Myrah's POV
Peace of mind is like a butterfly. It evades you more and more, the harder you try. However, if you divert your focus to anything else, it approaches and gently rests on your shoulder.
My entire life, for the previous five years and especially the past month of my marriage, has been spent looking for happiness.
To win over my family, I made an effort to win their love once more and share in their joy, but in the end I ended up becoming even more hurt and depressed.
I came to the conclusion that maybe I was trying too hard with Valentino. I tolerated all of his mood swings and awaited his laughs, jokes, and daily hello every day. I started him when he didn't give me any of those, simply so he could at least communicate with me.
I wished for happiness with him. I wanted him to respect me and include me in his joy. I understood that only one side was making any effort.
Even so, was it worth it? In only another eleven months, we will be strangers. After this year, I intended to move far away and reestablish myself independently. What purpose would it serve to try to build a relationship that would eventually fall apart and shatter my heart once more?
It was time for me to put my attention on myself and transform into the person I had dreamed of becoming five years prior, when I had everything.
It was not going to help me in the slightest to create my future, to cry myself to sleep, and to crumble at every sour word spoken to me. Everything was depressing me. I aimed to treat my father's daughter better. Because I believed he was watching over me from heaven, I wanted to make him proud.
I was brave to allow Valentino to get near me. I believed he was concerned. He seemed worried as he followed me into my bedroom. He complimented me and embraced me in a way no one else had.
I went completely insane when he kissed my neck. The situation was joyful and bizarre. He made me feel the alleged butterflies and made my knees weak. I didn't want him to stop because it felt so incredible and fantastic. I expected more from him. Even if it would only be for a few minutes, I was willing to give myself to him.
Because I selected it, I felt every moment and had no regrets about any of it. Even if he was simply using me, I still wanted it. I was willing to let him use me until he realized I was at least as good as Caylee, if not better, but I embarrassed myself instead.
Less than an hour after he had been with me, I saw him make love to Caylee, and that's when reality hit me. He would never be mine, and I wasn't prepared to let him hold me and give me a passionate kiss with the same hands and tongue he would use on another woman.
Even though I was aware of his love for Caylee, I had hoped he would at least show me some respect for the day. He was in such a state of desperation that he had to excuse himself from the group and go take care of Caylee and himself.
My life was dramatically altered when I noticed them panting and riding erratically on the table. I was no longer going to be the one chasing after him or pleading with him to touch me and pay attention to me.
He had to understand that I was worth more than that, and he would have to make the first move if it meant ever reestablishing contact. I had stopped working on us. He would have to do all the work and put me first if he wanted our relationship to succeed.
I did not despise him. He was a decent guy; therefore, I wouldn't ignore him or wish him bad luck. I merely established boundaries by drawing a line.
I had to force myself to remove and return the wedding ring he had placed on my finger since I had grown attached to it. I didn't want to let him feel like he had power over my life and that he was the only one who could do whatever he wanted.
I put on the ring that my father had given me as a gift just a few days before he died. It was one of my most prized possessions and was very important to me. Wearing it made me feel secure and reminded me of his presence. I really did miss him.
I moved towards the main sitting area, where Valentino was seated and typing away on his laptop. He was an honest and diligent individual.
He immediately shut off his laptop when he noticed me and stood up while removing his red hooded t-shirt. He looked fantastic in red, and I was envious. Any color he wore looked fantastic, but there was something special about red.
He put his laptop on the table and cordially greeted me, saying, "Hi, Myrah." He has been polite ever since I discovered him and Caylee having sexual relations.
He continued, commenting on my outfit, "You are looking lovely today." I made an effort to choose a respectable outfit before I met my father-in-law.
"Your appearance is not poor. I told him, "You look good in red," and he grinned at me. He was adept at making me feel uneasy.
Valentino glanced out the window as we heard a vehicle pull into the driveway. He embodied the word "grace" in all senses. He was so effortlessly charming; would I even be able to stay focused on my objectives?
"I see him." I softly nodded in response to his request to go, and I followed his lead.
At the door, Julius Alexander was already there, his trademark grin lighting up his beautifully aging features. He shared many traits with my father, which warmed my heart.
Then, after speaking with his father, Valentino gave him a hug. When he saw his father, he was grinning and appeared to be pleased. Particularly in their eyes and hair, they shared similarities.
"Myrah," Julius gave me a hearty hug and kissed my cheeks before saying, You seem smaller than I remember. I was surrounded by a clearly high-end fragrance, and I was reminded of my own father by the love and compassion in his touch.
It was just a bizarre migraine, but I'm OK now. I grinned as he let go of me and handed me a bouquet of recently picked lilacs. "It's good to meet you, Mr. Alexander"
Newly chosen for the lovely lady. He grinned at me and added, "I hope you like them."
Like? I cherish them. I appreciate it, Mr. Alexander.
Come on, sweetie. You can call me Dad or Julius. Val wouldn't mind, I'm sure. Okay, Son? Putting his hand on Valentino's shoulder, Julius said.
"Sure". While not? With a tinge of doubt in his eyes, Valentino said.
As we walked back to the lounge, we engaged in a small discussion. Like his son, Julius had a pleasant personality. Well, sons and fathers are alike. If only he were my father-in-law for life. He gave me a sense of security.
Julius inquired about my wellbeing, the state of the world, and how his son was treating me. I completely modified the facts and just offered compliments since I couldn't tell such a nice father that his son had been a jerk to me for more than three-quarters of the time I had known him.
"Myrah, let me start by apologizing for the entire wedding". Every woman has the right to select her life mate, but you were thrown into this union at a moment's notice, Julius said as he clutched my hand in his and apologized. I was sitting next to him on the couch.
I don't even know how to express my sincere apologies to you in the correct way. We abandoned the life you likely planned in order to get money.
Don't say that, please. It's just OK.
"I hope this marriage did not in any way harm your life. You'd make a great daughter-in-law, and if Val hadn't fallen in love with Caylee Facer, maybe you two wouldn't have to divorce, but we can't change the situation, can we? He spoke kindly and subtly. He spoke with much knowledge.