I couldn't help feeling scared at the thought of Mike having run away.
I took out my phone, and dialed his number, but it was switched off. I didn't know what next to do, so I left his room, and tried to find my way back to the living room.
"Did he send you out?" His sister said when she saw me coming down the stairs.
"No, he's not there. Do you..? Do you think he's gone out?" I asked, but she shook her head.
"I'm very sure he hasn't stepped out. Don't mind him, he'll come out of wherever he's hiding soon enough. The house is big enough, so he's probably sulking somewhere." She said, as she crunched chips mercilessly.
"Can… Can I search for him?" I asked, and bit my lip immediately after realizing it was most likely the wrong thing to say.
She didn't know me, so how could I just come one day, and ask to search their house? I could easily be a petty thief.
"Sure." She said, leaving me shocked. How could she just accept for me to search the house?
"Thanks." I replied, putting away my thoughts about her. I turned towards the stairs, and realized it would take me too much time. The house was big, and I had no directions.
Then I took a deep breath.
I knew Mike enough. His mother flocked every room with different partners, and for to insist on using any room, it meant she probably had a master key.
So Mike wouldn't be in a room, then where could he be? A place without a bed, surely. Then he'd be sure his mother wouldn't find him there.
There was the kitchen, and store room, in which he wouldn't stay since they were everyday rooms.
I went back to his sister, who was laughing at the movie she was watching while digging her hand into the pack of chips from which she was eating.
"I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry, but what rooms don't have beds here?" I asked, and she laughed, looking amused.
"He told you right? Well, there's the basement, the rooftop…"
"How do I get there?" I asked, and she furrowed her brows like she was trying to remember something.
"The basement is on the last door of the lower floor, and you can get to the rooftop through any of the windows of the rooms on the last floor." She said, and I thanked her before leaving for the rooms in the corridor in front of me.
I searched each room until I pushed one open, and saw darkness.
It had to be the basement. I took out my phone, and turned on its torch, scanning the whole place. I saw the steep stairs, and unused things, but it seemed empty.
"Mike?" I called. "It's me, Pris."
Only a faint echo greeted me in return, and I waited, but no reply came. Then, I proceeded to climb the staircases. When I got to the last floor, I took the last room, and saw it was an uninhabited room.
"Where's the…" I muttered to myself, but saw the window that no doubt led to the rooftop. I ran to it, and climbed through.
The night air was quite strong, and I hoped it wouldn't snow.
I walked a bit, trying not to think of the height at which I was.
I walked around, looking at all the rooms connecting to the rooftop, but there was a little structure that seemed like a room, but it stood atop the rest in a kind of triangle, and it also had a window.
The window was sealed, and I couldn't see what was inside, so instead I looked at the room which was right underneath it, and entered through its window.
"There's a room up there." I said to myself as I looked up, as I studied the ceiling, I saw a square opening, and realized it was a trap door.
I quickly dragged a chair underneath it, and placed a stool on it.
Then I climbed atop it, wobbling, and trying to keep my balance. I prepared to push with all my might, and still maintain my standing, but it gave way easier than I expected, and I saw a short staircase, and a different place.
The attic. It was the perfect place for Mike to hide out. No one thought about it, and I doubted Mike's mother, and lover would go through all the hassle I was going through, just to make love at the highest point in the house.
I helped myself up, grunting as I managed to sit on the floorboard, and stood up, so I could close the floorboard. I climbed the stairs, and there he was on a bed.
I sighed in relief.
"Mike." I called, but immediately felt like a fool when I saw the ear plugs in his ear.
I went to him, and sat on the bed in front of him. He felt the movement, and his eyes flew open. I smiled at the shock on his face.
"Hi hi." I said, with a smile, and he blinked, looking back at the trapdoor.
"You came through there?" He asked, and I nodded, then looked around. He had made the place into a room. There was the bed, his clothes, shoes, and a mirror.
"Is this your new room?" I asked, slowly.
"It's where I come to when I'm at my toughest times." He said, slowly, and I sighed.
"What's up with you, Mike. You have been skipping classes, and behaving weird. You're getting me worried." I said, trying to see past all the worry in his eyes. Somewhere there lay the Mike that always smiled.
"I'm sorry."
"I don't need your apology. I just want to know what's wrong. A burden is meant to be shared, not carried alone." I said, remembering Peter saying he had once tried to run away.
"I know, but I can't tell you." He said, and my heart sank as he stared at me which a look that said he really wasn't going to tell me.
Was he really planning to run away?
"Are you… Are you trying to do something..? Something like running away?" I asked, with a little fear in my voice.
"No." He replied, but didn't say more.
"Come on, tell me, Mike. What is it?" I asked, moving closer to him, and he swallowed.
"There's… There's something I want to do, but… It's really hard to do it. Every time I want to do it, I just stop. I can't, and it's been really weighing me down. I can't seem to think." He said, looking at his fingers, and I felt for him.
"It's just so hard for me. I hope to do it as fast as I can, but each time the opportunity comes, I lose it, and it's been on my mind, making me feel depressed that I can't do anything about it. I really want to do it."
"Can't you tell me what it is?"
"No."
I sighed, wondering what it was.
