Shin POV
I was having a great day.
Got declared an S-rank traitor? ✅
Knocked up the strongest kunoichi in the world? ✅
About to steal a flying fortress? ✅✅
If this isn't peak protagonist energy, I don't know what is.
"Alright, troops!" I announced dramatically, standing on a tree stump. "We're heading to the Sky Village, taking their fortress, and becoming kings of the clouds!"
Kyoki raised a hand. "Correction: You are heading to the Sky Village. We are getting dragged into this nonsense against our will."
Tsunade cracked her knuckles. "He's not wrong."
"Details, details," I waved them off. "Come on, Kyoki, aren't you excited?"
Kyoki crossed his arms. "No."
Shizune sighed. "I can't believe Lady Tsunade agreed to marry an idiot like you."
Tsunade huffed. "I didn't agree... exactly."
I smirked. "Oh, you did. And remember, I'm paying off your debts, which makes me husband material."
Tsunade rolled her eyes. "It just makes you my personal bank."
"That's still a win! You get money and I got a hot wife! " I declared proudly. "Now autobots, let's roll out!"
We started walking, but not five minutes in, Kyoki nudged me. "Hey, what's your actual plan? You're not just winging it again, are you?"
I stared at him in mock offense. "Kyoki! I'm hurt bro. Do I look like someone who makes reckless, last-minute plans?"
Kyoki didn't hesitate. "Yes."
Tsunade and Shizune nodded in agreement.
"Whatever," I scoffed. "Plan A: We sneak in, steal the fortress, blow up some shit, and become legends. Plan B: We blow everything up and then steal the fortress."
"...Why do both plans involve explosions?" Shizune asked, concerned.
"Because explosions are the answer to life," I said with wisdom. "Now hush, future in-law."
Tsunade muttered under her breath, "What have I gotten myself into?"
Three days of trekking later...
"Are we there yet?" I asked for the 17th time.
Kyoki sighed. "If you ask that one more time, I'm feeding you to a bear."
"I'm just saying," I continued, munching on an apple I stole from a nearby village, "if they really didn't want their fortress stolen, they should've hidden it better."
Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose. "Shin, it's floating above the clouds. That's pretty well hidden."
"Yeah, yeah," I waved her off. "Details."
Finally, after what felt like years (or maybe just more walking than I liked), we arrived at a clearing where the fortress loomed above us, a massive floating behemoth in the sky.
Shizune gasped. "It's... huge!"
I smirked. "I know. Just like Tsunade's ti...."
Tsunade punched me so hard I briefly met my ancestors. I really have to do something aabout it. But what can I do, I did got her pregnant and derailed her plot of becoming hokage.
After shaking off the stars, I looked up. "Alright, team, we're going in. Stealth mode, people!"
Tsunade frowned. "Do you even know the meaning of stealth?"
"Of course!" I declared. Then, with all the grace of a bull in a china shop, I activated my Susano'o and started launching chakra-fueled shuriken at the sky. "HELLO, SKY NERDS! GIVE US YOUR FORTRESS OR FACE THE PURE UNFILTERED WRATH OF SHIN-UCHIHA-SAMA!"
Kyoki palmed his face. "This is why we're criminals."
A few moments later, an alarm sounded, and dozens of Sky Village ninja appeared on the fortress edge, looking down at us in confusion and mild concern.
One of them squinted. "Who the hell are you guys?"
I grinned. "I'm your worst nightmare!"
Tsunade facepalmed. "You're their mild inconvenience at best."
Ouch, Friendly fire!
Suddenly, a wave of Sky ninja came down, firing off jutsu left and right.
"Alright, time for Plan B!" I shouted.
"Plan B?" Kyoki asked.
"WE BLOW EVERYTHING UP!" I cackled, tossing explosive tags like confetti.
Kyoki groaned. "Of course."
Tsunade sighed but then smirked. "Alright, fine. Let's wreck this place!"
And with that, chaos erupted.
