Shushin POV
I was deep asleep in my soul. The moment I opened my eyes, I suddenly found myself standing in front of a door. I looked around to find blood, and next to me, the spirit of Niaunyao sat on the ground in shock. I looked into her eyes, not knowing what she was looking at and found Rang. I looked at Rang's hand, full of blood. I looked at the source of the blood. Oh, oh, oh, it's Minghao, but I looked back at Rang, who got up and walked towards me.
Minghao screamed in pain from his deep wound that passed through his stomach and out of his back, screaming: Run!
But he does not know, at least I alone know now, that no matter what he does, he will not kill the woman he loves because he does not see that she is the one lying on the ground.
But Why is my heart torn? I've been through many things, but why now? Her soul is not in my body. Her soul left my body, so why do I feel like my heart was torn apart instead of hers? I look at her in pain and I don't know if this is my pain or her pain, her feelings or my feelings. Her soul stands beside me. I look at her and this Crazy man. I felt pain, no matter how much I lived, I would never feel anything like it again in my life. Every pain is different from the other in the end
He approached and said, "You are not her." Then he looked at the ground and his tears began to rush. He saw her HE SAW HER
Suddenly the place around us was filled with soldiers, directing their arrows at him
I said: It seems that she will never ask you, so I will ask, why did she die?
Then, finally, he threw himself on the ground, pretending to be a victim or actually a victim, but he was a victim of his inner demons, and a person as well who could not blame anyone but himself. Perhaps he was dying from pain now, but in my view his pain was trivial and superficial compared to her love and pain, and at that time I did not press him with the question. , why then? Because she died and even after her death she did not find salvation, even though she did not know the reason for her death, but it gave her a more painful reason. She said that everyone will know the meaning of love for themselves, and oh how I know now that love is like dice in a bet on life. The number may be 10 or 1, but the chance of getting 10 is one. And think for yourself, what is that one opportunity in life and how do we know when and where we will meet it
The next day, I placed the responsibility of Rang's arrest on Qianyu. Since this is his town, his palace, and his land, and I am just a passerby, Niaonyao's spirit is still here, but now it is not because of her love, but because of herself. We went to the City of Death, to go to her grave. As a last wish, after we reassured that Minghao had been successfully rescued and knew that he would be fine, I now believe that this snowy city will not have the same smell and atmosphere the next time I come there, because I will feel all those feelings again, and it will be as if I lived a whole life like this. Another person. I lived through pain and love and learned a lot. I feel that I have matured and do not regret my decision to give her my soul.
We stood in front of her grave. She said: I Will take my memories with me, I know they can hurt me
I really put this in my mind, took all I could take. In front of the grave I will put my blue flowers, hoping that I am reborn pure
I looked at her in pain for the situation she had found herself in. She thought that love had saved her, but it turned out that it had stolen her and destroyed her. She began to disappear, and when I tried to hold her, I could only hold her shadow that was lurking in her soul and began to fly with the wind. I felt sad, because I did not say what I wanted to say and did not I hear what she wanted to say, and I feel the sadness of the parting because she now seems to be a part of my soul, a part that was always here... and i swear i can hear her voice around me in the wind,
saying:
"I knew, i think i used to know
A way home that doesn't make me lonely
If I had only been stuck with myself and not loved, I would have walked forever thinking of myself
Isn't this better than living with the ghosts of memories ?
Because we were young, because we were lonely, because we did not love ourselves
This led us down this road, how I love now being alone
Wind is my name, now closer to myself
Now Go to the wide world, and welcome my new travels
I swear to love, to believe, and to hold on to hope."
...
Later, when I got to my room, the first thing I did was go to my writing desk. I sat on the floor, put my hair back, sat upright, took a pen and paper, and wrote:
"I don't believe in nice lady
even in the dark you'll see her smiling,
holding something I can't get
you will find her man with another, but she does not lose hope. Respect
she something I can't be
So, nice lady, where did you lose your dream?
To be so Sweet, to let go of the past and work hard for the present?
She is kind to others, walks gracefully and politely, her hair and body look like a piece of Poems
So dear lady, I will give you my heart if I die, I think you deserve happiness more than me
I used to think I was too much, but next to you I look so few, Like nothing. you say "I wish you happiness"
I wish you too, but I don't say it from my heart, because I wish no one happiness but myself
I'm selfish, broken, and I'm not ashamed
Can you give me your eye for a moment? I want to see the world from your view
Is it like milk and morning sparrows? Is it water or clouds? Are you a butterfly? So do you fly?
Then Can you give me your hand? I would like to fly. Next to you I feel like I want to die
Do you think you are an angel? You're just nice, better than me
I'm not jealous, but you die every time, and you keep saying, "Take care of yourself."
So who will take care of you? No matter what happens, you don't take revenge, oh my God, how much I want to hide
The world is scary, and you're making this worse. Go, don't look back, I'll be better. Nice lady..."
I sighed a long sigh after I finished. I took the paper and put it in a book. I grabbed the cover and wrote on it with my pen, "Shadows in my heart." Then I got up, opened the closet, and put my book in it.
I turned around to find Tian Yang standing with his shoulder on the wall next to the desk. I looked at him and said, "Why didn't your parents teach you to knock on doors? Especially women's doors?"
He laughed as he always did, as if he wanted to make me even more angry: "From the look in your eyes, it seems as if you wanted me to be stabbed instead of him, right?"
I put my hand over my mouth to pretend to be shocked: "Oh, how did you know? I tried not to act rude so as not to hurt your feelings."
He rolled his eyes and said, "What did you put in your closet?"
I smiled as I went to sit on my bed: Mm, message
He asked curiously: A message? I think letters were made to be sent, not to be kept
Indeed, but this is due to the sender's honesty, and I do not want to be honest with others, and there are many, many people to whom I cannot send my letters, so I write them myself, instead of writing them to them, I write them to myself, to console me and my soul. It's not something you can understand"
I said, ignoring his eyes on me, and put my head on the pillow, falling into a deep sleep