He slowly and gently turned me around and took off his shirt to try and a top the blood . He kept me on his lap . And held me tight . There were now people around ,I was getting tired and my eyes were getting heavy and slowly shutting down . " No No ,open your eyes baby and stay with me " He said that and I looked straight into his eyes ,his tears were falling onto my face .
This bright light appeared ,it was my mom ." I- I am tired " I said those words to my mom . She just looked at !e and smiled " You will be fine baby ,you are a fighter and shall survive this . After all this you will find yourself my love and shall be rid of all your worries ." she said those words and I listened to the attentively . When I slightly opened my eyes Musa was smiling to keep me strong .
" Mother the-the pain, it's too much " I was running out of breath and the pain was too much. Musa was a little confused but just keep on holding me . " Jesus shall fix you and your life " I could hear my mom's voice from afar . " Sing it for me " I begged her . " Fix me Jesus ,fix me ...Ohhh fix me Jesus ,fix me ... oh lord I need you to fix me " She sang it the same way she used to in the kitchen preparing that Sunday lunch . I could hear her sweet melody ringing in my ears ,she distracted me from all the pain and crazy thoughts I had . She sang for me until the ambulance arrived . I really felt my mother's presence and her love all around me. I slowly shut down my eyes .
One thing my mom had was a great voice . I could listen to her anytime, every day . It was soothing to my soul and relaxed me . It was so powerful that it shifts my focus from the pain and I only focused on her voice . I slowly drifted away and went lights out . I slightly opened my eyes ,it was all blurry ,and misty ." Mama am I ...in heaven ?" I asked that slowly ,because my throat was dry and there was just that pain . After sometime I received and answer ," Girl opens your eyes ! " That response actually made me smile through my pain .
I opened my eyes , on the side of my bed Lwandile was staring at me ,and his eyes were telling a tale ,they were red and puffy . " Didn't your parents tell you man don't cry ? " I said that and I saw a smile on his face . " How are you feeling? " I just nodded . He was fussing over me and everything . He offered me some water and it really helped . He went out to call the doctor . And I don't know if it was a coincidence or what ,but Doctor Nate entered through that door . He was glad to see me up and alright .
He did a checkup and seemed that everything was fine ,just that I'll be left with bad scarring . I was amazed at a kiss he left on my cheek ,and Lwandile just gave that look ." So the doctor gives his patients kisses now ? " He asked that while heading to the door ,showing me he will be back . I relaxed my body and went over the event that landed me in hospital . I was sure I was going to die ,the pain was too much . Even then I was bandaged around my waist and it was painful . Whilst still caught on my thoughts Musa came in . When he saw I was awake he ran up to my arms .He gave me a tight hug ,he held on me f dear life . " Ouch " I hinted to him that he was hurting me .
He helped me shift over and he sat next to me on the hospital bed . He just looked into my eyes for some time . " I was scared ,I was going to lose you " He said that with so much sincerity . I was glad to hear those words ,they meant a lot . " I have never felt like this for anyone else . I admit to have had girls in my life ,but you just so special and I had been going crazy not knowing whether you will come back to me " He said that trying hard to hide his tears from me . I stretched my hand to wipe his tears and just smiled because I was speechless after the words he had just said . For the first time I was in love .
He brushed my cheek and leant forward and tried to kiss me ,but I gave him my cheek . " I haven't been out of this bed for a bath . I was embarrassed ,I hadn't even brushed my teeth . " Like seriously , you could stay a whole year without a bath ,but I'll still do this " He leant forward to kiss me ,with his soft but masculine lips . After some time I broke it off ," but a year though without bathing, baby that is just gross and wrong " I said that and we both broke down with laughter .But all that laughing cause my wound to pain all over again . Through our laughs he slipped up some words ." I love you Miss Mkhize " they made my heart skip a bit .
After he said those words we both went silent. He looked really embarrassed " I love you too " I couldn't believe I said those words but it felt great . We just couldn't stop smiling ,he shifted me up and joined me in the bed ,and gently kept I on his chest and I felt his heartbeat . His hands were running through my hair and causing me to feel sleepy . " Oh my lady I have a surprise for you ! " He said that sitting up . Before I could question him about the surprise ,He just wrapped his arms around me ,and have me one of those heart stopping kisses, it washed the pain away .
" Hmm hmm" Someone said that and I just my kept my head on Musa's chest ,trying to hide myself from that awkward situation . "So son why are you hiding that young lady from us, you know we drove along way to see that special woman ! " That was a male's voice ,and from what he said it was Musa's dad . I went red with embarrassment . I woke up from his chest and he moved away so they could see me . " Good day " I greeted them out of respect . They both looked shocked and just froze from sometime . I knew that look ,it meant they don't like me ,or maybe think I'm not good enough for their son . His dad was breathing heavily and couldn't even talk ." This can't be the girl Musa ,no it can't be " His mom said that and it was just harsh .
