful dress. I want to live in a mansion. I want to sleep in peace staring at the mo―No, I want to sleep on the surface of the moon. I want to go to the moon. I want―"
"Hold on, hold on. I don't have that much luxury."
This small cute creature was a little too excited by the thought of freedom that lay in front of her. This made her lack awareness of how unattainable the dream she said was. So much she wanted to do in the future. As they walked down side by side on the corridor―with the little girl on the left while the kind adult on the right, that small cute creature had abbreviated her early Christmas wish to her Santa that she wanted now. A wish that contained the future she so desperately desired to be the present, has already become the present.
"For now, I just want to hold hands beside you like this.
"I want to love someone dearly, so I can hug them, play with them, smile with them. I want to smile and make the world a better place. I want to be like you in the future. So please," Her voice shrank and she looks at her savior with puppy eyes―"don't leave me."
"I won't, my little angel," the savior said with her gentle voice. The little girl has a genuine smile on her face after she got the answer that she wanted from the only adult who had ever given her comfort in her heart.
"Ah! I forgot to tell you my name from the start. My name is Koko, and your name is?"
"My name? My name is . . . er."
She paused for a moment. The little girl averted her eyes from her. She wrinkled her nose. The movement of her eyes looked like she looking for something and her gaze seemed unfocused.
She unknowingly had given her the answer.
"You don't know, huh?"
"Sorry."
"No, no. There's no need to feel guilty over this small thi. . . Ah! I guess It's natural to feel that way . . . as long as it's harmless." Koko tousled her hair after asking her not to apologize. Ironically, she now felt like that as well.
"Argghhh, I'm being stupid here, Sorry, little one. Hehe~," she said with her favorite speech patterns, making clear the awareness of her apology. It didn't take a second for her to move on from it.
When the little girl made eye contact with her again, Koko had her focus on her long white hair that covered her shining eye, the same right eye when the little girl told her dreams. Along with a cheeky smile on her savior's face, she suggested,
"How about Tenten? It's a cute name for a little angel like you."
Sooooo effortless. Her mind is quick to judge the childish name. A woman named Koko just gave her a name with two repetitive syllables.
"What do you think?"
"It's―"
'It's lame' was her thought that should have come out through his mouth. What comes out instead was a different response in the form of a small tears. A tear that never dries.
She hides her face to wipe her tear. Although it was a little late since Koko already gave herself a pat on the shoulder. "Hehe~."
She could only puff out her cheeks in rebellion against the embarrassment. It annoyed her, but it got her thinking since she's always smiling and has a mischievous look on her,
Tenten wonder what her embarrassed face will look like.
"Hey, you haven't told me how you feel about it. C'mon~, tell me. Hehe~"
There was no point for her to overthink it since she was terrible at responding.
Just let her heart pour out everything. But―
"Tenten is happy, Tenten is sooooo happy. because umm . . ."
―She faced a familiar problem.
It's easy to say that she just needs to say what's in her heart. But her mind would always intercept her, telling herself not to just tell it like when she told her about her dream. She wants to express it along with her ulterior motive.
She needs a response that could fulfill her greed. To satisfy her curiosity. To find the solution within herself. To understand herself―
"who are you?"
Eh?
Her thought suddenly derailed into a certain moment of time. When her eyes were still closed. At the end of her isolated life.
At the beginning of their fateful meeting.
Who are you?
A voice from the past was colliding with her present thought.
She remembered the ringing in the ears and the tickle in her brain as if ants were walking on its surface. The same thing happened when the adults were around when she closed her vision from the devil's toy before she passed out for good―or maybe her brain was trembling because of the physical pain in general. Or when she tried to sleep back when all of her friends were still alive. Many theories that she made to make rational of this unwelcomed sensation, but it didn't take long for her to realize the miracle that was bestowed upon her.
Only when she closed her eyes, the imagery from the divine can be seen. The image is in the form of a book inside the human head that she can read. So when she 'read' the adults, it's like reading science books full of difficult words she was never aware of. It's one of the abilities of the divine power she had.
