[Ridge]
"What the fuck is this?" His deep voice dipped impossibly lower, containing a barely restrained rage.
"Kadeeth-"
"I get that I missed supper, but did you really feel the need to stay out for hours, and-" He stood up and squinted his green eyes, searching me for something through the dark, "Are you drunk?"
"No, I just-" He laughed. A dry, horrible sound that made my blood curdle.
"You're fucking wasted." With one swift step he stood directly in front of me, invading my personal space.
"Just let me talk dammit." I took a slight step backwards. He's the only person I will ever allow myself to lose ground to. I just need him to calm down.
"Speak then, and maybe answer some of my questions while you're at it." He hissed, "You can start with explaining this situation to me. Whose this? The loud one from the ceremony?"
My own frustration rises up,"You know his name, Kade. You know all the Knight's names."
"So what?"
"So don't be so rude. What's your problem anyway? I'm trying to help out a friend, you know, after you ditched me? Do you really want to piss me off like this right off the bat?!" I can hear my own voice grow louder in my ears, but I can't seem to calm down.
Why is he so angry? He's the one that abandoned our plans, shouldn't I be the one who's upset? Did something actually happen with his father? He's never taken his family issues out on me before.
"Fuck you, Ridge!" There's an edge to his voice, something I recognize from my own experience. I hesitantly tip toe closer. I slowly lift my hands up, like I'm approaching a frightened animal, and grab his arms. He's trembling.
Is that how mad he is? Or is it something else?
"Kade, what happened?" I try to make my voice as quiet and gentle as I can. My nerves are still strung out, and my skin feels itchy and uncomfortable again.
"I- I know something now." He gasps, the breath shaking his whole body.
"What is it, I'll help you." Maybe that's the wrong thing to say. We don't treat each other like we're weak. It's just not how our friendship works. Yet, somehow, it feels like he just needs someone to share this with. This burden, whatever it is.
"I can't tell you." Another shaky breath. He's trying not to cry.
Our roles have been reversed. It wasn't too long ago that I had my own breakdown. I guess men aren't as strong as we originally thought. Or maybe we're just an odd pair. I think I'd be okay with either option.
"You don't have to explain it, but you do need to do something. Anything at all that might help you right now." I bargain.
"Make me a promise then." He shakes my hands off his arms and instead grabs my shoulders in a death grip. His eyes stare directly into mine, although I can't make them out very well in the dark. I wish I'd had the chance to at least light a candle before we started fighting.
"A promise? What is it?" I ask, glancing down at the hands trying to crush my biceps. He's not wearing his gloves, and only one sleeve is rolled up. He's a mess. Am I really the drunk one?
"First swear you'll promise!" His nails dig into my skin.
"Ow, fine! I'll promise." He relaxes his grip a bit at my outburst, but doesn't let go.
This is ridiculous. Now I'm promising to promise before I can promise? I want to go to bed, and I still need to make sure Martina's alright. But Kadeeth always comes first. That's how I've lived until now, and I'm not about to change that.
"Swear to me on your Oath as a Knight, no, on our friendship, that if the Duchy ever falls, you'll leave." He finds my eyes again and pins them there.
What?
Did he just say something about the Duchy falling? Did the Duke tell him that, are they going bankrupt? And why would I leave? I'm meant to protect the Duchy at its weakest moments. I'm meant to protect him.
"What are you talking about? Is something happening with the Duke? What did he tell y-" He cut me off. Again.
"You said you'd promise." His voice is ominously calm now. How does he flip his mood on a dime like that?
"Yeah, but why would I need to leave? I don't understand?" I press.
"Just promise me, Ridge!" He practically growls. He's not angry anymore, he's irritated.
Good. I feel less guilty going against irritation.
"Answer ONE of my questions!" I push back.
"It's not the Duke. Now, promise." The calm seeps back into his voice, trying to lure me into the false pretense that he's actually explained anything, "You have to escape if anything happens. Don't worry about anything and leave, go to the eastern forest. Promise me."
"I, I promise?"
"Good. I have to go."
His hands release me and before I can register what just happened he's scooping Martina off the floor. He throws him over his shoulder like he's carrying a bag of apples, and not a grown man.
I feel lost. He starts heading for the door, but when his fingers reach the handle he pauses and looks at me again. I can't make out his expression from this distance.
"Don't bring anyone to your room next time. You can leave them with me if this happens again. They can't sleep here, there's no room." Then he's gone, and there's no grin this time.
I don't feel happy. I can't focus. My head's spinning, and my thoughts are running a mile a minute. I clench my hands into fists and bring one up to my mouth. I bite down hard on my fingers and choke down something akin to a sob, or maybe a scream.
I need to break something. I've definitely sobered up by now, but I want nothing more than to blackout. I wanted Kadeeth to show up so badly, this must be the universe reminding me that's wrong. That I need to keep my distance. I shouldn't get that close to someone, or he'll be taken away from me, just like my father.
I'd forgotten about this feeling. He died so long ago, and now it feels like I'm being torn apart again. I took the initiative to get closer to the one person who's always been there for me, and now something out there wants to take that away, again.
Well I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit back and watch it happen.