~*FLASHBACK*~
I'm in the living room, sitting on the couch while watching a funny movie. I couldn't laugh even though the show says it will be hilarious.
I looked down at my arms and legs. Bruises, cuts, and some wounds almost cover half of my body. My naive mind thought that one single mistake equals unmeasurable pain. So, I let this rule be my guide believing this would make my parents happy.
I smiled between my sobs last week for being beaten with Daddy's belt. Yesterday a slap hit me across the face from Mommy's hand. I start to wonder. 'Where will they hit me again next?' But it's okay, at least they can see me that way.
My useless mother is in the kitchen doing a common work of a wife inside the house. Nagluluto siya para sa magaling kong ama na kakarating lang.
"Hon? I'm home" he calls her wife who's in the kitchen preparing the dinner. Inilapag niya ang suitcase niya and loosen his neck tie while pulling his sleeves back up.
"Oh, you're here? Buti bumalik ka pa? How was your business trip out of the country?" plastik na bungad niya sa ama kong hindi na lamang pinansin ang pangalawang tanong sa kaniya.
"It's going well, as usual stressful but I did enjoy" nakangiti pang sabi ng ama ko at astang lalapit sa ina ko ngunit napahinto rin siya.
"Ahh sobrang nag-enjoy ka pala kaya hindi mo man lang sinagot ang mga text at calls ko. Sobrang ganda ba doon o marami lang talagang magaganda doon?
"What are you talking about Allisten??" kunot noong tanong niya.
"You know what I'm talking about but nevermind sweetheart. Are you hungry?" mahihimigan at makikita mo sa ngiti niyang nagpipigil lang siya sa galit habang agressive na naghihiwa ng mga ingridients.
"What do you want to have?"
"I-It's up to you" nag-aalangang sagot naman niya at hindi na lumapit sa umuusok niyang asawa ngayon.
Itinuon kong muli sa tv ang atensyon ko. Mayamaya ay nakita kong nagtatawanan ang mga character na nasa cartoon movie na 'to. Pakiramdam ko ay ako ang pinagtatawanan kaya't pinatay ko na lamang. Mas exciting kasi ang eksena dito sa bahay kesa sa ipinapalabas. I stood up and went to one side and watched my parents screaming at each other.
"Eh to na naman ba tayo?! Nakakasawa na ang pagiging delusyunada mo sa totoo lang! Wala ka ng ibang ginawa kundi ang bungangaan ako kapag dumadating ako"
"May kasalanan ka at alam mo yan! Hindi kita sisigaw sigawan ngayon kung matino ka!"
Hindi nakasagot ang ama ko.
"You're hungry right?! What do you want to have first the main course or the side dish? Oh try the appetizer first para naman ganahan kang hayop ka!" at hinagis ng ina ko ang plato malapit sa paanan ng ama ko.
*PLAAAKK!*
Nabasag yon at nagtalsikan ang mga bubog. "Try this soup also" aniya saka tumalikod at binuhat ang isang bowl ng mainit na sabaw na kahahango niya lang mula sa stove. Humarap siyang nakangiti bago niya ibinagasak sa sahig at napaatras naman ang ama ko dahil don.
"Allisten enough of that! You're creating a mess!"
Di pa nakuntento ang ina ko at binato sa mukha niya mismo ang pagkaing wari ko ay dessert.
"You're the mess here Williard! Ang kapal ng mukha mong humarap sa'kin ng nakangiti. Magsama kayo ng mga kalantari mo!!"
He couldn't stop himself from rushing to my mother, and he stopped her from attempting to take the knife beside her. He slapped her with such force that she almost fell into the pot.
I laughed while watching them. It's like I'm in front of a whole live action movie. I weigh the scene to see who will give up first and lose. Ngunit kahit na nag-aaway sila at alam nilang narito ako ay hindi man lang nila naisip na nakikita ko sila. Sabagay isa lang naman akong anino sa pamamahay na 'to.
~*END OF FLASHBACK*~
I just sighed at one of the memories that keeps coming back to me. Simula ng magkaroon ako ng isip ay never kong naramdamang parte ako sa pamilya nila. I'm the child they only have pero parang dose ang mga anak nila dahilan para di ako mapansin. Hindi naman sa naghahanap lang ako ng atensyon. I want to feel that they also care, that they love me, that I'm belong in the family.
I did things that I thought would make them happy but even if I was the smartest or be the best in school, it will never be enough for them. Kahit noong grumaduate ako ng elementary and secondary high school, kahit anino man lang nila ay hindi ko nakita.
'Biruin mo 'yon nasurvive ko yung buong childhood ko kasama sila?' natawa ako sa loob loob ko.
