The French Formula
(Book 3 of the LSD series)
If you play with G.O.D., you'll always win.
By: Ronaldo Siète
"L'important dans la vie ce n'est point le triomphe, mais le combat, l'essentiel ce n'est pas d'avoir vaincu mais de s'être bien battu."
[The important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle, the essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.]
(Pierre Baron de Coubertin)
Polderdam, 3rd of January 2023
ISBN: 978-94-92389-27-5
Publisher: Editorial Perdido - at www.editorialperdido.eu
Author-right: @ 2022 by Ronaldo Siète - as @Ronaldo7Siete at wattpad.com
Author-right cover design @ 2022 by Katie Sharp - as @katieishere at wattpad.com
Thanks to John, Maureen, Jet and the Wattpad community.
Index
0. Title Page The French Formula
1. The Healer
2. One
3. Private Investigations
4. Pinball Wizard
5. Roll Over, Lay Down
6. Heroes
7. Whole Lotta Rosie
8. Still Got The Blues
9. Lady Marmalade
10. Beat It
11. Message In A Bottle
12. Under Pressure
13. Still Loving You
14. Everybody Needs Somebody
15. What I Like About You
16. Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)
17. Pride (In The Name Of Love)
18. I'm The Man
Extra: Get Up (I Feel Like Being A) Sex Machine
Cover text
Luxembourg wants to be Number One on the list of most influential countries. The war zone is Brest. The battlefield is the European Games. The LSD checks the rumours about a secret weapon, a new untraceable drug that turns losers into winners.
When Bugs, The Runner, saves the life of Doc, he gets an unexpected chance to enter the VIP-zone and look behind the cameras. But a spy-mission is not a game; it's serious business. Does winning The Great Game compensate for losing your life? What's the price of that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? And how can we play with G.O.D. and win?About the author
Ronaldo considers himself «the funniest writer in Dutch literary history». The rest of the country laughs about that, which automatically confirms the statement. After a long traumatic experience in his childhood (the six years of the 1st grade of primary school, when he had to learn the alphabet), he escaped reality and plunged into the world of fiction. He studied laughing stock in Orcsford (England), dark humour in the Black Forest (Germany) and dirty jokes at Club Oh, La, Lá (Place Picardillas 69, Paris, France). He graduated in Tonterías and won a licence in Cachondeo from the University of Málaga (Spain).
His novels and poems are full of his philosophy: smile every day, because no one gives literary prizes to writers who make their readers cry (otherwise he would have written this book on onion skins). He lives everywhere and doesn't work anywhere, because making up jokes while floating in the pool, with a drink in one hand and a snack in the other, "That ain't workin', that's the way you do it".
The LSD-series:
1. The Swiss Suitcase
2. The Polish Program
3. The French Formula
4. The Spanish Spotlight
5. The Austrian Aroma
6. The Maltese Manuscript
7. The Swedish Sex Bomb
8. (you'll have to read the others first)
9. (and we're not giving away this title either)
For more info, news and free downloads: www.editorialperdido.eu
Disclaimer
This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents and dialogues are drawn from the author's imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. At least, that's what my lawyer says, that I should tell you these lies so you don't believe all the other lies in the rest of this book. The truth is that the situations in this book, no matter how much you like them to be true, are fiction. The people in this story, no matter how likely you want them to exist, are fiction. Truth is stranger than fiction. That's why we write fiction: so you can learn to find a better truth.
The grammatical and spelling errors in this work are on purpose.
The first reason for this is commercial. Studies show that readers feel superior when they find errors in other people's writing. That's why we instructed our editor, Miss Take, to make sure our readers feel special when they enjoy our books. Only Editorial Perdido gives this glorious feeling of happiness to their clients.
The second reason is political. Every error is a protest against the Grammar Nazis, who complicated the language so the average educated person cannot put hor thoughts on paper without errors. Even the magic spell checker doesn't understand it anymore. Language is communication. It belongs to everyone, not only to the diehards who dedicated half their lives to studying it.