Unknown Place and Time
Black. It is pitch dark as far as an eye could see. There's neither sky nor land - a void where no human can breathe for even a second. A tall young man is moving forward as if an unknown compass is showing him the way.
"Maybe this is how death feels like," he mused. As he walked further, he saw a light so bright that he had to shield his eyes.
"Vathsa, you finally came," said a serene voice of a young woman. "Sorry, I forgot the light is blinding for your mortal eyes," she giggled.
He felt the light dimming and finally opened his eyes. A divine lady with a soft smile stood in front of him and asked, "Do you know who am I, Radheya Karna?" He was too stunned to speak so he just shook his head in denial.
The woman just laughed and said, "I'm the mother of this universe, Vasusena, and I'm here to give you a second chance to repent for your sins."
He looked at the deity in disbelief. Repent his sins? Washing Yagnaseni's hair with his blood a thousand times would not be enough to wash away from them. But also why only he was given the chance? Certainly, his mithra also deserved the chance and so did his brothers. What they did was heinous, but so did he.
Jaganmata noticed his turbulent emotions and spoke, "I know you feel you don't deserve redemption, but who said it's about that? It's about repentance and you pay for your deeds by correcting them. As a mother, I think all my children need a chance to learn from their mistakes."
"Thank you so much for giving this undeserving child a chance, Devi Parashakti. I'll stick to the dharma and make sure I give my best to turn Duryodhana into Suyodhana," he said, kneeling in front of the goddess.
She smiled and replied, "I've faith in you, son. All your curses are gone the moment your severed head touched the ground. You can still use the Vijaya and Asthra, as blessings cannot be taken away. But you can't get your Kavacha and Kundali as you have given them away as a charity. No one except Vasudev Krishna will know about this, and it should be kept the same way. Now do your karma, Vasusena."
"Dhanyosmi, Mata! Please bless me with success," he said as he knelt and raised his head to look at her, hands folded in reverence (A/n: like this 🙏🏼). "Vijayibhava, vathsa," the deity blessed him and his world became black.
Charioteer Adhiratha's cottage, Hasthinapur, Dwapara Yuga
15 years ago
Karna woke up in the creaking bed of his childhood home. It felt like everything that happened - him humiliating a woman in the worst way imaginable, the conversation he had with the divine mother, like a fever dream.
"Huh? Why are my arms and legs so short? I was just a few inches shy of Duryodhana's height, who was tall as a mountain. What happened to all the muscles?" he wondered, looking at his small, twig-like body. He rushed to grab a mirror and saw 12 years old him staring back.
"Hey, Surya Narayana! Why did I become a child?" he lamented. "Whatever it is, I'll take it. I will not waste this golden opportunity. I lusted after many frivolous things like honour and reputation, ignoring the most precious ones - my childhood and my parents' love. I still have knowledge of Asthras and my Vijaya, which is more than enough. I'll just say that Adi Shakti has blessed me with divine weapons," he nodded to himself with conviction.
He ran towards the kitchen and hugged his Radha Ma from behind, crying and apologising for the agony he caused.
"What happened, Putra? Why are you crying? Whatever it is, I'll forgive you. Please don't cry," she turned back and said, worried, wiping away the torrent of tears from her son's face. Her son never cried. Not even his arm broke in a child's fight. "Please tell me, son, did something happen yesterday? Did your father scold you? I'll talk to him, okay? Don't cry," she consoled, caressing his hair and cheeks. He leaned into her hug, savouring the warmth.
Radha noticed Vasusena didn't have the kundali he had since his birth. "Karna, where are your kundali?" she asked, stroking the now empty ears, making him flinch. "I- I gave them away as alms for a Brahmin, Maa," he fumbled, not daring to meet her eyes. "Karna, you shouldn't just give everything just because someone asked you! What if they ask for my life? Would you donate me?" she chided him.
Dyut Sabha flashed in front of him and he imagined his Radha Maa in the place of Panchaali. He felt even more guilty and was repulsed by himself. What the bloody fuck he was thinking while doing that?