Tsunade bulldozed through enemies with sheer brute force, sending people flying left and right. I activated Reality Rejection, erasing their will to fight with a simple phrase:
"Your dreams are stupid."
And boom—half of them just sat down in existential crisis.
Kyoki managed to subdue a few ninjas, mostly by pretending he wasn't with us. Meanwhile, Shizune actually tried to be helpful by healing Tsunade's victims before they completely died.
We reached the base of the fortress and spotted a single rope hanging down.
I grinned. "Time to climb, baby!"
Tsunade crossed her arms. "No way I'm climbing that."
"Fine," I huffed. "I'll carry you, princess."
"Try it, and I'll make you a permanent part of this forest," she said sweetly.
I grabbed Kyoki and started climbing, the rope swinging wildly. "See you at the top, Tsuna-bae!"
She groaned. "I hate you." But had a lovely smile on her face.
Once we reached the top, it was even better than I imagined. There were massive cannons, high-tech consoles, and enough luxury to make the Daimyo jealous.
"This is amazing!" I squealed. "I hereby dub this fortress... The Flying Shin-tanic!"
Kyoki sighed. "That's the worst name ever."
Tsunade arrived moments later, dusting herself off. "Okay, genius. Now what?"
I grinned. "Now? We live like kings."
Tsunade crossed her arms. "And by that, you mean?"
I smirked. "We paint flames on the side and declare ourselves rulers of the skies! And nuke Konoha !"
Kyoki groaned. "We're all going to die."
A week later, we had officially taken over the fortress. Tsunade had surprisingly settled in well, spending most of her time gambling away our stolen treasure, while Kyoki set up an elaborate escape plan (as he always assumed we'd need it).
Meanwhile, I was standing on the deck of my glorious airship, gazing down at the world like an emperor.
"This is it, Kyoki," I said, a single tear rolling down my cheek. "We've finally made it."
Kyoki sighed. "We stole a flying fortress, Shin. That's not an accomplishment; that's a felony."
Tsunade approached, arms crossed. "By the way, your 'wife' needs more money for... uh, strategic purposes."
I blinked. "Are you seriously asking me for money? Woman, I just gave you an airship!"
Tsunade smirked. "And I gave you a baby. Consider this child support."
I sighed. "Fine. But if you use it for gambling again, I'm grounding you."
Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "Oh, please. You couldn't ground me if you tried."
"Challenge accepted!" I yelled.
And thus began the greatest game of tag in the skies, with me trying to catch my pregnant wife while she chucked furniture at me.
Kyoki groaned. "Why am I still here?"
Shizune sighed. "Just accept your fate."
Raikage A, the giant muscle-bound leader of Kumo, slammed his fists on the table, cracking it in half. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY BLEW UP HALF THE VILLAGE?!"
His assistant, Mabui, sighed. "Just what I said, Lord Raikage. A single Uchiha rogue caused massive destruction. The Hokage Monument was defaced... ."
A moment of silence passed before A burst out laughing. "This is the funniest thing I've ever heard! Someone get that Uchiha and recruit him for our village!"
Killer Bee nodded sagely. "Yo, yo, the kid's got style, I ain't gonna lie, let's find him and make him fly!"
Mabui looked unimpressed. "Lord Raikage, we should use this opportunity to strike while Konoha is in turmoil."
The Raikage grinned. "Fine. Send scouts. But if you find Shin... I want him ALIVE and UNHARMED. He's a valuable ally to have."
Onoki, the elderly Tsuchikage, hovered in mid-air, stroking his beard thoughtfully. "So... Konoha is in disarray?"
"Yes, Lord Tsuchikage," one of his subordinates confirmed. "A single rogue Uchiha caused massive destruction. It's the perfect time to strike!"
Onoki frowned. "We've seen what one Uchiha can do... I'd rather not poke that hornet's nest. Have we forgotten what Madara did to us?"
"But, sir!"
