Causing pain is my duty
Misery is my city
Self hatred is my ability
My dearest savior
I truly possess gullibility
Could you be my knight in shining armor?
Not an admirer but an advisor
And save me with your unearthly beauty .....
Asad updated his journal and kept it under his bed.
Three weeks went by in a blur and Asad couldn't find his savior. He searched all places possible but she was no where to be seen.
Throughout the three weeks that had passed, Kamal had been by Asad's side. Showing him round and introducing him to people but Asad being his usual self gave off his cold demeanor and scared everyone away but he was trying to adapt even though he won't admit it.
Asad found out that Kamal was a public figure but in a negative way and he was actually his senior with a year, his whole group were. Noor was an up coming public figure, that's why people were sending death glares his way when he hurt her feelings.
He still hasn't apologized till date and he wasn't planning to... well not any time soon.
During his free time, Asad goes to the gym, not to burn calories but memories instead, imagining Karima was a punching bag , he would punch it till he had no more strength to punch again.
Apart from going gym, Asad would sometimes go to the river to calm his mind down, other times he would hope to meet his savior there but she never returned.
Asad would sometimes drink when he felt like nothing was working and other times he would just go to the library and bury himself in books.
Asad was starting to get along with Kamal but was still giving him a hard time, Kamal was still glad with the little improvements.
He usually gave Asad space when he needed it and bugged Asad when he felt like it.
After his normal class, Asad went to the library to study since it was Friday, no more classes till Monday. He met Noor and some other people there who sent glares his way in which he ignored.
He sat besides Noor and observed her childish behavior but said nothing.
He read for awhile and left the library. On his way back he saw a feminine figure in the hallway.
He blinked several times and realized it wasn't a dream.
Asad was shocked to see her standing not to far away from him.
She smiled as she walked his way and pulled him in for a hug, he held back the tears that threatened to fall as he released the hug.
"Asad, you look ... different" she smiled observing that his hair is slightly longer and he looks calm instead of disturb.
His eye bags were not as bad as before either.
"You look different as well"... his eyes were calm and his facial expression was not readable as always.
"You are spending the weekend with me, we will bring you back on Sunday"... She stated and he simply nodded in agreement.
"What happened to your phone, I have been calling it but it has not been reachable for a while"...Aunt Nafisa frowned.
"I broke it"... he shrugged like it was no big deal.
"You broke it".. Aunt Nafisa's eyes widen.
She bought him that phone with her hard earn money.
Asad shrug remember how he broke it. He sat by the river where he met his savior, intoxicated and frustrated at the moment and the phone kept on ringing so he just shattered it into pieces then threw it into the water.
"I am not getting you a new one"... she frowned.
She got him that phone as a gift before he left for university.
"I know".. Asad said in a flat tone as he noticed how his actions hurt her.
"I will pack a few things and meet you at the parking lot"...Asad states and walks away.
He goes to his hostel only to meet it empty. Kamal probably hooked up with another sloth... as usual.
Asad shook his head at his cousin's dirty behavior as he packed somethings for the weekend.
He took his leave and went to the packing lot. He got into the car and met his Aunt Aisha and little Hiba . She looks bigger then he remembered and now her facial features resembled Najib's facial features.
They were almost the same.
He stared outside the tinted windows of the car and saw someone walking with Kamal.
It was yet again another female.
'Kamal will always be Kamal'.... Asad thought as he continued watching them.
Kamal flashed a charming smile towards the female's way and she turned her face away from him, facing the parking lot instead.
Asad's eyes widened as he stared at the lady.
It was her... his savior. Happily chatting with Kamal.
He was worried about her. Well , not that worried but he searched for her for three good weeks and she is here happily chatting with his cousin.
'Why would she even want to stay with you?'... a little voice in his head says.
"Asad!"... Aunt Nafisa's voice echoed in the car.
Asad raised a brow as he looked at her , waiting to her what she was going to say.
"I have been talking to you since but you weren't even listening"...Aunt Nafisa frowned.
"Ohh , I didn't hear".. Asad nonchalantly stated as he looked outside the window ,he saw the remaining guys in Kamal's gang surrounded Nawal.
'What are they doing, they are bad news . They will just sleep with her and dump her'... Asad felt a sting in his heart. The thought of it stirred something in him.
Jealousy?
'Why do you even care?'... the small voice in his head asks.
'I don't care...I just... I don't care. Why should I? She didn't bother to look for me'... Asad said to himself.
Aunt Nafisa heaved a sigh and turned on the Ignition, she tired of talking to Asad who wasn't listening to her.
