After lamenting his own weakness, Stell could finally concentrate on reading the book.
Although he expected it, he still couldn't believe the amount of free information that had been given to them. All of the Common and Rare elements were listed.
Even most of the Epic elements were there. If he didn't know better, he would have guessed that it was secret precious information from an important person.
There were also more things he couldn't have even imagined! For example, there were unique elements.
Most of the unique elements were elements unique only to certain people, concepts that shouldn't have existed in his previous world.
For example, Blood element.
It was an element that was unique only to Blood Clan descendants. Apparently, it could control blood, and yes, that included people as well.
Then, he learned that even species could be counted as an element. It didn't make any sense! How could a vampire be an element?
And yet, it really was like that. Then, he remembered the Law of Simulation, the same law that described the uniqueness of beings and concepts and how exile's homes only simulated such uniqueness.
If he was being honest, he didn't understand it completely. Still, deciding not to bother with it, Stell tried learning even more information.
He didn't want to be left behind. Even if he was average, he still wanted to reach the heights of the protagonists.
After a few hours, Stell left the Alchemy Association, aimlessly wandering the streets.
As in previous instances, he saw many depressed people praying, lying down, or even staring blankly.
However, he resonated with them at that moment. He also saw a bleak future where he couldn't reach the heights he aimed for. He also saw a future where he was useless.
No, it wasn't the future. He could only bitterly chuckle as he passed by the depressed exiles.
Then, Stell saw kids playing happily. 'Didn't they lose their parents?' He couldn't help but wonder.
With a heavy heart, he approached them, as if he deeply hoped to share their happiness.
"Why aren't you sad?" He asked with a trembling voice.
His eyes flickered as he noticed the pathetic condition he was in: smelly from the fight, sore eyes from the tears he kept suppressing, and afraid to look little kids in the eyes.
'If Aaron saw me, he would surely mock me.' He sighed inwardly, trying to control himself as much as he could.
"We can't be sad forever." A boy answered Stell as he kicked a makeshift ball.
Those words hurt Stell even more. He couldn't be sad forever. He couldn't feel depressed forever. He had to work hard.
However, he couldn't. No matter how much he forced himself, his deep selfishness refused to accept reality. It refused to adapt to it.
"I guess that I became arrogant... Maybe Mother was right." He started lamenting again, leaving the kids alone. In the distance, he heard a kid shouting. "I can't be sad! So... I'll make everyone happy."
The children's shout opened a deep wound he barely suppressed. Even kids were better than him! Suppressing the tears, he continued on his way.
After thinking about his family, Stell concluded that maybe he had acted too rashly. Maybe they cared for the selfish person that he was.
'It's too late for regrets.' He shook his head, wandering the streets again.
At some point, he found an empty building and climbed to the top with an Earth Pillar.
'Will I get arrested for damaging public property?' He wondered as he looked at the pillar.
Lying on a roof, he stared at the night sky. It was the end of his second day in the new world.
So much happened that he would have never guessed that only two days had passed.
With a sigh, he admired the stars. Since he was a kid, he loved watching the stars.
As he remembered his childhood, he couldn't help but chuckle as he teared up. 'No! I am a man. I can't cry.'
He tried convincing himself to stay strong. It was unknown whether it was due to his pride as a man or the possible breakdown that might occur once he dropped his guard.
Shaking his head, he dismissed the depressing thoughts.
"Are they unique as well? Is that stupid law making each and every one unique?" he wondered, staring at the stars.
"Ahh..." His throat trembled as he sighed.
Stell. That was the name his mother gave him. Yes, it was unique. After all, his parents never expected a boy.
The name they wanted to give their daughter was Stella. A name with a simple translation but a very profound meaning.
'Star.' Stell thought as he admired the view. Although he couldn't describe it, he felt like the starry sky was much more beautiful, as if every star was unique, carved into the sky with love.
Since he had learned the meaning of his name, Stell had started loving the starry sky. He felt as if he were looking at the wonder of the universe, at the unknown magic that humans could only admire but never approach.
With stars reflecting in his eyes, Stell drew a line with his childhood. Remembering the scene he had done so many times, he lifted his hand, trying to catch a star.
However, no matter how hard he gripped, no star was caught. Then, he saw a shooting star pass right by his hand.
Like a child, he muttered with a touch of melancholy in his tone. "I wish to be the brightest star, the star that will outshine all others. I wish to be THE star."
Admiring the view, he muttered the same wish again. He didn't know how many times he had done it that night. He didn't know how many times he had done it as a child. And yet, it was his life's sole goal. It was the core of his existence.
No world was interesting to him if he couldn't shine.
Maybe it was selfish, maybe it was childish, and maybe it was a futile dream, but Stell wished to try.
Remembering the crushing difference between the protagonists and himself, Stell bitterly chuckled.
With a final glance at the beautiful sky, Stell jumped from the roof, intending to meet with Felix.