Back to the present. What does it mean? Why is it resurfaced now? How does it solve anything? And why did she remember the start of their first meeting?
As long as I started it . . .
. . .
She was looking at the starting line.
She wanted to know how to start her genuine speech. She unconsciously looked back to the beginning where it all start.
Immediately, she found the reason for her questions. She simply realized that her heart and mind were already synchronized from the very first time they met.
In the past, her mind read it and her heart took her words.
While in the present, her mind realized the importance of the words while her heart gave her the encouragement at the right time to say it at the right moment.
As long as I kept walking forward . . .
All of those realizations are now the fuel to keep going. The past, the encouragement, and the balance of both of her own world unites and becomes the thing that is most needed now. And that thing is self-honesty.
As my current self . . .
It's impossible to identify yourself as a whole. Or else, she will trap her thoughts in a paradox. All she needs is to understand her current self in this moment of gratitude. And―
I will find my answer
just like how Tenten met you, right?
She held Koko's hand tighter and stopped her movements while turning her back against the tall, squared windows―so that a glint of light from the glass can clearly show the face in front of her.
Now, with her long white hair shining in the moonlight, the little angel sent her messages to her loved one.
――To this young woman,
"To meet you, a person like Tenten happen to be a beautiful person."
――To this kind adult,
"To be comforted and to be showed a place where Tenten can truly belong."
――To her savior,
"To be saved by you, a human who gave birth to this happy me."
――To an enigma named Koko,
"Thank you sooooo much, Mama!"
She stares at her mother's face with anticipation. Her face looked surprised with her mouth slightly open―since Tenten's compliments coming out of nowhere. Still, it isn't the face she was looking for. The face she wanted to see was from her response.
"Hahaha, so you are my baby, then?"
"N―,No. That's not the―"
"Hahaha, you're a funny kid, ya know?" she said, while she crouched down so one of her hands can pinch her cheek and the other still holding Tenten's hand.
Sadly, Tenten is the only one who put on that blushed face. Frustrating, indeed. Yet she didn't regret saying it.
She can only admit defeat in dissatisfaction. Or so she thought.
I'm so glad―. A ticklish feeling in Tenten's head, a hidden word inside of a person who always speaks without thinking. This could be the first time she was happy with her power. "Ehe~"
"What? Is there something in my face?"
"Nooothing~," Tenten teased her.
Mama was just not honest, she smirked; overflowing with satisfaction. Her mannerism just now was clearly imitating a certain person, like a duckling following their mother. Koko wasn't so dense and took notice of this change of familiar personality, so she asked,
"Say, what part of me you wanna become?"
"A hero. I want to be a hero like you, Mama." An expected answer from a child.
Hearing that, Koko positioned herself by squatting to adjust their height, so they can stare at each other with their resolve clashing. She raised their hands that were still holding each other to the front of their chest, with the other hand joined in to hold the back of the little angel's hand. Now, it's time to answer her prayer.
"I will grant your wish.
"I will raise you as my kid if that's what you wish for. Together we will protect each other, and find peace within each other. I will feed you, give you water, a home, proper clothes, and everything to keep you alive. And when you are alive, we will walk a lot like this in a much cleaner place. If you ever feel scared, I will be there for you. If you can't sleep, I will give you a lot of hugs every night. As a return, you shall fulfill my dream too, stay alive for me, keep shining, show me your smile, for today, tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, show me the proof that you are still alive. For you my only little angel, and for me your only savior. I will be your mother and take a close look at your growth till the end of my life. Until you are ready. Hehe~.
"This is my hero story. And one day, I will help you to create your own."
In a murky corridor full of corpses from the deeds of her savior, her future flashed in a second. The little angel's other hand held the back of her savior's hand. She accepted the heaven that was offered, a future like a light that she cannot see, and she embraced it with an open smile.
"It's a promise, Tenten."
"Yes, promise."
And thus, a promise was made under the red moon.