She started driving and spotted Kamal then halted the car close to him.
"Asad see Kamal".. Nafisa happily exclaimed and smiled.
She knew that Kamal was Asad's only friend when they were younger.
"Yeah , yeah.. can we just go ?".. Asad asked and Aunt Nafisa's smile dropped .
"Nas Nas, let's just go. Little Hiba is tired"... Aunt Aisha spoke for the first time since when Asad entered the car.
She wasn't in the mood for any drama.
Nafisa gave up and drove out of the campus.
Asad was surprised when he saw his Aunt parked her car in front of a house that was not to far from his university.
He gave Aunt Aisha a questioning look.
"We moved here, Nas Nas needed a break and time away from that old house. It held to many memories of her and her husband so she need a timeout"... Aunt Aisha explained.
Asad's gaze then fell on Aunt Nafisa whose facial expression was sad and that made Asad feel bad.
It was his fault.
When they all stepped out of the car, Nafisa was quick to rush in leaving them outside.
Asad felt worse now, his self regret started beating him up.
"Let's go inside..." Aisha led the way and Asad followed.
Aunt Aisha showed Asad his new room and left.
Asad heaved a sigh and took a look around his new room then decided to take a shower.
As he got into the bathtub, hot water hit his skin making his muscles relax.
When was the last time he enjoyed taking a bath?
He didn't stay to long in the shower because he did not want to get use to it. He will soon back to school.
He got out of the shower and wore a pair of baggy clothes then let his hair fall against his face.
He walked downstairs and let all gazes fall on him.
He walked to the dining table and took a seat opposite them.
Aunt Nafisa smiled as she glanced at him while Aunt Aisha gave him a bored look.
"Mama...Mamaa...aaa"... Little Hiba pointed at the food on the table.
"She talks?"... Asad knitted his eyebrows together as he looked at the feminine version on Najib.
"Yeah"... Aunt Nafisa pulled little Hiba's cheek while Asad stared at her.
They all dished out their food and ate in silence.
Asad enjoyed the food and wanted to savor every bite of the food but left it half way.
He doesn't want to get use to this cause it won't last. He has school on Monday.... He kept on reminding himself.
He pulled his chair back and stood up making both his Aunts give him a questioning look.
He ignored there gazed and walked straight to his room and fell flat on his bed.
The bed was so soft unlike the rock he slept with in school.
He let himself enjoy the bed and eventually dozed off.
"He is weirder than before"... Aisha said to Nafisa as they watched little Hiba sleep.
"He is changing for the better, don't be to hard on him".. Nafisa defended him.
"I will kill you!"... The duo heard Asad's voice echo around the house.
Aisha and Nafisa exchanged looks before heading upstairs.
They turned on the light and met Asad punching the wall....mercilessly. Blood from his fists stained the neatly painted white walls.
"Asad stop that"... Nafisa rushed to his side and pulled him away from the wall.
His breathing was uneven and his eyes were bloodshot red.
"Look at how you bruised your hand"... she examined his hand but not to long because he jerked them out hers.
"Asad what's the meaning of this?".. Aisha spoke.
Asad's eyes darted around as they turn back to normal.
"I am sorry"... he stated as he walks out of the room.
"I think he was having another nightmare"...Nafisa spoke.
"I pray he doesn't let his past destroy his future"... Aisha heaved a sigh as they went in search of Asad.
Meanwhile Asad left the house in need of a drink. He can't take this anymore. He needed to clear his mind but there was no bar close by.
Asad heaved a sigh and decided to sit on the sloppy ground of his Aunt's house. He stared at the sky and saw the full moon. The stair were scattered around in the sky but then so was his mind.
Shortly afterwards Nafisa and Aisha joined him outside.
"Asad are you okay?"... Nafisa said as she sat besides him.
"You made us worried child".. Aisha spoke but Asad didn't reply to any of them.
He was lost in his own world of thoughts.
Never did I know
The worst place
To live in
Could be
My very own mind !
***
The following day, Nafisa prepared breakfast and set up the table for everyone.
Little Hiba was seated playing around with her toys and Aisha was by Hiba's side supervising her.
Asad walked down with eye bags under his eyes.
"Good morning"... he greeted as he sat down on the dining table.
"Asad dear.. how are you?" Aunt Nafisa smiled.
"Fine"... he avoid her gaze.
"How was your night?"... Aunt Aisha asked.
"I have had better nights"... Asad replied.
Silence took over but after a while Asad decided to break the silence.
"I...I am sorry"... Asad breath out causing Aisha and Nafisa to look up.
They duo exchanged looks before gazing at Asad.
