It's been a total of 10 days after rukhsati. Everything is going great and this is the reason i am worried, I am confused at his behaviour and more than that I am irritated because he is not giving me any justification for his past behaviour. He is behaving like nothing happened 5 years ago, nothing happened after his return to Pakistan.
I don't need his sorry over his behaviour, just a mere clarification is all i am asking for.
I really wanted to talk all this out, I want to talk with him but every time I decide to confront him I remembered all our previous talks which always end up being him hurting me with his words and me being with a broken heart. So, I am being quiet and oblivious to his behaviour.
I don't talk to him without needed and tries my best not to react to his romantic advances. He is trying to make me talk, he is trying to make me comfortable with him. I know he is trying very hard to pursue me but i am just fed up with everything. I don't want to see my heart break... again.
Every night I tries to sleep on sofa but every morning I wake up in his arms. He is being very clingy nowadays I tell you.
He goes to office for only 2 to 3 hours a day as the deal with London delegates is very important and all are working on it. I tried to also go to company but I was not allowed to step out of the Haveli for at least 10 days so today is my last day of holiday and from tomorrow I will be back to company. Baba Jani booked our tickets to the Turkey for our honeymoon but I rejected saying that the company is in the important phase, me and Zay needs to be here. So, they stopped saying it but I know this quietness is temporary.
As per Tayi Jaan's request today's dinner is on me. So, here I am in the kitchen making dinner. As per everyone's wish today I am trying Italian. I am making Spaghetti with meatballs, penne pasta, pepperoni pizza, chicken lasagna, macaroni and cheese, Caesar salad and lastly in dessert, Tiramisù and marron glacé.
As I was making my last dessert, he came in all his glory. From my peripheral vision I saw him gesturing Zubaida to get out of kitchen and the next second we both were alone in the kitchen. I sighed.
I pretended that I didn't realized he was in kitchen and was still engrossed in making the dessert.
That was until he wasn't behind me. And now my back was against his hardcore chest, his breath was fanning near my ear and his hand was slowly wrapping around my both hands sandwiching me between him and the shelf. Butterflies spread across my stomach at his mere touch.
Don't get weak Hayat! I took a deep breath trying my best to ignore his magical touch. He clearly knows his touch have a great effect on me.
"What do you want"? My voice was stern but mixture of irritation and anger.
"You don't know"? He asked innocently as we are playing dumb here. I feel like after rukhsati he has got his tongue back because he talks very much now like 5 years ago....my Zay was. But anyways I don't want to talk about it.
"Leave, I am working" I was pissed.
"And if I don't"? He again asked innocently. I couldn't see him but I was feeling his sly smile against my cheeks which were already scarlet red by now. As he is taller than me, he is not just standing behind me he is more like hovering over me.
"Now this is some beautiful sight to see" Saying this he kissed my earlobe sensually. As my hold on the utensils got loosened, his hold got tightened around my hands. He placed a kiss on my neck to slowly making his way, his lips to my collarbone. My eyes were closed due to the pleasure I was feeling.
How much I wanted to deny everything, I can't deny the love I have for him, I can't deny the pure touch of feelings he gives me. I can't deny the care in his eyes. I can't deny the fact I liked his touch, I like his eyes on me. But the question is why can't I?
He inhaled for few seconds and deeply sighed before uttering in his dark coated voice of desire "Damn it, you always makes me crazy for you with your fragrance"
Before i could say anything, he backed off. 'Ya Allah! Tera shukr'. But I instantly missed his warmth, It took some seconds for me to come back to my senses.
"Okay jokes apart you need any help Begum"? My heart skipped a beat at the word 'Begum'. Did he really called me that? I don't know why but I was feeling myself floating in the air. This word from his mouth for me....just feels amazing. I don't know how to explain in mere words. My anger from before flew in the thin air. Unknowingly my lips curled up in a bright smile. I turned to him.
He was frowning, his hands were in his hairs stroking them to the back but as soon as he saw my face a wide smile got spread across his face.
"Thank God! You smiled" Seconds later I understood his words and I realized I was smiling. Ugh! I wasn't supposed to smile at him not yet. At Least untill we clarify our each and every misunderstandings. With just that thought my smile vanished.
He sensed my change in mood and his smile also vanished. Now I was regretting because he rarely smiles and I don't remember when I last saw him smiling widely. I sighed and turned towards the dessert I was preparing.
Seconds later he cleared his throat and asked standing beside me "I was serious about the help. Do you need any"?
I didn't had the courage to look at him so still looking at the dough in my hands I asked "What kind of help can you offer"?
"You are making Marron glacé right? I can make it. You can go to our room and freshen up quickly" Surprise flashed across my face and I looked at him like he had grown two heads.
"Don't look at me like that Okay, I know how to make it, when I was in America, I tried to make each and every culture dishes and Marron glacé was the one also"
I nodded my head. That's something we have in common because when I was in Canada I also tried to make different cultures dishes.
He softly hold me from my shoulders and literally pushed me out of the kitchen.
"Go get ready Begum, you really stink" I instantly passed him a glare. Who was saying something about my fragrance minutes ago?
When he saw me glaring at him, he immediately said "I was joking, go get ready" Seeing his expression I really had the urge to smile. He looked cute.