Astrid stood as did her brothers and father, and left her alone, though she was immediately joined by Elaine, who scooted past the empty chairs to sit beside her.
"This must be difficult for you, my dear," her mother-in-law said, placing a gentle hand on Vevina's arm.
"Astrid is a stranger to me. I at least had gotten to know something of Arthur," Vevina confessed and shook her head. "I know nothing about Astrid."
Elaine sighed. "I would tell you of my daughter, but I do not know if the daughter I knew is the one who has returned home."
"She appears different to you?"
Elaine nodded and leaned closer, keeping their discussion private. "I believe her escape without her brother has left her with emotional scars as well."
Vevina shivered.
Elaine squeezed her arm, her eyes glazing over with unshed tears. "Visible scars can leave reminders of scars that cut far deeper than the flesh. Be patient with her, she is a good woman despite all that you have seen or heard of her."
Vevina simply nodded, not knowing how to voice her concerns.
"I know this is not easy for you, Vevina. You woke this morning ready to start a new life with Arthur, and there you find yourself wed to Astrid, his twin sister. At least, you and Arthur held no feelings for each other yet. With time, you will come to know both of them and establish a good life here with us as a family."
"Do I have a choice?" As soon as she spoke, Vevina gasped at her own audacity, then quickly apologized. "I am truly sorry. I didn't mean to..."
"Nonsense, you have a right to question and doubt. I only attempt to advise that you give your marriage a chance, in words or not. If from the start you fear, then you will never find happiness. And unfortunately, the truth is you do not have a choice. Astrid is your wife by agreement, and that will not change. You can however decide what you want to do outside of the agreement. I'm sure Arthur wouldn't mind taking you in."
"Are you alright with that?" Vevina asked.
"As long as my children are happy, nothing matters to me," the older woman said. "You will either make the most of it or suffer the arrangement."
"You speak the truth, and I appreciate that and I will give your words consideration."
"Then at least it will give you a chance at some joy," Elain said with a knowing smile.
"I never thought of joy or happiness."
"What did you consider?" her mother-in-law asked. "Love?"
"Being safe," she whispered too low for anyone to hear.
~*~
Vevina sat alone in Astrid's bedchamber, having snuck away from the festivities when no one was paying attention to her, but then, few did pay her heed. She had always remained obscured, in the background, too fearful or distrustful to stand up for herself.
She had grown accustomed to not being seen or heard and actually preferred it. Her stepfather never questioned her solitary walks on the moor or her retreat to the corner of their small castle where she could be relatively safe and free in her own thoughts.
She would have that no more, not with a Sinclare. She was answerable to her stepfather, and it appeared that he intended to see that she remained a dutiful wife. She would never be free, though she had hoped her marriage to Arthur would have granted her some sense of freedom.
He'd seemed willing enough to allow her it when they talked. He had not voiced any objection to her request for solitary time once wed and had encouraged her to pursue her interests, after, of course, she had attended to her duties.
Vevina knew nothing of what Astrid expected of her, and she wasn't in a hurry to find out. She also wasn't in a hurry to consummate their vows, but that was another choice that wasn't hers. Also for the life of her, Vevina had not a single clue how to make love to another woman. She had heard a few things about Astrid Sinclare.
She was raised among warrior men and growing up she idolized her mother and admired her maiden beauty. She developed a different interest from most women who just want to have husbands and produce children. Astrid grew up wanting to fight men. She dueled with her brothers and saw them become men, having feelings and need for female companions, and she did not see herself as different from them.
To Vevina, it made perfect sense that the Sinclare did not find it strange to wed their only daughter to a woman for they expected nothing less from Astrid since the beginning. Astrid decided her own fate.
But Vevina's life had been filled with people making decisions for her. She just had to brace herself and try to survive this night and all the nights to follow.
She decided to prepare for bed and wait for her wife's return, as was expected of a dutiful wife. She slipped into a pale blue night shift, the wool was so soft that it felt as if it whispered against her skin. It fell to her ankles. The sleeves skimmed her wrists and the neckline scooped so low that it barely covered her breasts. She combed her long black hair, took some dried lavender leaves from the bowl on the stand near the bed, and crushed them between her fingers through her hair.
She would look presentable and smell sweet and hoped for the best.
After several hours passed with no sign of Astrid, she crawled into bed with a yawn and snuggled beneath the green wool coverlet. Soon the bed linens took on her body head and the steady warmth and comfort of the soft bedding lolled her off to sleep.
A strong pop and crackle of a log in the hearth woke her with a start. She sat up, realizing she was alone in the bed, and searched the room. Still, there was no sign of her wife. She wondered if she should see what kept her, but then, was it her place to question her absence from their bedchamber? And didn't she truly prefer her to remain as absent as long as possible?
Vevina snuggled once again beneath the blanket, thinking Astrid would arrive any moment and she must be ready to receive her. Time passed without her arrival and sleep once again claimed her.
The next time she woke for no apparent reason at all, though perhaps something had alerted her to a change in the room. She knew she was not alone. She felt her presence. It was strong, overpowering as if there wasn't room enough for anyone but Astrid Sinclare.