As the days went by, we were getting closer to our set launch date and soon the whole world would be watching the skies to watch us reach beyond the stars. The days were moving fast and the final checks and preparations for the stasis pods and final testing's of the ships engines and rockets. I was doing my final checks on my division when the head of security made his way towards me. I did not want to deal with him but as second in command I have to. "Yes, Stevenson what can I do for you?' I ask him. "I need you to give up your second command seat and give it to me," he said. I looked up from my records to look at Stevens, I just couldn't believe at this stage in the game that this guy hasn't gotten it through his head that I was giving this job when I didn't want it. "Look even if I could Maxwell isn't going to have some jackass like you running shit on this hunk of metal," I told him. He glares at me and I simply went back to work.
He stormed off and I finishing check my logs and shipments. I was tired, but I had to run some test simulations and have a meeting with my sub leaders. Today was going to be another long day but it was something that I have to do, even though I didn't ask for this I did my job to the best of my ability. I went to the command center to talk to our Captain and see what our simulations had come to. "What's up captain? How are our simulations coming along?" I ask him. "Well June the simulations were 99% accurate and it came at a great time too or we would have to push back our launch date if it was anything under 95%," he said. "Captain Clint I know the other 1% means we fail, and all died in a fiery explosion," I said. He just looks at me and nods his head. I mumble great and take the controls form Clint and began my simulation. The controls are easy to handle, and I do so was ease.
I work on the simulation for a good two hours being I head Stevenson's voice call for me, I don't take my eyes of the computer screen of my simulation. "Yes Stevenson's?" I said with a hint of annoyance in my voice. "I need you to stop playing this game and look over these papers for me," he said in a condescending voice. "First this isn't a game this is one of Maxwell's newest simulations that I must do and do it perfectly and secondly those papers in your hand have nothing to do with me, it is you job to read the memo and have your team in check and really for training within the hour," I told him. I could tell from the look on his face that he was mad. "I wrote the memo next time read it instead of coming to me," I said to him. I heard him stomp away and I laugh to myself. He was a pain in the ass, and I continue with my own training.
After the simulation was completed, I went to my division and started working on my notes and projects that needed to be done and finalize before we take off to our new home on the red planet. I still didn't understand why I was second in command when I fought tooth and nail against this job. I wasn't cut out for this job and yet here I am scoring damn near perfect scores on test runs and doing well in mock drills for any state of emergency. Even if I don't like this job, I know I am good at it because when push comes to shove, I will get it done and do my best.
I sat there for what felt like hours going over the plans for colonizing mars and the future expansion plans to add more people for future trips to the planet. But before any for that could happens, we needed to get off this blue green planet that I call home. I needed a break I was taking in too much information. I walked out of my office and I saw one of my sub-leaders walking round with their head buried in a book. I walk over to them and saw that it was Ava. She looks to be reading a new manual for onsite care treatment in hostile environments. I didn't want to bother her from her reading, so I left her be until she walks straight into a wall. I watch her fall and laugh, she looks up with a blush on her face and a small smile. "Thanks for the warning boss," she says with a laugh. I walk over to her and help her up and grab her book off the floor. "What's up Ava?" I ask her. "You know the same old same old trying to improve my skills as a trauma surgeon and keeping up with the latest news and teachings, my crew and I will be the first doctors in space and we need to know everything we can in order to save a life during or trip into space and eventfully our new home," she said. I agree with her and ask her if she and eaten anything yet and with a sheepish smile she said no, and we walked together to get food and to relax our minds from work.
We got our food and ate. She asks me questions about our projects and other things. She asks me personal questions as well, wanting to get to know her division leader better. I answer all her questions expect one. She asks me about my family, and I couldn't answer that truthfully. To be told I don't have a family, well I did but they all died in a car accident and I was the only survivor, but I was a child at the time, barely three years old when it happened. I lost everything, and I was move from house to house in the foster system until a family wanted me to be a part of theirs. The people who took me in and raise me were nice and I love them like my own real family but when I try to remember and think back I can't picture my mother or my father's faces and when I see photos of them I don't feel anything like I should. I was just too young to remember. But when I do think of my mom or dad I think of my adoptive parents and my two older brothers.
