The stomach bug came out of nowhere, and Gianna went down like a weak gazelle. An entire week spent hunched over, either she was bent over a toilet bowl, or it was a bucket. Feeling like she was about to throw up all her internal organs. Her whole body nothing but aches and pains, every nerve, every muscle, feeling raw and exposed. She hurt so bad even the light seemed to worsen her pain, loud sounds moving through all her cells and setting off all the pain receptors in her body…it was not a fun week.
Preoccupied being sick, when she got Nico's message, stating he would be out of town for a while-dealing with business- she had not really cared. She had gathered as much from his terse replies to whatever was being said by the person on the other end of the call the last time she had seen him. Though Gianna highly doubted the out of town bit, she knew that whatever he was dealing with had to be very important. So she let it slide, focusing on what was more important to her. And in that moment she had not cares about anything more that reaching a bucket or her toilet before she started throwing up.
By the time he came back, she was mostly fine…really. Just a few dizzy spells here and there, and what felt like the beginnings of a cold.
She was fine, she totally could have slept with him if he wanted. But Nico strongly disagreed,. according to Nico she looked like road kill.
"Gianna if zombies passed you in the street they would give you a wide berth. You look so bad even the undead would fear catching whatever you have got,"
Taking offense, Gianna had a lot of witty comebacks to his statement, but when she opened her mouth, all that came out was "Bah," Right before she hobbled to the bathroom and proceeded to lose the little food she had managed to swallow. After such a lackluster statement she had expected him to leave and go do whatever criminal things he did when he was not with her.
So when he had turned around and left, she had been disappointed, but not shocked. Afterall, what they had was a business arrangement, no feelings, just sex. But thirty minutes later, Nico had been back. Carrying what looked to be all the over the counter medication he could find.
"You, shower, then back to bed," He ordered, sounding more like a mother hen than a mafia don.
Gianna wisely kept that observation to herself. He looked like he might manhandle her into the shower if she got too mouthy. She quietly went to do as she was told. Gianna was not even back in the bed for five minutes when he came in. Holding a tray with a steaming bowl on it.
"Chicken soup," He said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"Nico, I am fine, I can-" She was silenced by a spoonful of very good soup in her mouth.
"Mmm,"
"Good, is it not?" It was not really a question, just him praising his own soup making skills. To be fair if her chicken soup was as good as his, Gianna would have been tooting her own horn too. He fed her spoonful after spoonful and by the time the bowl was half full, she was drowsy.
"It's alright, cara mia, I am here to take care of you now, rest," He ran his fingers through her hair. The repetitive motion lulling her to sleep.
Her second week of illness passed like that. With gentle touches, his even gentler voice and endless plates of food. Keeping her hydrated and fed. And when she got bored, he read to her, or they watched something together.
"Shouldn't you be at work?" She would ask, not used to being taken care of, and he would just shrug.
"It is nothing I cannot do remotely,"
He singlehandedly nursed her back to health. By the time she was back to full her usual self, there was no denying what the little flutter in her stomach every time he was near her was.
Of all the dumb, stupid things Gianni could have done. She had gone and fallen in love with him.
There was no denying it anymore. At first she could explain it away, say it was the frankly mind blowing sex clouding her judgement. But there had been no sexual intimacy between them the entire time she had been sick.
It was just the two of them, watching reruns of old shows. His hand a comforting weight around her shoulder. All she had gotten was a peck on her forehead, and she had felt herself light up.
By the time he deemed her well enough to be left alone. Gianni was a hot mess, not physically, but emotionally. So she turned to the staples that had always helped drag her out of situation when she was having man trouble.
Work and food.
She did as many orders as she could. Going through yards of fabric. Her mouth always chewing on something. A carrot stick, peach slices, lollipops, onion rings-crunchy, salty, delicious onion rings. It was so bad she could not even hide it.
Nico had been giving her side eyes for a while now. Every time they met, she was either eating or making her way to the kitchen to get something to sink her teeth into.
They were currently at his house. Her second bowl of chilli on her lap. She poured a pinch of salt over it, stirred it, and then added some more. Only then did she taste it.
Perfection.
"This, is some good stuff,"Her eyes slipped shut, her lips around the spoon.
Pulling it out she licked it before putting it into the bowl, going for more"How did you say you made it again?" She asked, looking over to find Nico already staring at her. His eyes wide.
"What?" He shrugged, but still continued giving her side eyes. She felt him shift, getting up shortly after, but paid him no mind, she had finished the chilli and was now considering licking the bowl clean with her tongue.
How had she never realized how good chilli was? Maybe she could get away with a third bowl.
Nico returned to his seat next to her and got comfortable.
"Gianna, " He called, his voice sounding unsure. Looking up, she realized why and her heart sank.