Pinagmasdan ko pa ang sarili ko sa harap ng salamin habang panay ang tulo ng tubig mula sa ulo ko habang nasa shower. Hinawakan ko ang tattoo na nasa may ibaba ng collarbone ko. Kung tutuusin ay hindi naman siya ganoon kalaki pero napakahiwaga sa'kin. Hindi naman ako nagtanong sa mga magulang ko kung ano man ang ibig sabihin nito.
Bigla akong napaisip. 'What does it have to do with those assh*les me having this??'
Napailing ako upang pigilan ang sarili na mag-isip at binilisan na ang pagkilos bago pa mag-alasingko ng hapon.
I'm wearing a black shirt, a jeans along with my black cap and rubber shoes para kung tugisin man ako ay mabilis lang akong makakatakas. Dinala ko na rin ang patalim ko at inipit sa likod ko bago pinaandar ang motor ko.
Dumiretso ako sa Weflonside at agad kong nahanap ang coffee shop na malapit sa train station saka nagpark. Nakita ko na ring may mga guards sa palibot ng shop na malamang ay mga tauhan nila.
Pumasok ako at hinanap ng mga mata ko kung sino man ang Rexor na binanggit ng ungas na 'yon. Nahagip ng mga mata ko ang pamilyar na matandang lalaki na nakaupo sa pinakadulong table. Actually di naman siya matandang matanda na, pero malamang ay nasa senior years na siya.
I walked up to him but I don't know if he noticed me. He was holding documents and seemed to be examining them. Naupo ako sa harap niya at hindi inalis ang paningin sa binabasa niya ngunit bigla rin siyang nagsalita.
"Well, you're just in time" aniya pagkatapos tingnan ang relos niya at ngumiti sa akin. Tiningnan ko lang siya habang nakapandekwatro at sumandal sa upuan.
Biglang may dumating na waiter at inilapag sa table ang dalawang tasa ng kape. Pinanood ko pa siyang humigop sa tasa niya. "Go on. Walang lason yan" pagtukoy niya sa isa pang tasa ng kape na nasa harap ko habang nakangiti pa rin.
Humigop naman ako saglit saka siya muling tiningnan. "Kayo ho si Rexor?"
"That's right. How's your arm?" aniya ng mapansin ang nakabenda ko pa ring braso.
Napakunot ako ng noo. "Why don't we just jump to the business, sir? Ano pa ho ba ang kailangan niyo sa'kin, eh kaya niyo naman atang alamin kahit di niyo ako tanungin?"
He suddenly laughed and took another sip of his coffee.
'Why is this person so weird?'
"I'm not here to ask you questions. I'm here for your questions"
Napatitig ako lalo dahil sa sinabi niyang 'yon. "Williard and Allisten Lovail was a former acquaintance. They already had you when we met them"
"We? Who are you referring to?" Biglang bumalik yung waiter at naglapag ng pagkain.
"The Winsztonn Family"
"I have nothing to do with whatever connection my parents have with the Winsztonns, haven't I?"
"Wrong"
"Do you mind if I ask how's your life with your parents before? Hatred was taking over you as I look in your eyes everytime they are mentioned"
"Nice. It's been nice to live with them."
"Liar"
"Tsh. Obvious naman po pagiging sarcastic ko, di niyo ho ba gets?"
"HAHAHAH you're funny"
'What the heck?!'
"I get what you mean but can you be more nice when talking to other people? I can have you killed for that but because you barely know me I can forget about that"
Biglang nag-iba ang environment sa pagitan namin ng sabihin niya yon. Maybe he looks kind because of his approach but he's right since I barely know him so probably he's one of the Winsztonn. But the hell I care about the Winsztonn?! Or should I care?
"Sorry Sir"
Hindi ko nagugustuhan ang ganitong pakikitungo. I know bastos ako magsalita at walang preno ang bibig ko ngunit alam ko kung sino ang mga karespe-respeto. But the fact that he is also part of that kidnapping thing, hindi ko siya palalagpasin. But I have this thought also, who he might be para ganito ako kausapin?
"I shouldn't be asking. Ask away"
"Ano hong meron sa Winsztonn family?"
"You're part of a gang but you didn't know about us?"
"I never heard—... oh crap!" anas ko ng maalala nung minsan ay isinama ako ng parents ko sa isang lunch meeting with this so-called 'important persons' when I was 9. "I remember we had lunch at a fancy restaurant with a man and a boy. But I don't have the tiny bit of an idea if they are the Winsztonn aside from my parents called them 'important person'. Can you tell me more about them, Sir?" napangiti siya sa sinabi ko.
"Sure young lady. But... I'm warning you, this will going to be a lot to take in. It will make you question your whole existence or question your worth for living"
"I'm all ears"