Alhazier was bored again - the same he had been the day before, and the day before that, and that, and that - you get the picture. He certainly had.
He missed the outside world. He missed being able to drink, eat, smoke, and most of all - fuck beautiful women. More than that, he missed the feel of air on his face. It had been so gross in the little box his father had sealed his head in, and although he couldn't see it, he was positive some kind of fungus had grown on the inside.
Whatever. He was knee...er...nose deep - did it matter? The point is, he had started a newly put together tune with words that were nonsensical and tangential. It was just another day in the box. Nothing more, nothing less.
That was the expectation, though.
Instead he silenced his tune as the container he had been stuck in for what felt like a trillion years started to jostle. It felt a lot like his left arm back a few decades ago that had probably been swept a way by a storm or something and had come to rest somewhere cool.
Once the lid opened, he was already looking up to see the first glimmer of light, and the thing or person who saved him.
He had been right - the crystal he was held in while buried in that box had become gross and foggy. So at first it was just a mix of musty grey and green.
Part of him wanted to speak, but he rather wanted to wait and give the mysterious entity a surprise when they finally got a look at him (it had been so long since he had pulled a prank).
He was expecting a man, or a kid, or some rugged explorer -- but instead he saw two gorgeous blue eyes and deep red, shiny hair that belonged to one of the most fairest faces he had ever seen.
"Well hello there, gorgeous" He greeted with a grin that would fend off anyone - but he was positive it was his voice that bothered her as she dropped the case and stepped back with a shriek.
"Ow" he said, even though he hadn't felt anything at all.
"That was rude," he followed up indignantly.
"Rude?" She roared back with anger as Alhazier started to laugh.
He insisted with a tone that was clearly satire. "Yeah, rude. Normally people say 'hello' when they meet someone."
"People normally don't open a chest with a head in it that talks, either" she shot back.
"Alright, alright - if I apologize will you pick me up?" Alhazier asked with hope in his tone.
The anonymous female just grunted in reply, but he heard her footsteps come towards him and felt the familiar feeling of being swooped back into air again. This time though, he got a good look at her face and the long fiery red hair that was illustrious in the moonlight.
Her features were soft, and her eyes were bright against her smooth skin. Her heart-shaped face sat upon a slender neck (that he instantly felt the desire to bite), and by the way she dressed - she was someone from money, or nobility because silk wasn't typically for an average citizen.
"Well hello, gorgeous" he greeted, and once more grinned showing teeth that were once his pride and joy. Now they were slimy, and hadn't been cared for - and even he could feel the uncomfortable velvet upon the surface of his teeth.
She reared back and made an audible, 'augh' in response.
"See, now you're being rude." Alhazier stated matter-of-factly.
"Oh stop it. If you saw yourself you'd have the same reaction," she replied flatly and rolled her deep blue eyes.
"Is it truly that bad? I was told I was rather handsome back in the day..." he sighed over dramatically and feigned sadness. The truth was, he had run out of sadness a long time ago. All he had left was madness and a sick sense of humor.
"You're gross." She answered.
"Aw. First person I've seen in possibly hundreds of years and she's some mean woman. What a cruel fate," he spoke and looked off elsewhere as if he had spoken to an invisible friend.
"Well you're not the only one disappointed. I came here looking for an artifact. You are not an artifact. You're a....what are you?" She asked and raised an eyebrow of suspicion.
"I am not a what. I am a who. Prince Alhazier Varkys at your service -as much service as I could be, anyway. Simple story - disappointment of the family, got into trouble, daddy wasn't happy, and before I know it, I'm being seized and cut into several pieces, and then shipped out to places unknown...."
"Dear God. What did you do that was so bad?" She looked surprised, but he swore she had faked it - a little too much of an over-reaction, you know?
Azier just grinned. "Oh- haha - I was trying to get drunk, and thought that some potion was a powerful wine, but it ended up being my father's backup plan when he was facing death. He caught Velvet Blood Disease and I sort of ruined his plans. Jokes on me - no wine, and I'm immortal forever." He explained like it was the back-drop of a sitcom.
"Who are you to be in what I assume is the remnants of my castle - and how did you even find this chest? My father had it sealed up pretty good," he asked.
"Princess Ilsandra. I was here looking for a precious ingredient in order to reverse a bad decision I didn't even make. My father sold me off to this Duke in a rival kingdom in hopes to gain his influence and take over their territory. It's something I need for a potion that will turn a mirror into a portal, and use that portal to talk to my past self." Ilsandra explained.
"Oooh, a princess? I haven't see one of you in a long time. I once had a harem of princesses - but none of them were as lovely as you, Ilsandra." He didn't even have a torso or a dick to use - and yet here he still tried to charm the pants off of a lady. Classic. He was happy to have not allowed his father to break his personality after all these years. He was pretty proud of that.
"Are you serious? You're a head in a box, and you're flirting with me?" She asked and gave him a glare.
"What can I say? I'm a sucker for pretty ladies....and seriously, you're absolutely stunning. If I had hands, I'd have to tie them behind my back to stop the urge to feel your skin."
"Ew. Listen here, Alhazier" she started, but was cut off by him.
"Hee hee, that rhymed."
Ilsandra stared at him with a murderous glare and waited to make sure he had ceased his foolishness before she continued again. "Are you finished? Listen - I'm under no obligation to bring you with me. In fact, I could just throw your head into the sea and let you deal with that yourself. So maybe be nice to me before you get a different perspective of the world."
"Is that so? Well that's a shame. I happen to know the ingredients you need to make that very potion. I also know where the ingredients grow, too. So how about this, Princess? You help me get back my body parts, and I'll help you make that potion so you can stop that contract you're in?" He offered in hopes she would say yes.
"Really - and how long would that take? Two, three, maybe four hundred years?" She cut him down quickly.
"Well it's either that, or be stuck where you are for an eternity. Or go buy it, or find someone with a recipe. I'm sure you tried that already though, haven't you?" He challenged and looked up at her with two dangerous red eyes that he often used to get his way. He hadn't bought her story, but he could play along with the best of them.
She pursed her lips as he had hit the nail right on the head, and instead of admit it, she just looked away.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Where did you even hear about Silver Teardrops from? That's an old story," he asked with a pleased look on his face now that he knew he had her.
"One of the older women of my clan told me a story about some man who went back in time to save his love from being killed at their wedding. I figured I could do the same thing, but for me and not being sold off to some gross man who feels as though showering is rubbing himself down in scented lard."
"Huh. Well then I take it you don't know it take a year to brew, too?"
"Really!?" Ilsandra shouted out with frustration and huffed through her nose.
"Really. Listen, though. I may have been the youngest, but I was also the most clever and the strongest of my brothers. My father was terrified of me along with his rage - or at least I think so. At any case - if you can get my body back together, I can protect you from your prison guard Duke." He offered and then batted his eyes like it would sway her in some way.
"How do I know you won't just bail on me after I help you?"
"Hmmm. Gentleman's word? I've got nothing. You'll just have to take a gamble and see that I mean what I say. Unless you have a better offer around?" Alhazier cheekily replied.
"Fine...but you had better be able to figure out where you body parts are. I'm not going to babysit you. If I do find a better offer before your parts are put back together, then I'll leave you wherever we are. How's that for an addition? Think of it as an insurance policy." She bartered well - and he had nothing to refute her.
"Very well. We'll both take a gamble, then. Now - take me to the study. My torso should be in there somewhere. My father said he had it especially mounted in his bedroom so he could look at his handiwork as he died. If we're lucky, it's still there.." Alhazier triumphed and smiled in his win.