I am reminded of constant calls from my dad, and now I am in no mood to joke around.
"Oh, it is." He tried to annoy me hoping to get a reaction but when I didn't he turned serious.
"You tensed about something?" he asked, concern lacing his voice.
"I am fine." It was just a moment of carelessness that I let my emotions slip.
He stared at me like he won't buy that.
Of course whom I was kidding he can tell at a glance whether I am fine or not.
Ugh! He won't let it go now.
"Dad's been pressuring me into seeing guys lately, nothing much." I said.
My father is bent on marrying me off. He is just trying to get into my life and tell me that he has authority to take decisions. It has always been like this.
He really thinks that he can do whatever he wants with my life. Even though that's what I have done all my life. Still, I am not going to ruin it just because of him.
Kabir's jaw hardened at my words. I didn't delve into it. I just blurted out a big problem that I didn't have the time to think about.
I just revealed another information in order to avoid the previous one.
"Don't tell me that you are going to listen to him."
"Of course not. He can't force me to marry someone that's against law."
Kabir looked at me as if he was not convinced because of my answer. He is right though. If my dad were to insist me to marry a guy I would agree eventually.
"I have just agreed that I will see the one he selected and I can reject them if I didn't liked any."
"You are going to ruin your life." He said as if I didn't know that already.
"At least you don't say like that. You should support me right."
"I would support you if you would fight against him." he said sternly.
"Kabir not this again." I don't want to think about that right now.
We have had this conversation countless times. I don't know I just always lack the courage to go against him.
"No matter how he is he is still my father." I say.
"The one who never acted once as your father." He replied with a deadpan expression.
I know I am in the wrong too. I think that's what we do in relations we ignore a person's wrong doings just because they are related to us.
My father used to run a business till I was ten, then due to some unexpected events he suffered losses and had to close it down.
We were left with nothing at that time. My mother offered to help but he refused saying what a woman would do, and that it was not her place to do anything.
Instead he started gambling leaving us in more debts than we already had. My mother had no choice but to stand against him otherwise I and my sister would have starved to death.
He tried to use force on her but my mother was a warrior she took us away. Dad came back to ask for forgiveness when my mother was diagnosed with blood cancer.
My mother forgive him thinking that we would have no guardian if she was not there.
I was seventeen when my mother passed away, and my dad showed his true colors.
He never supported us, I had to work different jobs to pay for me and my sister's expenses.
He would often criticize us because women were not supposed to work according to him.
Surprisingly he was not at all hostile towards Kabir even when he was my best friend. In fact he treats Kabir very well.
I don't know if that's because Kabir is rich or it's because he is a man and dad thought of him as his son.
Kabir and I stared at each other. No one backing down. I sighed softly.
I knew he was right. I just can't bring myself to admit it.
"Let's leave this topic, ok I don't want to think about it."
"Okay." We both laid back in silence. I should not have said that.
We end up like this every time I mention my dad.
They don't understand why I do this. It's because I am a coward. I don't have to go and confront my dad. Also, somewhere in the deepest corner of my heart I still hope or my dad to become nice one day.
We were a happy family once, after all. Those memories are deeply rooted in my chest.
People say that you forgot all the memories when you were young, but I remember everything.
And I saw everything too.