But she kept on asking me questions and then we were joined by my three other sub-leaders. They all sat there quietly as the listen to Ava and I speak. After some time, it was time for us to go back to work. I didn't want to work, I just wanted to lay down in the grass in central park and feel the sun on my face and forget the world, but I couldn't. I was down in Florida working on one of the greatest missions of history. I walk into my office to find that Maxwell Davis and our captain Miles Clint were there. I wanted nothing more than to turn around and walk away from them, but I couldn't. "How can I help you guys?" I ask them. "Well we wanted to ask you if you wanted to be the head spoke person for tomorrows event?" ask Mr. Davis. I stepped back and look at him like he was on fire and had three heads. "NO!" I yelled. I could handle being second in command, but I hated public speaking with every fiber of my being. They couldn't pay me to do that. "Please June we already made mockup covers with your face on it about you being the keynote speaker," said Mr. Davis. I look at him and the cover he held up. It a candid shoot of me looking out a window in uniform with my arms cross against my chest and my short black hair comb to the side showing off the shave part of my head. Then he held of another one of me in the control simulation room where I'm at the controls. Then the last one he held up was of me when I first arrive here in black skinny jeans, a love is love white shirt and a snapback. Each of those mockups have titles on them. TIME, Nat geo and the New York times. I just stare at them in be wonderment. They actually want me to be the cover girl for them.
This was always real to me but it's getting real again. I am getting that shell shock feeling again. It was like the first day I walk thought Maxwell Davis doors and interview me for this project. I needed to sit down. At first, I was just a grad student trying to get my master then one day get my PhD then I got an interview for what I thought was a job but turned out to be a space mission to travel and colonize a different plant then I get promote to a division leader when they're better people for the job, then just a few days ago I was told that I am the second in command of this ship. These people are trying to kill me. I think I might just have a heart attack. I feel one coming on. I need to calm down and turn them down. "Look guys I can't do that, I am not capable of doing that," I told them. They just look at me. "Yes, yes you are capable of doing this June, you are a bright young woman who's quick on their feet and can think under pressure, hell your scores are damn near prefect at handling this ship and I'm that damn Captain," said Miles. "June, you have proven yourself more than once since you've been here, you have proven to me and everyone else here that you are right for the job, that is why I am asking you to do this for us, if people see how hard working you are for this and how capable you are there isn't nothing you and this program can do, please June do this," ask Maxwell.
I saw the look in their eyes. They were not only just asking me but begging me. What they said was spoken from their hearts, that they actually believe in me. I broke eye contact and looked down. they really wanted me to do this. I took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Okay, I'll do it," was all I said. I look up and saw the smiles on their face. "Alright well I got work to do and I'll just speak without any notes okay, Clint don't you have to check to engine to see if this thing can fly and Mr. Davis don't you have something to do," I ask them. They both just laugh and left my office. As soon as I close the door behind them my back hit it and I slide to the floor taking in what just happen. They really wanted me to be the cover girl for them. My breathing started getting shallow and the room was spinning. I couldn't breathe, it felt like my throat was closing and my heart was pounding against my ribs trying to break free. I couldn't breathe. What felt like hours later but in reality, three minutes later I was breathing again. I think I just had an anxiety attack.
I got up off the floor on weak legs and whip the sweat off my face. I slowly made my way to my desk to lean on it. But before I could get their Ava walked in and saw me. "June what happen are you okay?" she asks me. "Yes, I think I just had an anxiety attack that's all, Mr. Davis and Clint added more weight for me to carry and I think it finally got to me, that's all I'm fine now," I told her. She had a look of worry on her face but didn't ask anything more. I got up on unstable legs and moved away from the concern doctor and sat behind my desk. I didn't look up to know the look I was getting from Ave. She was worried about me, but I didn't the time nor luxury to worry about anything that wasn't related to the mission at hand.
When I heard the door, open and click shut I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I ran my shaky hands through my short dark hair and lean back in my chair. Ave is right to worry about me, I think to myself, she's doing her job, I tell myself. I just wish she didn't see me lost it for a moment. Now she will be on my case until I talk to her. I look at the clock on my desk and call it quits for the night, we have just about a week left before our set launch date. Soon we'll be leaving one planet for another. And I can feel my anxiety growing more beneath the surface.