I couldn't believe her words ,maybe she saw right through me and who I really was . Musa was torn in two . I think he could sense the pain that I felt at that moment I just wanted a hole that would swallow me . Lwandile came in and ,he could see right through me ." h, he, hello " He said that questioning me with his facial expression ,wanting to know what was happening . Musa just rubbed me on my back trying to reassure me .His dad was regaining his breath . He sat on the chair and he couldn't stop staring at me ,it was becoming freaky . It was clear Musa's parents did not like me ,so I was not going to have them judge me . " Lwandile please help me to the bathroom , Musa please see your parents out because when I come back I'll need to rest . It took a lot out of me to put myself together and say those words .
I got out of bed ,Lwandile ran out to get a wheel chair ,but because of my stubbornness I wanted to walk myself to the bathroom . I was now really mad at Musa for ruining a good thing we had by bringing his parents . I managed to out my feet on the ground and get ready to stand . " Let me help you my love " Musa tried to hold me ,but I just pushed him away ,I just wanted him to get rid of his annoying ass parents . I took a first step and I went crashing to the floor . To my surprise Musa's father was the first person to catch me before I hit the floor hard "My baby girl ! You got to be careful Lorna " He said those words whilst he helped me to the bed . I was confused on what was going on with that man .
After I was safe on the bed ,Musa also looked confused .His dad sat near me and he could stop brushing my hand ,looking at me ,smiling and even had years filling his eyes ." Dad what is going in here ? firstly you act as if you don't like Lorna ,then now you all over her ? " Musa asked his dad that question ,and he looked mad . " Sit down Musa " His mom said that . It as if she triggered him to carry on . " No mom ,you guys hate every girl I ever date ,now that I have found the perfect girl ,you still don't like her . Well guess what I love Lorna Mkhize and will marry her ,she will be the woman to carry all my children ,all four of them " He altered his last sentence staring right to my eyes and I just smiled because he was so sweet and that made me fall in love with him even more .
I mimed "I love you " to him . Lwandile was just leaning by the door , observing all the craziness happening in that room . " No Musa ,you can't marry her " His father said that in a low voice . " Dad please ,I will marry her with or without your blessing " He said that kissing my forehead and wrapping his arms around me .There was silence in that room to sometime " She is your sister Musa ,my one and only daughter ...my last born princess " ,those were the words of Musa's dad . I turned to look at him , my mouth was wide open and I couldn't breathe ,I thought it was because of the shock .
" I may have not been there when you grow up ,but I know everything about my baby ... you don't know how hard it has been not being able to raise you up myself" . The room started spinning and I just did not know how to react . The first thing that came to my mind is that I fell in love with my brother . I couldn't help feeling sick as I looked at Musa . He removed his hands from me we both had tears streaming down our eyes ." You lying , you are trying to break us up ,I love her how could ,how ?" He stormed off ." Musa ? " I said those words but I don't know why . " GET OUT ... GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE ! " They stood up and went out .
Lwandile stood by the door for some time . He could see I was struggling to breath and holding my tears . He ran to me with open arms and I fell straight on to them . I cried out loud ,probably wetted his T-shirt . How my life could be so screwed up . The first guy I fell in love with turned out to be my brother . I never imagined meeting my biological father in such conditions .Every time I thought of the great times I spent with Musa I cried all over again ,thinking I'll never be able to do that . Want if I had slept with him ,maybe fell pregnant. I had a lot of what if's racing through my mind . I had a headache ,so Lwandile went to get me some pills .
" I'm sorry you found out this way " Those were the words of my late mother . Seeing her just made me mad ." You love playing God with my life ruining it all. Mother but why ,why don't you love me so much . All you ever did was hurt me ,even when you dead, you are ruining my life and controlling it beyond the grave" . She kept on talking and talking .Doing what she does best first screw up my life then comes back to apologize when the damage has already been done . I tried to get out of the bed ,get away from her ,the thought of her just made me sick. I took a few steps but went to the floor with my stomach first . " Ugh " the pain became intense ,both physically and emotionally .
I just lay on that floor and my breath slowly escaping my body , my heartbeat was decreasing due to the intense pain . When Lwandile made his way to the room he tried to turn me around whilst screaming for the doctors . The stuff I put him through ,were too much . When I looked down my bandage was filled with blood . When Nate got in he started panicking ... I had to have another emergency surgery because of the internal bleeding, again I had to thank my mom for that . The only thing that realized me from my pain was the drugs and in hoping that time the Lord would be lenient and just end my life .