He was holding an unboxed pregnancy test.
"Not to put any pressure on you, but I think you should use it," The hope in his voice was palpable, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.
An all too familiar wave of shame and guilt washed over her, and she looked away.
"Nico- She began, then stopped, out of words.
What would she say anyway?
'I lied, I cannot give you children?' That would float as well as a lead balloon. Time had gone so fast, she had blinked and found that she had spent over half a year lying to him.
They were three months from the end of their arrangement and the man was still holding out hope. To say Gianna felt worse than dirt at the bottom of a scoundrel's shoe was an understatement.
But like the coward she was, all she did was nod, taking the test from him. With every step she took towards the downstairs bathroom she felt his hopeful eyes on her. Burning into her skin like a physical thing. Alone in the toilet, she let her mask slip briefly, letting a few tears fall.
"I am so sorry, Nico," It was cowardly to apologize where he could not hear her, but it was the best she could do.
She peed on the little stick with a heavy heart. Then she took her time washing her hands and then heading back out. The kit held loosely between her fingers.
"I am done, now all we have to do is wait,"
She put it on the table. Right on top of the box she had taken it from. A makeshift stage specially made to remind her of her dishonesty.
Unable to take it anymore, she stood walking a circuit around the couch. Nico, for his part, was silent, taking the occasional sip from the glass of whiskey balanced on his knee.
When it came time to check, Gianna sat back down. Reaching over with trembling fingers she took the test. She did not really need to look. Already knowing that the small window would have a single line.
She looked and as expected, there were two lines staring back at her.
Wait…two lines.
Two…how could…two?!
She lost her grip on the test, Nico's hand snatching it from the air before it could hit the ground.
"Gianna, it's alright, we can try again, there is still time to-" He looked at the test. His reassurances tapered off, his gaze switching from her to stick in his hand.
"Gianna," He said her name like it was something precious. Nico reached out, his hand hovering over her belly. His eyes alight with joy.
All the while, Gianna's mind was stuck on repeat.
'It can't be…It can't be…It can't be…It can't be…It can't be…'
"Let's take another test," She pleaded, absolutely terrified. This was impossible, it was just supposed to be a year of trying and then going their separate ways. But somehow…a miracle… she cupped her hands over her stomach. Her eyes tearing up.
"Of course, it would not hurt to be sure. We will confirm with the family doctor, but for now, the tests will do," Nico looked like if he could, he would sprout wings and soar. Yelling his joy to the heaves. So caught up in his happiness he did not notice Gianna's silent panic.
Seven more pregnancy tests showed up, and Gianna who'd been peeing way to much in the past week, had no problem using all of them up.
And then she and Nico sat side by side, watching as two lines appeared on the tests, one after the other. The undeniable truth staring back at her in parallel lines.
Pregnant.
Gianna Alonso was pregnant.
The information registered but she had trouble believing it. Her hands moved to her stomach cradling it in disbelief. Overcome by emotion, Gianna opened her mouth. A secret that should have gone with her to the grave, that should have never escaped from the walls of her mind tumbling out.
"It cannot be, I can't be pregnant Nico?" He looked at her, his brow furrowed in confusion.
"Gianna, of course you can, we have been trying for months-" She cut him off, the panic leeching into her voice.
"No-no, you do not understand, I am not supposed to be able to have kids," There was a coldness settling over his handsome face. But Gianna, gripped by shock, tears streaming down her face, could not stop talking. It was like the news of the pregnancy was some sort of truth serum. Making her reveal things she had never shared with another living person.
"The doctors never really found a reason why. My body just could not conceive, so I gave up,"
His voice when he spoke, carried all the chill of the arctic.
"So you were lying to me this entire time, using me,"
She wanted to protest. To make him understand, to talk about her father's debt. About how she knew she would never get out of it if she did not do something drastic. But looking into his eyes and seeing the hurt there. All she could do was hang her head.
"I am sorry," She whispered. They were just words, but it was all she could offer him.
He left her there. Going upstairs and slamming the door. The sound of glass shattering followed and Gianna cried and cried.
The pregnancy tests still surrounding her. All of them seeming to point accusing fingers at her.
She should have told him the truth from the beginning. Should have never gone through with her insane plan to get her father's debt wiped. But if she had not then she would not have gotten her baby. And that seemed a far worse outcome than lying to Nico. Without her lie, she would have carried on as she always had…alone, with no hope of ever having a baby of her own.
Looking down at her flat stomach, Gianna patted it lightly, feeling an unfamiliar surge of love and protectiveness.
"Do not worry baby, mama will fix this. She will, papa will not be mad anymore," How exactly she would do that, she did not know. But she had to find a way to make things better.
She was going to be a mother now, and mothers were at their most fierce when they were fighting for their kids.