I stared at Eli and his grandfather while stupidly standing immobile like a tree, for what seemed to be more than two minutes. My thoughts, out of my control, were spreading in my head so intensely it made me dizzy. Loud and chaotic, I think they could hear what was going on inside my mind too.
As I pinched the tip of my nose and frowned my eyebrows, I tried clearing my head in a logical and radical way. Maybe as a sort of reassurance, I told myself what seemed to be the truth.
Certainly, I didn't want to kill a human being. But what remained of Eli's grandpa was no longer human… He was already gone, dead. I wouldn't have to kill a human. It was just a Brillante. A disgusting, weak and ugly Brillante. Yes, that's the truth… Right?
Still unsure, I sighed as I turned my head toward Eli again. The expression on his face was saddening. It was like a mix of all the remorses, fear and anger he felt. At this moment, I felt bad for him. As they say, the bright personalities suffer the most. I decided to break the silence and started speaking, my voice sounding rusty after staying mute for so long.
"Are you sure you want me to do this?"
He gazed at me. In his deep brown eyes, I could see despair, yet his mind would not budge that easily. No matter how painful it was.
"Only if you agree to."
His voice was still shaking. I felt my heart ache. It was as if I was sinking in guilt for my actions, though I haven't done anything yet. I hated this feeling. But… regardless of my personal feelings, I had to see more from his perspective.
I was an 'infected', and he was just a mere human.
Eli needed my help. He didn't have enough strength to do it himself, and this whole issue had to be solved quickly. I was the only one able to help in this complicated situation.
I had to make up my mind. I will kill it, I had to. I don't have anything to lose anyways, I was barely human anymore. I was not happy, but I had to take responsibility in this messed up situation we were all in.
"I'll do it." I said, my voice hardly noticeable.
Surprised, Eli took a few steps back. His eyes trembling and his hand shaking, he looked like he didn't believe me. Many times he tried saying something, his mouth bubbling up like a fish. But when he finally tried speaking up, not a single sound would come out. I continued;
"Is there a weapon I can take to do it? I don't want to kill it with my bare hands if you know what I mean."
"O-Oh yeah, right. Hum."
He started looking at his surroundings, but I could see he wasn't all there. He probably needed some time to calm down. I would be insane to do it while he's that mentally unstable.
"You know… Maybe we can do it later? I'm pretty tired from everything that happened and I want to prepare myself before doing it."
Fortunately, the panicked boy in front of me seemed to calm down a bit and shook his head in agreement. With his hesitating voice, he replied;
"Mh-hm. I need… some time to process everything and stuff… I didn't think you would actually agree, y'know."
Without saying more, he left the pitch black room with the speed of light, leaving me all alone with the old man. Though I got shivers hearing his rough breath and I hurried to leave too.
.
Sasha spent around a month staring at the void and having a blank mind.
However, from time to time, she could hear faint voices echoing from far away. They were her companions' voices. She didn't understand everything, but she still gained a lot of useful information from them. She could easily remember one night in particular.
It was a bit more than a month ago, when Yuri had just woken up from his coma. Sasha was sitting on a rock, staring at the ground, when she heard them talking about something. As she listened to the words, she felt something boiling inside her. Someone had mentioned the word 'Brillante', and she would get a wave of deep anger and regret.
In some ways, she was glad a Brillante showed up that night. A few days ago until now, she had a weird feeling, like the urge to get revenge. At first she would deny it, it wasn't like her. But now, she couldn't care less.
As they waited for the monster to show up, all they could hear were their breaths and the loud thunder of their heart.
And then, the girls saw it. Glowing in the dark with a greenish light, the overwhelming stench of death flowing from its tall white body and its empty black eyes digging in its face, the Brillante was in front of them. Although she thought she was ready, Sasha started shivering and shaking. The fear and disgust was the same as the last time. In those empty eyes, she could see the desire to kill, thirsty for blood and despair from its prey.
Lilianne stepped back at the view of the monster, letting Sasha do what she had to do.
The young woman could never be the same anymore. That night, she died with her family. Imprisoned in this damned world, only her empty shell was still moving . Without them, how could she be alive? She didn't have anything to protect anymore, all she could do was endlessly kill every Brillante that would sadly get in her way.
Resolved, she wasn't scared a bit. With a movement full of confidence and determination, she took a brick on the ground. And then, with all the strength from the anger, hatred and sadness she held deep inside her heart, she threw brick at the Brillante.
During the few seconds when the brick was in the air, everything suddenly seemed to be in slow-mo. The flying rock standing mid-air, Lilianne starting to run in her direction, the Brillante barely moving. It was all like an action movie. She couldn't hear anything, she was now in a different world.
And then, she saw her family again. Her three lovely brothers, her kind mother and her supporting father, they were all looking at her. But tonight, they were smiling. A sad smile, but still a smile. And in this sight, she also saw someone else. Someone who was with her all along, someone she had to protect. Someone she forgot all this time.
Yuri.
As the heavy brick hit the Brillante right in its biggest eye, a loud noise echoed and a feeling of purity and relief took over her. Everything seemed clear, bright, even though it was still night. Even the Brillante wasn't ugly anymore. She felt peaceful. She realized that, the night they died, she stayed alive. And she lived for a reason.
She had someone to protect, she wasn't alone. She could never come back to the past, she would never be the same again, but she still had another purpose in life. She was a new person and a new future was awaiting for her.
With a creaking scream, the Brillante fell on the ground and started melting. Standing in front of the corpse, Sasha finally, after so long, felt alive. She could feel her blood still boiling, her heart beating like it wanted to get out of her chest, her deep and long breaths, she could feel all of it again. She could also feel something, warm and wet, dripping from her face. With a strong voice, she announced to her friend;
"Let's join the others."
.
A day passed by since I took the decision to end the old man's life. To be honest, my mind was already decided so I didn't need any time to 'prepare myself'. But Eli did.
When we came back from the room, he didn't say a word, not even a lame joke. He was seriously getting prepared. For my part, I couldn't tell Jay about it. Although Eli didn't tell me not to do it, I felt as if I shouldn't reveal anything. All I could tell him was "He's thinking about it." and he just nodded.
This morning, though, Jay came to me and asked me a surprising thing.
"Are you sure you want to do it?"
"What?"
I was caught off guard, and my voice sounded louder than it should normally be. It was kind of funny for some reasons. Thinking back at it. But Jay wasn't laughing.
"Ah… So you know."
"Yeah, Eli told me. I didn't really ask for it but he still did."
I laughed a bit.
"Don't worry. I'm all good, but why are you so worried about me?"
Jay seemed to be taken aback, but still answered me like it was the most obvious thing in the world;
"Because your feelings also matter."
Oh damn, I didn't expect an answer like that. It kind of moved me. My heart felt weird for a few seconds, if I can be honest. I thanked him, he truly was a kind person.
But in our sweet, lighthearted moment, someone interrupted it.
A man in a black suit approached us and told me I had to go.
Eli was ready.