February 2021
"I'm apologise about being late. I'm an alumni and still I don't know my way around campus. What do you know? Somethings never change." Roman dumps a pile of notes and his laptop onto the pulpit in front of the lecture theatre. He's dressed in an unbearable tailored charcoal suit and his hair is movie-star slicked back with an entire container of hair gel. Right...
"What is your dad doing in my lecture?" I ask Ashlae.
"He lecturers on campus from time to time," she says. "I completely forgot he was coming in today."
"Right. Nothing weird and unconstitutional about taking a class your dad is teaching," I say and I'm trying to be sarcastic and fun about it. I want her to like me. Give me her dad's email. That's as desperate as I have become.
"Do you want me to get him to bump up your marks?"I can't tell if she's joking as well.
I touch my throat. "I couldn't."
We hide our laughter behind our hands and I feel a sense of sisterhood, sitting there and having a good laugh. In that moment, it isn't about getting close to her father. She's intelligent and irresistible and fun and I'm unironically falling in love with her personality.
Roman's eyes meet mine and I pretend it was absolutely coincidental. That I would never have the audacity to make eyes at him while I'm sitting next to his daughter.
Ashlae ducks. "Oh no! He's looking at us. He's goung to be terribly embarrassed the whole time now."
"He looks really sure of himself," I say to her.
"He has this thing where he doesn't want to believe that his kids are old enough to take his classes in uni. He's considering early retirement. It's that serious," she tells me then.
"Seriously?"
"Seriously. He isn't taking the aging thing very well," she says.
I sit through the entire lesson taking notes that won't mean anything to me when I review them at home and getting to know Ashlae. She tells me that she's meeting Micah and some friends after class and asks if I'd like to join them. I tell her that I don't mind.
At the end of class, I met Amber at the exit and get my camera from her. She tells me to have fun with my new friends. I can't tell if she's being sarcastic.
"Miss Landon, can I speak with you for a moment," Roman says to me then. He touches my elbow. It's all terribly formal and he's not giving anything away.
"Don't keep her too long," Ashlae says. She's whining.
"It's nothing serious. I promise," he says to her. We watch everyone leave the lecture hall. I turn to face I'm and he doesn't say anything for a while.
"What's the matter?"
"I hope this isn't too awkward. I didn't think you'd be taking one of my classes. It's painful enough having my daughter as one of my students. I really should get started on my resignation letter," he says, dragging his hand down his face. His face coloured purple with discomfort.
"It's okay. I mean, we didn't do anything wrong right. You're Ashale's dad and you're also my lecturer. It's no idea, but it's not the end of the world," I insist. I don't know where I'm going with this. Yes, actually, it is awkward. There's no way I'll be able to ask for his number no without it being weird. Terribly awkward. I try not to sound too enthusiastic about his retirement. His fabled resignation.
"Right. I apologise. This is so unprofessional. I don't know what I was thinking," he says.
"I should probably get going. Ashale's waiting on me," I say to him. I leave him in the lecture theatre. Nevermind asking for his contact. Considering he's going to be my lecture, I'm certain hell be emailing me via his school email about something or the other. Keep him on a string. Maintain professionalism.
We have coffee at a cafe on campus. Ashlae runs to the toilet and I'm left at the table with Micah and his friend Shay. They tell me about the gaming tournament that they're practising for. That Shay has already made the top ten.
"What kind of torment is it?" I ask.
"Valorent. I'm not sure if you've ever played, but it's the most insane video game yet. The developers always hosts the craziests competitions," Micah says.
"I've heard of it," I say. "I'm not really a big fan on video games."
"What do you do in your free time?" he asks.
"I read---mostly," I say to him.
"What's are you currently reading?"
"This isn't an interview. Relax," Shay says to him, taking a sip of his coffee. "I mean, she's Ashale's friend. Don't make her fight you about it."
"I'm not interrogating her!" His face is flushed red. "I'm sorry."
I shake my head like it's no big deal and it really isn't. Micah is the safe choice. Isn't he. The adorable golden retriever type who's my age and loves learning new things about me. I should ask him out. Get my mind off of Roman. "No, it's okay. Honestly. I don't mind. My life is terribly boring and no one is ever interested in me anyways."
"You're not boring," Ashlae says, sitting down next to me at our table. "And we are interested in your life."
"Shay says that she's you friend," Micah whines.
"Because she is!" Ashlae says.
"But that's not fair. You can't just take ownership of an entire person," Micah insists.
"Should I be scared?" I ask.
"They get attached easily. Don't mind the possessiveness. It's absolutely harmless," Shay says to me.
We spend the rest of the afternoon completing work and having coffee drinks until the cafe closes. Ashlae gives me a ride back to my apartment and I exchange numbers with all of them. She tells me not to add her brother's number to my contacts--that he'll stalk me on WhatsApp. I promise her that I'll take it into consideration.
I'm in the shower when Micah texts me, asking about seeing me the next day. That he's got a free day and was hoping to spend some time with me. He makes it so easy. Being with him could be so effortless. We did nothing wrong. He's my age and he's nice and unproblematic and I'm supposed to be inetersted in men like him.
"Yeah, sure," I text back, fingers wet with shower soap. What could it hurt?
"Great," he replies.