He looked down waiting to hear their reply.
He took the whole night , practicing how to say sorry. It wasn't easy but he had to say it.
They don't deserve all what he is doing to them.
Not even one bit of it.
"For what dear?"... Aunt Nafisa asked.
"Yesterday".
Both Aisha and Nafisa smiled as they realized Asad was not happy about his actions and he was accepting his mistake.
"Let's forget about that. It's okay. It's all in the past"... Nafisa walked up to him and patted him on the shoulder.
"You can genuinely happy if you also learn to let go of certain things"... Nafisa said in addition before serving Asad some pancakes.
"Aisha get your lazy ass over here and eat something"... Nafisa stated and Aisha lazily walked to the dining table.
"Asad dear, We are going shopping after we have our breakfast"...Nafisa began.
Asad understood where she was going to and nodded in response "I will come".
Nafisa smiled due to his response. Asad was slowly changing but one thing kept wondering in her mind.
Who was he planning on killing?
***
"Mama...".... Little Hiba pointed at a squishy toy that was in the supermarket.
"It's okay, mama will get it for you"... Nafisa chuckled as she placed the toy in the cart.
"Asad look at this cloths, do you like them"... Nafisa asked and Asad simply nodded in response.
It was a set of causal tops and trousers that will suite his cold demeanor.
Nafisa almost emptied the place in the name of buying Asad cloths.
Most of the things they shopped for was either for Asad or Hiba, a very few amount of things were for the house.
From the supermarket, they all went to a bookstore.
Nafisa wanted to buy Asad some story books . It helped her get her mind off her late husband and let go of the past so maybe it will help him as well.
"Asad do you like books?"... Nafisa smiled as she gazed at him.
'He is quite the writer so he ought to love books'.... Nafisa thought.
Asad nodded in response and that was the green light for Nafisa to buy him as much books as she could.
As Nafisa and Aisha were shopping for books based on self development and self improvement , Asad was staring at a particular book.
It was titled "Married to the devil's son".
Asad picked up the book and flip through a few pages.
He found the book interesting and decided to buy it with his own money.
"Your room will look like a library by the time you are done arranging everything"... Aisha chuckle as they walked out of the book store.
"Honestly"... Nafisa commented while Asad remained quiet. He had already started reading his new book and was enjoying every bit of it.
That evening, they all stayed in the living room and watched a movie together. Asad was also there but reading his book.
The day went by and they all retired for the night.
Asad kept on reading his book till he dozed off and had a different dream. A peaceful one, where he saw her.
His savior.
He wondered why she did not save him when he drowned.
'Perhaps she has finally given up on me as well'... he thought.
The following day , Asad was awoken by Aunt Aisha.
"Sorry to burst your bubble child but you have to wake up and face reality"... she spoke as he woke up.
He sat up straight and rubbed his eyes to drive the sleep away.
"Get ready"... she ordered and walked out of the room.
'Doesn't this woman have a life?'... Asad asked himself as he rose up from the bed and stretched his limbs.
He did his morning routine and headed downstairs with his things and the extra gifts his Aunt bought for him.
He made sure he wore on one of the top and trouser that his Aunt bought for him just to make her happy.
Nafisa was feeding little Hiba but stopped to take a quick glance at him ,she then gave him a warm smile.
"I will miss you"... She dropped little Hiba and walked up to him.
Asad was quiet as he listened to her, he was going to miss her as well but won't admit it to her.
"I will come around"... he stated as he watched her pat him on the shoulder.
Asad then walked out.
"Child"... Aunt Aisha called out as she spotted him.
"Get a life woman"... Asad commented out for her to hear.
"Asad, don't be rude"... Nafisa who was coming out with little Hiba stated.
They all got in and drove out of the house.
In a few minutes, they were at Asad's school.
They all got out and help Asad take his things to his hostel.
After everything had been taken, Asad accompanied them back to the parking lot.
On their way back, a young man bumped into Nafisa causing her to fall .
"Watch it old hag"... he muttered as he walked away.
Both Aisha and Asad were shocked.
Aisha kept Hiba and helped Nafisa up while Asad ran after the guy.
"How dare you"... Asad jerked the guy up and began to punch him.
He felt a rush of adrenaline run through his veins as he threw punches towards the guy's way.
Nafisa and Aisha ran after Asad to stop him.
Meanwhile Asad beat the guy to a pulp and threw him to the ground.
"I lost my mother once, I won't lose her again"... Asad warned.
Nafisa and Aisha who were behind heard.
'He considers me a mother???'....Nafisa felt a warmth in her heart.