Seeing his son's face coloured with shame, Radha consoled him, saying, "Putra, I know you're a generous person and charity is indeed a good deed. But one should always know when to draw the line. There's a saying, 'Ati sarvatra varjayet.' It means the excess of anything is bad. Saying no to an unjust and harmful request is the right thing to do."
He nodded, remembering his excess desire for recognition and ambition to defeat Arjuna as if he were the representative of all the injustice he faced because his caste led to his ruin.
Radha smiled, patting his head and said, "sit down and I'll get you breakfast. It's the first time you got up this late, and I was quite worried." "Okay Maa!", he said. He missed his mom's cooking.
"Karna, why did you hug me while crying?" she asked, as she was serving him food.
"I - I had a dreadful dream. You and father were suffering a lot, and it's because of me," he said, his shoulders slouched and head hung in shame. She never forgave him after that deceitful gamble.
"It's just a dream, Putra. See, I'm fine and so is your father. I believe in you that you'll do nothing that'd make me ashamed of you," she assured him. He gulped. "You do not know," he thought bitterly.
"Roti and Daal are quite good, Maa!" he exclaimed in delight, not wanting to think about anything else. "It's the same thing I do every day, but I'm glad you like it," she laughed. "However mature he may act, he's still a child," she thought, amused at seeing her son devouring the breakfast with such gusto.
The mother and son duo spent their day, with him helping in cooking, spectacularly failing at it, doing chores, and talking about anything under the sun. He realised his mother was quite knowledgeable about the present condition of the kingdom, political decisions and state policies. It amazed him how good she was at this. "She could rival Rajamata Kunti," he thought with pride.
As the sun sank into the western horizon, Adhiratha arrived home, witnessing his wife and son laughing gleefully and his son being disastrous at embroidering. He could hear his son whining and his wife comforting him. He stood at the door, watching their antics with a smile. There's always a struggle between him and Karna because of their ideals. His son wants to learn archery but a suta shouldn't lift weapons except for self-defence. He prayed to Surya Narayana for this happiness to last forever.
"Watching you try to sew a flower is as painful as the needle prickling your fingers, son," he chuckled, announcing his presence.
Karna rushed to him and touched his feet. He blessed his son with happiness and peace.
"Welcome home, Arya. Wash your feet. I'll fetch you a washcloth," said Radha, smiling at her husband.
After freshening up, Adhiratha took his seat on the floor beside his son where his wife served both of them a fresh dinner comprising roti, bhindi and daal. It surprised him to see his child was eating bhindi he hated so much.
"I think the sun has set in the east today, Radha. Our son is eating bindi without complaining!", he exclaimed mockingly. "Haa Arya! He never expressed his reaction to the taunts today and learned to sew! Maybe there's an earthquake coming," Radha laughed.
"Maa, Pithashree! Stop teasing me! When I don't listen to you, you say I'm naughty and when I listen, you tease me. This is so unfair!" Karna whined.
"We're happy however the way you are, Putra, but we do like this new Karna. However, do not stray from the path of dharma. That's all we ask of you," said his father, patting his son's head, looking at him with eyes full of love and warmth.
Radha's heart filled with happiness seeing father and son being together and loving. She prayed to god for this joy to last forever. "
"Wash your hands and go to sleep, Karna. It's your bedtime," said Radha. "Okay Maa!", said Karna. He wished his parents a good night and went to his room.
Lying on his bed with his arms folded under his head, he looked at the roof, thinking about what happened today and the goddess's blessings.
He would still choose Duryodhana's friendship in every life. He'd be a good friend this time and don't let his friend become his uncle's pawn in his revenge, he thought with determination.
As for the Pandavas, he couldn't care less. They may be related to him by birth, but it doesn't mean he liked them or anything. The blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb. His family comprised his parents, Duryodhana and his siblings, and Vrushali.
He made a checklist in his mind of what changes he'd make to save his loved ones from their terrible fate.
One, he'd counsel his friends not to make the same sins again, avoiding the black shadow of that crooked man, Shakuni. Second, he'll avoid his birth mother, half brothers and their biggest supporter, the man who once he loved the most, Vasudeva Krishna like a plague.