"So this thing is giving you a hard time because you can't bring yourself to do it? Then why not just leave it?"
"No, leaving it is worse. It makes me sick." He said, and I saw his eyes shine. He was trying not to cry. At that moment, he looked nothing more than a little kid who wasn't given what he wanted.
I moved closer to him, and hugged him.
"What you're about to do, that's giving you such a hard time, is it something that would hurt your family? Your mom, dad, sisters?" I asked, but he shook his head.
"Will it hurt me? Do you think it'd hurt me?" I asked, but he shook his head once more.
"Will it hurt you?" I asked again, and he gave a little scoff.
"I think I'd feel free." He said, and I sighed, and released him. Then I took his hands. They were larger than mine, but I was still able to hold them securely.
"Do it. I'm giving you my full support. If it's going to make you happy, and make you smile again, then do it.
"Don't think, just do it. I'm giving you the greatest encouragement you can have right now. You can do this thing." I said, and there was a little smile on his lips.
"Can you say it again?" He asked, looking at my hand that was holding his gently.
"Say what?"
"You can do this thing." He said, and I smiled.
"You can do this thing! You can do it." I said, repeating it over, and over, and it got to a time when he just shied away, and pushed me lightly.
"What was that?" I asked, laughing, and looked at him.
He was smiling, and I realized that him smiling was like sunshine after the rain. He had such nice teeth that made a beautiful smile. I needed him to smile often, and it almost gave me butterflies.
"I'll do it." He said, looking straight into my eyes, and I smiled.
"Make sure to do it. I give you my consent." I encouraged, and we talked a bit until I remembered Peter was still waiting outside. He bid me goodbye when I went down the trapdoor because he still didn't want to see his family.
I got back into Peter's car, and apologized immediately.
"I'm truly sorry, I…"
"No, it's fine. So, is he planning to run?" He asked, and furrowed my brows.
"I don't think so. No. It's something else. But he won't tell me." I said, and just then my heart jumped as my eye caught a running figure approaching.
It was Freddie.
"Why's he…?" I asked, as I turned around to watch him go.
"I don't know. Everyone has problems. He's probably battling with his. It sure is one hell of a Christmas." Peter said, and started his car.
Everyone had problems. What was my problem?
As we drove, I wondered who else was having a hard time, and let out a little sigh.
"Why did Mike run away back then? And how was he found?" I asked.
"I think it was back in middle school. Same family problems. He left for California. A place where we didn't imagine he could go to. He's tried running away before, but that time, he was gone for a full week."
"They couldn't track him?" I asked, wondering how he could have pulled going off to California all by himself. It was something I didn't think I could do.
"Yeah. But, he reached out to Summer when it was all too much for him to bear. She persuaded him to tell her where he was, and she alone brought him back.
"How happy his father was. Since then, the teachers treaded around him like they were treading around eggs, since he was prone to depression." He explained, and I felt a bit sad that Mike didn't reach out to me, but reached out to Summer when he ran.
"What's she like?" I heard myself ask, even though I didn't mean to.
"Summer? Well, she's pretty, sometimes clumsy, and a good friend of the CKH boys." He said, and although I didn't know her much, I didn't like the fact that she knew the boys well enough.
"Oh. Is she that comforting? For Mike to have reached out to her?" I asked again, and he smiled.
"She's completely unique. Her presence alone is quite comforting. I can't forget the day we lost at a basketball game because of Freddie. He suddenly stopped playing, giving a blank look until we lost."
"You play basketball?" I asked, and he laughed.
"Back then, I didn't know how to play that much, but I was in as a distraction. To wink at the other guys, and smile at them, so they'd lose concentration. We heard most of them were gay." He said, still smiling, and I chuckled.
"How awkward it must have been."
"Very." He said. "Freddie didn't say a word even after the game. Everyone came to give sympathy, but none of it sank in, until Summer came.
"She didn't say a word, she only sat there with tears in her eyes, and those alone were comforting. To know that someone knew how important that game was to us, and not because they wanted favor from us.
"Actually, Freddie, and Mike got involved with Summer, and since then, they were enemies. I wouldn't say they're enemies now, but they're not comfortable talking to, and about, each other."
"What happened?" I asked, but we had gotten to the school.
"You really suck in things like foam, don't you?" He said, with a smile, and got out of the car. "I think you still have a lot to do." He said, and although I wanted him to tell me, I could already guess.
Freddie loved Summer, and so did Mike. It was possible Freddie, and Summer dated then broke up because of Mike.
As I decorated the office, I thought about what Peter had told me about Summer. I also wanted to be comforting enough to everyone around me.
When I left the school, I thought of gifts to give Mera, Val, and Chris, and while I was standing at the road, trying to think of what they could like.
I saw Freddie standing some feet apart from me with his hands in his pockets. He seemed to be deep in his thoughts, and I wondered about going to him.
Peter had hinted that he was probably having a hard time. Then it started to snow, and I looked up at the sky.
Not that I was trying to be like Summer. I was naturally a person who tried to make people feel better, and he was my crush.
But, I hesitated because Freddie was a closed book. I didn't know what mood he was in, and how harsh he'd be…
Then, I thought for a while before taking my first steps towards him.
Rude or not… I wanted to talk to him.