I pouted as Jackson packed his bags again, needing to fly to London to handle some business over there. He would be gone for three weeks and I hated it.
"You know, if you had submitted your resume like I had asked, I could have had you come with me on this trip." Jackson cocked a brow at me as I play with his pillows on his bed.
We'd been dating for about five months now and because of his other business projects going on, he's been having to travel more often. I've been doing my best to not be anxious, but this is the longest trip he's had to take yet.
"I know..." I draw out, "but I now that everyone knows I'm your girlfriend, I just ...." I trail off, knowing he already knows what I'm going to say. I don't want anyone to think I slept my way to my position.
Jackson shakes his head and sits on the bed with me, "I'll call you everyday. I will miss you every second and if I can finish it earlier, you know I will leave." He caresses the side of my face, moving a lock of my hair behind my ear.
"I know." I say sadly. "It's just going to feel like forever. It always does when you have to leave."
Jackson sighs, "Did you set up an appointment with Sarina's husband by the way?"
"Yes, it's tomorrow at twelve forty-five until two. I told HR and my secretary I had a dental appointment." I let him know.
"You know, you'll need to give them a different excuse eventually. How much dental work can you make an excuse for before they catch on?"
"I'll figure something out. Dr. Huller was already accommodating me by cutting into his lunch time to see me during my own lunch time. Especially since Sarina is getting closer to her due date."
"I'm surprised he did that. Most doctors would not."
I sigh, "I found out when he called me back to let me know we could set it up for that time, that Sarina had asked him to work with me." I groan and lay my head down next to Jackson's chest.
"That was kind of him." Jackson runs his fingers through my hair as I lay there.
I pop my head up, "Oh, he's not doing it completely out of the kindness of his heart. It's costing me an extra three hundred dollars until Sarina has the babies. Then we will have to work a different time and agreement."
"Well, time is precious..." Jackson mumbles.
"Yes, it is. Apparently, that money is going towards nursery decorating fund. Sarina wants to turn the nursery into a fairytale forest. So I guess it's going to a good cause." I start to fiddle with Jackson's shirt, thinking how lucky Sarina's kids are that they are going to be raised by such loving parents who are willing to do such amazing things for them.
"Is something else the matter, my Lita?" Jackson asks, leaning back to meet my eyes.
"Yes. I was just thinking how lucky Sarina's kids are to have such amazing parents and they're not even born yet." I give him a sad smile. "I wish..." I can't get the words out, I wish my parents had loved me just a fraction of how Sarina and Brian love their babies.
Jackson's eyes fill with understanding and he pulls me closer, "I know what you mean. Don't worry, when we have ours, we'll make sure that they never experience what we had to."
I tense, 'have ours?'.
Jackson pulls back from me again, "What's the matter now?" He raises a brow at me.
"I'm sorry but when we have ours?" I'm not even sure I want to have children. How would I know how to love a child?
"Well, yes. Don't you want to have a baby with me one day?" He asks, his brows pinched in hurt and confusion as I sit up in the bed.
"I...uh... never really gave it much thought I guess. I didn't have much luck with my past relationships, so I just focused on my career." Are we really going to talk about this now?
"Yes, but I'm not your past relationships, Melita." Jackson's body is tense beside me and I know he's controlling his emotions right now.
"You do want to have a family with me one day though, right?" Jackson sits up and takes my hand into his. I avoid his gaze as I try to think about it.
"I... uh... don't know." I say and I flinch with how his body tenses before he scoffs. I raise my eyes to his and I see hurt in his eyes as he shakes his head. "What?! I told you, I've never given it much thought! You ask me a question that I need time to think about it and you're going to be mad at me for that?" I pull away from him, staring at him in scornful disbelief. Truthfully, I'm also hurt that he's having this reaction. Right before he's about to leave too!
"Come on you're about to leave for three weeks..." I whine a little. "Are you really going to leave upset with me?" My anxieties are starting to cause thoughts to fly through my mind. Is he going to still want me if I don't want to ever have children? Do I have to quit working if I do have kids? There's too many variables to give him a definitive answer.
He sighs and closes his eyes, releasing another deep breath, "Sorry, you're right." He opens his eyes and gives me a tight smile. "We can discuss all that later."
He stands and finishes packing his suit case and turns to me. I stand and walk to him, wrapping my arms around him not wanting him to go.
"I miss you already." I whisper into his neck and chest. His arms wrap tightly around me and hold me close to him.
"I'll call you when I land and get set up in the hotel." He lays a kiss on the crown of my head, my arms instinctively squeezing around him tighter, not wanting him to go. I battle back the tears that slowly start to form. I try so hard to keep myself together but when he starts to pull back and I squeeze him tighter, a lump forming in my throat right as a sob escapes me, I lose it.
"Shhh..." Jackson tries to console me. "It's not forever. I'll be back, my little Lita." He tends in place swaying me in his arms.
"I know. I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm being so emotional right now." I try to take in a deep breath through my tears as Jackson still clutches me close.
"Look at it like this," Jackson pauses and leans back to pick my chin up, "you will have more free time to spend with your friends. Take the time to spend it with them or go to one of Sarina's art classes? You could even make something to sell there? Just let me know if you do put anything up." He wipes my tears away with the pad of his thumb.
"Why?" I take a shuddered breath in.
"So I can buy it because I love your work." He chuckles at my reaction when my brows shoot up and I scoff.
"Greedy aren't you? You know I'll draw you anything you want."
Jackson's eyes brighten as an idea comes to life in them. "Okay, I want a six foot by three of your beautiful silhouette. Your head lightly turned to look back over your shoulder with your hair up." He smiles down at me, teasingly.
"You're joking." I push on his chest playfully.
His face grows serious in the next moment, "No, I'm quite serious actually. I want you to work on it too while I'm gone so I can't see it and it'll be a surprise."
I give him a nod of my head, quietly agreeing. "Okay. I can do that."
He kisses my forehead and then leans his against my own, our noses brushing against each others. "That's my girl." He whispers, his eyes closed as he brushes his nose against mine. "It's that time, my Lita. We'll drop you off at home, okay?"
Nodding, but keeping my forehead against his I let out a shuddering breath before taking and holding another one. I step back, "Let's go then. Waiting longer is not going to help me any." I give him a tight lipped smile and grab his smaller bag for him as he grabs his suitcase. We walk downstairs and get into the car with his driver placing the bags into the trunk before dropping me off at home.
It was almost dinner time and I had no desire to cook anything. After freshening up my face and changing into a cream colored blouse to go with my black slacks. I put on the emerald and diamond bracelet Jackson had gifted me and put on the emerald and diamond earrings I bought from Sarina. I got an Uher and had them take me to Fearings. I asked for a spot in the bar area since they had two person sitting or I could sit at the bar itself.
I was placed at the bar and when I was asked what I would like to drink I asked for a Cranberry mule and a glass of water. I wanted something to help me relax and one drink will be fine while I waited on my steak to arrive.
I'm sipping on my drink, reading some emails on my phone, when a familiar voice catches my attention as the owner comes to be seated right next to me.
My breath catches and as the hostess leaves, I turn to make sure, because it can't be him.
"Melita?"
It's Ethan. My first and he looks happy to see me.