Onoki sighed. "Fine. Send a reconnaissance team. If they spot an opportunity, we'll take it. But no funny business."
Temari stood outside Gaara's room, looking nervous. "Gaara... you okay in there? What did father talk to you about?"
Inside, Gaara sat in the dark, staring at the wall. "The Leaf is weak... Mother says it's time to show them fear and pain."
Temari sighed. "I'll... take that as a yes."
Hiruzen Sarutobi sat at his desk, staring at the giant stack of paperwork in front of him with the weariness of a man who had seen far too much nonsense in his lifetime. The recent events had pushed the village into a state of absolute chaos.
The Uchiha massacre? Horrible.
The mysterious, massive explosions that turned half of Konoha into rubble? Even worse.
The Hokage Monument with googly eyes? Utter humiliation.
The elders were freaking out, the civilian council was screaming for someone's head, and worst of all the other villages were watching.
A knock on the door brought Hiruzen out of his despair. The door creaked open, revealing Homura and Koharu, his elderly advisors, wearing their usual looks of disapproval.
"Hiruzen," Koharu began in her stern, nagging tone, "Konoha is on the verge of collapse! We must take decisive action against these rogue Uchihas before the other villages smell blood in the water."
Homura grunted in agreement. "We are getting reports from our spies in Kumo, Iwa, and Suna. They're salivating at the opportunity to strike us while we're weak. This destruction has made us look like fools."
Hiruzen sighed deeply. "I know, I know. But the worst of it isn't over yet..."
Danzo suddenly burst in, looking far too excited for someone who was supposed to be grieving for his village. His single visible eye gleamed with sinister glee.
"Hiruzen," Danzo rasped, "now is the time to act. We must strike against those who would exploit our weakness. And most importantly..." He leaned in. "We must acquire Shin's eyes."
Koharu raised an eyebrow. "Are you... drooling, Danzo?"
Danzo hastily wiped his mouth. "Absolutely not."
Hiruzen pinched the bridge of his nose. "And what do you suggest, Danzo? An immediate assault on Shin? He's in the wind."
Danzo smirked. "Oh, I have my ways."
Hiruzen's eye twitched. "Whatever you're planning, keep it discreet and safe, Danzo."
"Of course," Danzo said, not very convincingly.
Suddenly, an ANBU agent appeared in the room, kneeling with urgency. "Lord Hokage! We have confirmed reports that the other great villages are mobilizing their forces near our borders."
Hiruzen's face darkened. "So, they've finally decided to make their move."
The ANBU nodded. "Yes, sir. Kumo has been sending scouts deeper into our territory. We believe they're looking for any weaknesses. Iwa is bolstering their defenses, likely expecting a counterattack, and Suna... well..."
"What about Suna?" Hiruzen asked with a sinking feeling.
The ANBU hesitated. "They, uh... they've sent their Jinchuriki."
Hiruzen groaned. "Dear god, why?"
"We're not sure," the ANBU replied, "but according to our intel, the kid keeps muttering something about 'blood' and 'the fear of leaf ninja.'"
Hiruzen dropped his head into his hands. "This is bad. This is really bad."
Danzo smirked again. "Then it is time to act, Hiruzen. I say we take the offensive before they strike."
Hiruzen glared at him. "Danzo, if you even think about starting another war, I swear I'll—"
"—Do absolutely nothing because you're too soft," Danzo interrupted with a smug look. "Face it, Hiruzen. Your kindness is Konoha's biggest weakness. We need a firm hand."
Koharu stepped in. "We should at least pretend we're strong enough to retaliate. Send envoys, make them think we still have some teeth."
Hiruzen rubbed his temples, feeling the weight of the village on his shoulders. "Fine. We'll reinforce our borders and issue warnings to our shinobi. I want constant surveillance on all foreign activity. As for Shin..." He sighed. "Put a larger bounty on his head. 200 million ryo."
Danzo's eye gleamed. "Excellent."