When I finally make it to the peak, I look back and let out a breath. I'm perched so high up that you can hardly make out the wire below.
"Doll," Rosemary's voice on the other end of the wire draws my attention to herself. She tells you, "Just focus on me, don't look down, don't look down, whatever you do, don't look down, keep your eyes focused on me," and you should listen to her advice.
I reach out and grab the pole, holding it in front of my body like this. I force a deep swallow and blink back tears of terror. I first take a few steps back before grabbing the pole. Rosemary is being very careful not to move because if she does, I will lose my concentration and could end up falling to my death.
I take a step onto the wire, and then I do something I've never done before: I walk on the wire at a glacial pace, despite the fact that I want to go very quickly. Rosemary is so knowledgeable that she takes things at her own pace.
As I draw nearer to her, I continue to keep my eyes on her while also keeping track of my own motions, and I notice that she is starting to smile as I approach closer to her. Every every move is a living hell. If doing so will ensure that I am obeying his directives, then I will put my safety at risk.
I can feel tears welling up in my eyes. I'm quaking in my boots. What if I trip and fall? If it happened, my life would be over. I'm trying to fight back the tears, and my legs are starting to shake somewhat. She encourages him by saying, "You are almost there, you are doing it."
I'm in such close proximity to her. My leg gives out on me when I'm only a foot away from her, and I come dangerously close to falling off the wire before Rosemary is able to catch me in time. As the lights go down to signal the conclusion of the performance, my emotions overwhelm me, and I find myself crying uncontrollably.
As I sob into her chest, she comforts me by patting the top of my head. She utters the following phrase: "I'm going to have a word with that jackass."
When we start to move apart from one another, we are taking the first step down the ladder. However, when we get to the end and Rosemary finally catches up with Claude, something unexpected takes place.
She gives him a slap that's right in the middle of his face. Hard.
She yells at me while dragging me backstage and says, "She could have died, you sadistic bastard!" While Rosemary fixes the smudges on my face, Claude introduces the next performer. In the meantime, I have Claude introduce the performer.
Gwen and William are the next performers, and they are risk takers in the world of stunt work. Such as the fact that they consume fire and engage in other bizarre behaviors.
When Claude is finished, he comes backstage to join Rosemary and me where we are standing. He says to Rosemary, "Rosemary, get to your tent right now," while appearing to be the devil.
"You had better start making her presentable; I'm shaking in my boots just thinking about giving that performance, and you are-" He struck her square in the face with the punch.
"You never talk to me like that, and you never make demands on me to do anything. I am in charge of things around here. "I knew she could do it, or else I wouldn't have told her to," he tells her as she fights back the tears. "She is alive. I knew she could do it."
She mumbles, "I'm sorry, sir," before turning and walking away.
He is looking at me, but I am avoiding his gaze by looking away from him. I gulp. I shouldn't say anything to him since I don't want to make him more upset than he already is.
The room is so quiet—almost too quiet—and I can feel his eyes scorching through me despite the fact that there is no sound. My face is grabbed by his hand, and I am forced to turn my head to look at him. He tells them, "You better be in my tent by the time this performance is over, or you won't get your reward." If they don't make it in time, they won't get their award.
The tents aren't like regular tents, and we tend to remain in the same locations for several months at a time. They are not like tents used for camping; rather, they are literal rooms complete with beds and other amenities.
"Will we get the reward sooner than expected?" I ask. "You did a stunt that even you thought you couldn't do, hurry up and go before I change my mind," he adds, turning his back on me and going back to where the others are. "You did a stunt that even you thought you couldn't do," I respond.
I get to my feet and make my way out of the backstage area and into the backstage area outside of the circus big top. As I approach the area where our tents are located behind it, I can hear Rosemary sobbing. "Rosemary," I answer, given that knocking is not something that can be done inside of a tent.
"Yeah?" I can hear her sneeze repeatedly. "May I come in?" I ask. "Can I come in?"
"Yeah," she says. I push the door open with my hand and step inside. "What on earth are you doing all the way back here? She warns that "the show isn't over" and that "he will hurt you."
"He told me to go to his tent for my reward," I add. "He told me to go to his tent." She tells you that "your reward will be his, not yours," but she means the opposite. But in order to avoid returning to life on the streets, we have no choice but to carry out his instructions. "Even though he's a jackass, at least we have a roof over our heads," she says.
"It is in your best interest to go, as you will be disciplined if you are not present in that location when he arrives there. We have a responsibility to pay attention to what he has to say since he is constantly trying to help us yet we pay him so little attention that it drives him crazy. Therefore, we ought to refrain from being materialistic and snobbish.
"What did he give you as a reward for all of your hard work last week?" I ask.
"He didn't do anything other than be kind to me and butter me up by telling me what I wanted to hear. This was the extent of his actions. After that, the following day, he returns to his usual self. It's almost as though the prize consists of him treating you as though you're more unique than the other people.
"Don't believe him if he tries to pull that 'you are special to me' shtick on you. The gist of all that happened was relayed to Anastasia by him. He is a prick who is manipulative and understands how to warm up a female when he has gone too far with his advances. That is most likely the reason why he is rewarding you so quickly.
"Did you engage in any sexual activity with him?" I inquire, feeling the pangs of envy hit me like a ton of bricks.
"Except for the sensation of his hands being on me, not really. Once he's finished with you, he'll push you out of the apartment and go back to his old ways like the prick that he is.
I nod. "Okay, I'll start moving now. I say to myself, "I don't want to get into any more trouble," and then I leave the room.
When I enter, I open the flap to his tent and then close it again. His tent is located at the furthest edge of the area where everyone else is camping. It has a good amount of space, and the bed is fairly spacious.
After having a quick look around, I make myself comfortable on his bed and wait for him to get home.