Gianna tossed and turned, she punched at the mattress beneath her trying to get comfortable. When that did not work, she turned her attention to her pillow, fluffing it up. Somehow fluffing it turned into her holding it over her face.
"Ahh!" She screamed into the material kicking her legs for good measure. But the action did nothing to put her racing mind at ease. Not for the first, Gianna time regretted that she had no close friends or family.
Ever since the death of her cousin Gina, she had not tried to form any close relationships. She'd had no true friends to begin with. Just people she hung out with until they stopped talking and their relationship fizzled out. She had always consoled herself by saying that she was busy building an empire, she did not have time for friends. But now she was really regretting that decision.
The whole thing with Nico was eating her alive. She needed a way to vent, to unload, but she had no one talk to. So here she was, losing sleep. Totally spent after her mini fit, she stared up at the ceiling, bringing her right hand up, she stared at her fingers.
There were tiny blisters forming at the tips, all thanks to the sewing spree she had been on. She had finished the costumes and delivered them well in time(getting a free ticket for her trouble). Then she had gone about finishing as many new orders as she could. From there she had been sewing with the scraps left behind from her projects. Making all manner of garish designs that hurt both her eyes and her sense of style. The worst of which was a bouquet of flowers. She had considered throwing them away, but reconsidered. Said flowers were now in a vase next to her TV.
All the work a futile attempt to keep her mind busy. Trying and failing to not think about Nico Bianchi.
"Why, Gianna? Why?! You should have just come out and said it…told him the truth,"
"Nico, for as long as you are with me, all the pregnancy tests will come out negative. Simple, neat, and straight to the point, no room for any confusion whatsoever,"
"Why did you not say anything," 'Because I enjoy living,' her inner voice of reason whispered and Gianna knew it was right.
It had been two weeks since the failed pregnancy test and she had not seen him since. Logically she knew he was busy, but that did not stop her from feeling like she was being punished. Nor did it stop her from not wanting him to come, while at the same time hoping for him to call.
She was so used to consistent mind blowing sex, that not having it was a shock to the system. A very bad one, if she'd had an electric toothbrush it would have long died. But since she did not, she had settled for using what she had. Gianna had been fingering herself almost religiously. Not stopping until her thighs were wet and she needed a shower. No doubt her water bill at the end of the month would cause a near heart attack. And when the fingering had not been enough, she had gone out and bought a vibrator. It worked well enough, but no matter how many times she came, her walls clenching around the toy. It was never enough, she wanted, no, needed more. The feel of silky flesh rubbing against her most secret place. She needed him, needed his dick in her and the longer she did not have him the more she fell into a vicious cycle of work and masturbation. Constantly looking for a high only one man could give her. Why did that man have to be the most powerful man in the city?! One who was only sleeping with her because he thought he could get her pregnant? Why could it not have been the accountant she had dated a few months back. Carlos Gonzalez. A nice steady reliable man who was also a beast in the sack( although, who was she kidding, Carlos could not hold a candle to the roaring inferno that was Nico during sex). It would have been great if he could though. She would be sleeping with a literal sex go with zero lies and zero threat on her life thanks to said lies. But thanks to her luck, the best sex she had ever had, came from the head of a crime family who was as handsome as he was deadly.
To add insult to injury, she was ashamed that she was thinking of Nico in such a way. How could she, knowing that she was lying about her fertility still crave him? Still crave the feel of his lips on her as his dick breached her? It was wrong of her to lust after him so much. She had gone in the first night expecting at the least, discomfort and boredom and at the worst a lot of pain. But she had gotten neither, instead she had spent the night enjoying some mind blowing sex. That made it easy to get confused, but she had to remind herself of the truth. The only reason he was sleeping with her was for a baby. If she told him the truth he would stop, or worse, have her killed. One word of the truth and there would be no more Nico, no more earth shattering orgasms and a ton of debt to look forward to if she lived to tell the tale.
"Pull yourself together, Gianna, you cannot fall apart now,"
Her lie by omission was becoming more and more complex by the day. It was getting hard to keep it to herself. With each gentle touch on her skin, each smile, each soft caress and every term of endearment her secret got heavier and heavier. When he looked at her, his eyes warm, Gianna had to fight the need to confess. Constantly having to remind herself why doing so would be a bad idea. She had to find a way to distance her feelings from the arrangement. Afterall, she knew its inevitable end. The year would come and go without her falling pregnant and he would disappear from her life.
It was in her best interest not to get too attached to him. Just as she thought that, her phone rang and she jumped up, pulling it to her as she threw off her bed covers. Seeing his name on the screen, she patted her hair. A useless attempt to look good given that it was not a video call. But she still did it, her other hand bringing the phone to her ear.
"Hello," She answered, careful to keep her hurricane of emotions out of her voice.
"My driver will be by to pick you up shortly, get ready," No hello, no how are you, just a statement that let her know what was to come and then he hung up, her compliance a forgone conclusion. It was down right rude and not sexy in the least. But heat still pooled in her lower belly, her heart skipping a beat. How could she not get aroused when she knew what was to come.
Putting the phone back down, Gianna went to get ready. Feeling like she was walking towards her doom and her salvation.
This could not end well, but she would ride it into the burning sun if she had to.