James' POV
I had grown accustomed to Raffy's absence. It's been nearly two years since he left, and his return hasn't materialized. The pang of sadness hits me hard because he didn't even contemplate visiting me. Perhaps he's completely forgotten about me. Life has posed its challenges, and I've struggled to navigate them alone. When Raffy left, I was thrust into the demanding role of scavenging solo. On top of that, I deliberately distanced myself from companionship, wanting to hoard every cent I earned. There are moments when I catch myself talking to thin air as if Raffy were still here. It's a bittersweet sensation; those instances are a stark reminder of his absence. During times when my earnings dwindle due to my limited skills, it's as though I can almost hear his voice mocking my cluelessness. My income has declined, and the realization struck me that this couldn't persist, particularly since my parents are growing older. There's a looming fear that my mother won't be able to manage daily tasks like laundry, potentially plunging us into turmoil.
In moments of desperation, I contemplated a path that previously seemed unfathomable. I considered using my body to earn money, catering to the desires of gay men, older women, and those who yearned for companionship. It's not a choice I'm proud of, and the discomfort it brings is palpable. In my pursuit of survival, I turned to Rhoda for assistance.
Here I stand, at the very place where Raffy and I once introduced to Rhoda's friends, behind the beauty parlor she owned. "I realized things couldn't continue this way," I voiced my thoughts. "My parents are growing older, and I can't ignore the dire consequences of continuing to earn so little. I needed to explore alternative avenues of income."
Rhoda's reaction shifts between surprise and concern. "That's quite a heavy burden you're shouldering. What did you decide?"
Gathering my resolve, I confess, "I contemplated using my body to make money. I entertained the notion of engaging in... You know, those kinds of activities. That's why I'm here."
Rhoda's expression reflects a mix of astonishment and empathy. "That's a bold step you're taking. Well, I'm here to support you."
With Rhoda's connections and assistance, I delved into a new reality. Clients appeared, and I began earning a daily wage. The range varied – from 500 to 3,000 – contingent on their satisfaction. Over time, I honed my skills in providing sought-after pleasure, leading to word-of-mouth recommendations and a growing clientele.
Amid the routine of this unconventional career path, there are moments when the gravity of the situation crashes down on me, reducing me to tears. I'm painfully aware that I've resorted to these measures solely to provide basic sustenance for my family. Nevertheless, I refuse to be consumed by vulnerability. I've diligently saved money, harboring dreams of securing a more comfortable dwelling. Additionally, I've set my sights on reentering the world of education, necessitating meticulous planning and organization prior to the academic year's commencement. Moreover, I now possess the means to gift my siblings and parents new clothing, as well as enhance my own appearance. A profound transformation has indeed unfolded, and I acknowledge that there's more transformation yet to come. I'm resolute in my determination to press forward until my family's circumstances improve. I stand firm, unwavering in the face of whatever adversities life may hurl my way. Time will not dismantle my resolve.
Approaching my birthday, I'm conflicted about whether to invest energy into preparing for it. My frugality drives me to consider forgoing elaborate celebrations. My family, after all, has always embraced simplicity. The crux of the occasion is our togetherness.
The date arrives – December 29 – my birthday. The day dawns unremarkably, as I had anticipated. Yet, my family's warm and heartfelt "Happy Birthday" greeting catches me off guard. With no concrete plans, I resign myself to the idea of being available for clients. I extend text messages to friends through the new phone I acquired last month. However, responses remain elusive, leading me to relinquish hope.
As the evening's shadows lengthen, and I'm still without any communication, a message finally graces my phone. It's from Glenn – a familiar figure in my life, a regular client I've interacted with for nearly a year.
Text Messages:
Glenn: Hi James, how are you? By the way, Happy Birthday!
James: I'm alright. How about you? Speaking of which, how did you find out it's my birthday? (I recall mentioning it to a client, though I can't recall who.)
Glenn: I'm good. You shared it with me last week. I even inquired if I could drop by your place, and you gave the green light.
James: Ah, right! I remember now. How are you planning to arrive?
Glenn: I hope so. I'm looking forward to seeing you; I've missed you.
James: Sure thing, you're welcome to come. Just a heads up, our place isn't anything fancy. Let me know when you're getting close to Tandang Sora, and I'll meet you at the corner.
Glenn: That's cool, I'm coming to see you, not your house. I'll text you once I'm nearby.
James: Take care. Love you.
Glenn: Haha, you say that, even though I'm not the only recipient of those words from you. Love you too.
Walking towards our rendezvous point, I catch sight of a white car. The sight briefly halts me in my tracks, triggering an onslaught of emotions I'm reluctant to display. Suppressing this rush of feelings, I mustered my composure and steadfastly moved forward, resolute in my pursuit to meet Glenn.
Upon our eventual reunion, I instinctively embraced Glenn. The astonishment in his eyes is unmistakable, almost causing him to pull away. I maintain my grip on his hand and quietly urge him to follow my lead, cautioning against probing too deeply into the current situation. Understanding passes between us, manifesting as a gentle smile on his lips.
Even while delicately navigating this complex scenario, I cannot evade the maelstrom churning within me. The disparity between Raffy's opulent car, his fashionable attire, and the life I've carved out emphasizes the chasm separating our trajectories. Raffy is no longer the person I remember; he's undergone profound changes. Despite mentally bracing myself for this encounter, I remain unprepared for the overwhelming sense of inadequacy that washes over me. In his presence, I'm diminished, as if the strides I've taken pale in comparison to his sweeping transformation.
At this moment, I'm acutely aware that Raffy has spotted me. Yet, I persist in upholding the charade I've initiated. My reluctance to acknowledge his presence isn't rooted in shyness, but rather in an overwhelming sense of embarrassment. I'm haunted by the thought of facing him, the one who has witnessed my current circumstances. So, I choose the facade of contentment, striving to convey that I'm thriving even in his absence. With calculated tenderness, I share affectionate gestures with Glenn, finally redirecting my gaze to Raffy.