"Idiot"... Asad kicked the guy who was almost lifeless.
"Asad it's enough"... Aisha commanded and Asad simply obeyed.
He averted his gaze to his Aunts and heaved a sigh.
"Take care"... he stated as he ran his hands through his hair.
"Take care Asad"... Nafisa and Aisha state in unison as they watch him walk away.
Asad walked back to his hostel still feeling the urge to fight. He sat for a while in his room before deciding to go to the gym.
He met his favorite punching bag as he walked in. He did some weight lifting and basic exercises before heading to his punching bag.
He ended up whiling away time there before heading back to his hostel.
Morning arrived sooner than expected and Asad was back to his public bath again.
He already missed the bathtub in his Aunt's house.
He hurriedly took his bath and rushed back to the room to dress.
He made sure he wore on another pair of clothes that his Aunt bought for him and headed to class.
As usual, people stared at him as he walked into the class but not with anger, they stared at him with admiration this time.
He rested and slept well within this two day that he spent in his Aunt's house making him look more appealing to the eyes so people just had to stay and stare in awe.
Asad ignored their gazes and took a seat behind.
"Tear a sheet of paper"... his geography lecturer had started with his tests again.
Asad was glad he read for a while when he was in his Aunt's house .
After he was done with all classes, he grabbed his book from the hostel and headed straight to the library.
He didn't deny the fact that he was enjoying the story book.
It was peaceful at the library, Asad was so engrossed in his book that he didn't take notice of who sat besides him.
He frowned as he realized he had come to the end of the book and it was not complete. It was like there was a continuation.
He stood up and met her seated opposite him. She was also engrossed in the book she was reading but could feel his hot gaze on her.
She stared at him dead in the eyes and felt heat pass through her skin making her look away.
Asad didn't utter a word , he just stared at her in awe.
She looks prettier than he remembered.
"I am glad you are still alive"... his savior spoke in her angelic voice , jokingly as she gazed at him again.
"Yeah"... Asad replied as he walked towards the shell in search of the book.
"Do you know the name of book 2?".. she asked and Asad simply shook his head in a negative manner, indicating no.
"Let me help you check,I read the book not to long ago"... she stood up from her seat and walked towards the shelf as well.
"Return of the devil"... she stated.
Asad was perplex for a moment... 'Was i the devil that returned'.
Nawal noticed that he seemed confused and smiled.
"That's the name of the book 2. Didn't you see the name at the back of book 1?"... she asked.
Asad stared at her before answering "I..." he became speechless for a while and darted his eyes around the library before returning his gave to her again.
And yet again, he could not form a simple sentence as he stared at her which was unlike him .
"No"... he was quick to say then he went back to looking for the book.
The duo spotted it at the same time and attempt picking it at the same time causing their hands to touch.
Asad felt fire run through his veins from her touch. He was quick to jerk his hand from hers.
"Excuse me"... Asad cleared his throat as he walked out of the library.
As he stepped foot out of the library , he released a sigh he didn't know he was holding.
He felt like he could finally breathe .
'What's wrong with me?'... He asked himself as he walked back to the hostel.
He met his cousin on the bed , relaxing.
"Asad, you're back?".... Kamal pointed out as Asad lays on his bed.
"No , I am on my way back"... Asad rolled his eyes.
"I see, that's by the way. There is going to be a grand party tonight. Wanna come"... Kamal wiggled his eyebrows.
"Pass"... Asad brought out his book to read.
"It's a lie, you must go. How more parties will you keep on declining"... Kamal playfully glared at him as he stood up.
Asad simply shrugged in response as he began to read his book.
Kamal snatched the book from Asad ,gaining his attention.
"What is it Kamal, give me my book"... Asad was starting to get annoyed.
"I will give you when we are back from back party"..Kamal smirked.
"You won't give up , will you?"... Asad rolled his eyes as he laid flat on his bed, preparing his mind for a party.
"No sir"....Kamal grinned .
***
"You see , he does care for that Aunt of his"... Anas frowned as he spoke.
His body was still aching from the series of beating Asad gave him.
"I see"... big boss strokes his chin and pretends to be deep in thoughts.
"Get close to him, become his friend. I will enroll you in his school."... Big boss states.
"What! Hell no!"... Anas wasn't ready to be beaten up again.
For a young guy, Asad was strong.
"Do it or I kill you"... Big boss spoke in a serious tone making Anas eyes widened.
Anas felt a lump in his throat as he stared at big boss.
'How on earth am I going to become friends with that dead living soul'... Anas thought as he slowly gave big boss a nod.
"Good"....big boss smiled.