After I reached back home and got some rest, I did nothing but waste my time on social media before finally falling asleep very early out of exhaustion…
The next day I woke up to my alarm once again in a lazy mood as I wore my clothes against my will… I didn't want to go to work yet I have to… It'll all be good once I get my payment… Yes… All I need to do is endure the pain until I get the money and then it'll all become better… It'll all feel good once I get the money…
I walk out of my house with nothing going on in my mind other than my wishes to stay at home and keep sleeping…
I walk through the same streets as yesterday but yet something feels different, my urge to kill… My bloodlust… The will to kill I had yesterday all went away leaving me with a hollow heart and an empty face…
For some reason I don't understand… I felt disappointed… Like I missed out on something that could've been very important and valuable to me…
I attempt to ignore my feelings yet I can't get it out of my head… Do I want to kill someone? Is that why I'm feeling empty after that bloodlust went out and the fire that was burning inside of me was turned off?
What is my dream?
I ask myself… I feel like nothing ever felt important to me… Perhaps what I'm lacking is a dream… A goal to add meaning to my life…
I got on the bus determined to find out or at least get a lead to answer these questions…
To my surprise… It didn't take me long to find out that what I want to do with my life has nothing to do with being normal… I want to be something different… I want to achieve greatness throughout my life…
Sigh*!
Will I be able to do such a thing though??? I'm not sure… I'm too average… No, not even average… I feel like I'm even below average…
I need something to change in my life… I need a big change or else I'm just gonna stay a loser forever… But what am I supposed to do? What changes should I implement into my life? I don't know…
No matter how hard I think my head can't seem to come to a final result… Perhaps murder is the only way…
'No! I refuse to believe that's the only way… There must be something else… But what could it be?!?... '
My brainstorming continued until I had gotten a bit too tired and had to fall asleep once again like usual…
I woke up once we had reached the restaurant and lazily got off the bus… I was just too tired… I didn't want to work… But I had to… For the sake of my family…
I repeated yesterday's routine exactly with a bit more work that had to be done… Unfortunately, my boss wasn't generous enough to give me money two days in a row…
The day just passed with absolutely nothing to be mentioned… Everything was boring… Everything was hollow… Nothing had any meaning…
Leaving after my shift was over… The bus was as crowded as ever and felt like we were squashed like a sandwich with barely any room to breathe…
On my way home I continued brainstorming about my dream, the way to achieve greatness but my mind was in no case to make and progress in such a complex subject.
I reached home… Ate some food, wasted some time on the Internet and went back to sleep…
The next came and my previous urge to kill got even lower making me more disappointed… Nothing special happened on that day yet I still had some pretty interesting thoughts while on the bus…
One specific thought led to another and eventually led me to the shocking realization…
Working every day with barely any rest, being told what to do, being dragged around and getting orders every single hour of the day only to return back to my home exhausted with no energy to do anything but sleep…
And all of which was something that made me upset as my subconscious brain was clearly showing me how upset it was with this type of lifestyle…
But whenever that'd happen, my boss would give me a small portion of his money… Leading my mind to think that I'm actually achieving what I want with all of this work but yet, deep down inside of me I know that this amount isn't even close to what I deserve… But It's merely like a tranquillizer… A drug to keep me working hard while others get all the profit.
It was right before my mind drifted to the dream realm while I was in my bed preparing to take some rest after this long day of work that the switch inside of my brain eventually flipped as I finally realized…
I'm a SLAVE!!!