"Lady, Marquis has returned," Nanny told me as I was frowning in anger.
I didn't care about anything and walked toward his office. This time I didn't even ask for permission but pushed the door and entered forcefully.
"Bernice, have you forgotten about your manners?" I can see my father's usual anger, but I don't care.
"Father, I too want to ask you. Have you finally lost it?" Father's expression changed. He looked at me with shocked eyes.
"I will come back later," the count left as I started shouting.
"Sister, what are you...."
Excalibur tried to stop me as well.
"You should not attend your classes unless you want to see this."
"And I'm sure you don't want to see this." This is the first time I ever behaved like this which made him run from the place while me and father were only inside the room.
"Father, I'm asking you something!" I asked again.
"Have you finally lost it?" I raised my brows, but it came down on its own with my frowned expression.
"What are you saying? Do you think it is how you should talk with your father?" he asked.
"And is this what you should do with your daughter?" I asked the same question.
"What have I done? I'm not even sure what I have done. If you are getting angry that I have taken Excalibur with me and let you in this place alone then-"
"Father, you should also know this is not what I'm trying to say." I spoke. I saw him looking away. This is the first time he has behaved like this.
"I'm n-not sure what you are saying?" he acted, signing papers.
"Du-Duke Alexavier Agnes."
"Now you can remember right? What am I trying to say? Or you still can't?" I spoke.
"Be-Bernice." he stuttered.
"Father, I'm asking if you know or not!!!!!"
"I can't believe you father."
"I really can't believe it when you clearly said what I feel, and you are still acting like this. I'm not even sure what you are thinking but I want to ask one thing. Why? Why are you doing this to me when I'm just trying to h-"
I stopped.
What was I even trying to say?
"Bernice, you have to marry him." he said, widening my eyes.
Did I hear correctly? Did he really say I have to marry Alexavier Agnes? Is he really?
"Father, can you repeat what you just said?" I asked again.
"Did you really say I have to marry him or my ear just ringing on its own?" I asked after and after.
"No, you heard it right. You have to marry him. I have already talked about this with him, and you will get married in a week so be prepared." he said and looked away.
No no no this can't be happening. This can't be happening. Whenever I think of this, I can again see the terrifying night in front of me. It still made my skin crawl imagining so how could I possibly.
"I refuse." I spoke.
"Bernice!!"
"Yeah, I refuse. I don't want this marriage. Whatever. I don't freaking want this. Is that clear!!!!!!" I shouted and left the room. I ran toward my room but in front of me all I could see was dark covering me all over.
No, I don't want this. I was repeating in my mind like a chant.
"Lady, you, ok?" the voice.
I pushed and stood properly.
"I'm fine," I answered.
"Greetings, young duke," I said like a proper lady.
"You don't have to, Lady Bernice. We have just met this morning." he said, being polite.
But I hope I won't have to meet you.
"You sure are fine right?" he asked, bowing his head.
"I'm fine. And you don't have to lower your head in front of me. There is a difference in classes between me and you." I drew a line.
"No lady, you are forgetting that I'm your would-be husband, so it is only fair for me to lower my head in front of my bride. Even if I have to lower it for hours or days. It doesn't matter." he said with a smile.
I felt an ache in my chest.
Why? Why are his words still affecting me when he never ever cared about me when we were married? If he really cares about his wife, then why does he never ever come to see me unless it's dinner time? If he really cares then why does he only call me to his study to let me know about my duties as the duchess, but he forgets I was his wife, and he was my husband? Why?
"Why?"
Left my mouth.
"What?" he asked.
"Why are you being so nice to me? Why when you don't even mean what you say? Why? Is it funny playing with me?" I asked.
"Lady, it is not like th-"
"Don't say anything. As I said Father, this marriage is never going to occur so forget about it. And if you want someone to follow in your footsteps and play an ideal wife then you shouldn't stop. There are many fishes in the river." I said and ran again.
Every time I talk with this man I can see his face from my previous time. It is hurting me so much that I couldn't even describe it. And marry him even though I remember everything? No, it is not possible. It is not at all possible unless...
"Why do you think that I might think I'm your type?" I remember the conversation we had before.
"No reason."
"Then why did you say something you don't mean?" he said.
I stayed silent.
Remembering all the conversation made me feel, was he always like this or the one I have known for long someone else? No, it can't be. Then why has he changed so much? Why has there been so much change in his behavior that it's making me feel like I'm not talking to him, but to someone else?