He still needed to take part in the Kala Pradarshan to befriend the eldest Gandharithanaya, he mused. However, instead of declaring enmity with his archrival, Arjuna, he'll just ignore it. Nothing good comes from making an enemy out of God's favourite human, he thought bitterly.
The Devi said that his curses were nullified, so he needs to make sure he didn't get cursed again. About Vrushali, he loved her but not in the way a husband would love his wife. He'd make things right for her. She deserved much better than being his widow.
"Okay, these are things I need to do," he thought to himself as sleep engulfed him.
Tomorrow is a new dawn.
In their bedroom, Adhiratha lay on the bed with his wife lying on his chest. He stroked her hair gently as she snuggled closer.
She looked up and asked, "what are you thinking about, Arya?" looking at her husband gazing far away without focus.
He smiled at her and replied, "About our hot-headed Vasusena. What could have made him change completely? It's like he's a new person. Not that I'm not happy with it. It's a welcoming change, but did you notice the sadness and hope in his eyes? Those are the eyes of someone who lost everything and had time to get them back. Did he say anything to you, Priye?"
"You're right, Arya. He missed this morning's Surya Namaskara because he woke up late. He said he had a terrible dream where we were in grief. I don't know what he saw in those dreams, but I hope it'll not haunt him forever," she said.
The couple prayed for their only child's happiness as they went to sleep.
Tomorrow is the new day.
Same time in Vrindavan, Mathura, Dwapara Yuga.
The moon is shining round in the sky, soaking the night in its silver glow. A tall kid is lying on a sturdy tree branch with a flute in his hands. His skin was dark like rainy clouds and his lotus eyes hid the universe inside him.
He looked at the bulky boy with rose milk skin who was older than him and said, "tomorrow's sun is bringing a new beginning, Dau. Let's see, will it be a bright day or a cloudy one," with a cryptic smile.
Balaram got used to his brother's riddled talk. He sighed and asked, "what do you mean Krishna?", knowing well that he'd never get a straight answer. He loves his younger brother more than anything in this world, but understanding him is the most difficult thing.
Krishna just smiled and played the flute, making the listeners get mesmerised by the tune. Balaram immersed himself in the melody, forgetting about the mysterious conversation they had a few moments ago.
GLOSSARY:
• Vathsa - son. An affectionate way for the elderly to address young men or boys
• Yagnaseni - another name for Draupadi, fire-born daughter of King Drupada of Panchaala
• Jaganmata - goddess of the universe. Manifestation of feminine energy
• Vasusena - another name for Karna which means "born with wealth"
• Mithra - friend
• Adi Shakti - primal energy, another name for Jaganmata
• Devi Parashakthi - another name for Jaganmata
• Dharma - the eternal and inherent nature of reality, regarded as a cosmic law underlying right behaviour and social order
• Asthra - Weapons
• Kavacha - armour
• Kundali - earrings
(in this context, they refer to the impenetrable armour and earrings Karna got from his celestial father, Surya Narayan (sun god), which he gave as a charity to Indra, King of the Gods and the ruler of Swarga Loka(heaven) before rebirth)
• Vijaya - celestial bow Karna got from his teacher, Sage Parashurama, before his rebirth
• Dhanyosmi - means "I'm thankful/grateful". used to address elders or people in authority
• Vijayabhava - may you be victorious. Given as a blessing
• Maa - mother, an affectionate and informal way of addressing
• Putra - son
• Panchaali - another name for Draupadi
• Roti - Indian flatbread • Daal - Indian tempered lentil soup
• Rajamata - Queen Mother
• Suta - a subclass of the working class, Shudra who work as charioteers
• Arya - a formal and respectful way of addressing their husband
• Surya Narayana - Sun God and king of the celestial planets
• Pithashree - father, a formal and respectful way of addressing
• Gandharithanaya - son of Gandhari, Queen of Hasthinapur
• Devi - goddess
• Priye - an affectionate term to address one's lover or wife
• Kala Pradarshan - a tournament to showcase one's talent through competitions