Wlhy do I keep forgetting that Killian is the character that's set up to cut my neck. It's not enough to say "Yes, Yes" and feel down on my face every time I see him, but whenever I see Killian, I'm in a playful mood and have something to say back.
'Is this an influence from the original? Because the original Edith also always stirred Killian up too, of course, that's not the same as this.'
Even though I started a conversation, Killian just stared at me and said nothing. In the end, I gave up listening to his answer and just enjoyed my morning time as usual, drinking tea. The weather was nice today, too. As spring was ripening, a feast of green light was taking place everywhere. I got up from my seat and opened the window. The fresh spring-scented air slowly colored my room.
"The weather is nice..."
It was a little chilly in the morning, but even it was refreshing. as I tried to fix my shedding shawl, Killian came up behind me and spread his arms, trapping me between him and the window. I was so embarrassed by the unexpectedness of the situation that I stiffened.
"You seem to be helping my mother's work well."
"Yes? Oh, well, that's it, of course. . . . .It's work."
"I hear you're suspiciously good at it. . . . ."
Suddenly, I wondered what this meant. I think yesterday's work went into Killian's ears. . . . .
"It's better not to do anything crazy. what you see and hear in my mother's room, and forget it when the moment you leave that room."
"Don't worry. I'm not smart enough to remember all that."
"Well. Surprisingly, I don't think your head is very bad either."
What? Are you here to pick a fight? No, I think it's good, and I'd like you to tell me a little bit away because it looks like i'm about to spit my heart out of my mouth.
"Oh, and. . . . ."
"What else?"
"Was my mother favorite tailor so classy and elegant that wasn't enough to capture your taste?"
". . . . .yes?"
What is this again?
"If there is a place you want, please tell me separately. I'll call it for you."
"No, I mean. . . . ."
"For someone who's famous for never wearing the same dress twice, I thought it was quite the way to protest that you didn't have your new dress altered."
So now, even the fact that I didn't get my dress altered is a reason to hate me? i was just trying to get away from the extravagant image, but the end result is the same as the original!
'Is it unfair.'
Strangely, his misunderstanding and criticism were unbearable, even though i vowed not to go against Killian's temper.
"A way. . . . .to protest?"
Killian didn't answer.
"Killian, you really don't know anything about me."
"What do you mean i don't know?"
"If I didn't like the tailor, I'd call another tailor right then and there. Why would I let them fix my dress? did you think I was going to be judged for that?"
I straightened my shoulders and turned towards him. He flinched and stepped back slightly, as if he were going to rub his lower limbs.
"I didn't do anything wrong. You just hate me. Somehow, I'm going to put it together that the cause is me."
"That. . . . ."
"Sure, I can see why you'd want to blame me. that will put your mind at ease."
I was blabbering away, so I couldn't tell what my facial expressions were. Killian seems pretty surprised, but I have to say something.
"It's cowardly."
"What?"
"Your behavior of trying to strengthen your own happiness by using me as a scapegoat without sin, and the attitude of pretending to be a victim alone, is cowardly."
Killian's two eyes widened. But those eyes soon filled with anger.
"Is that. . . . .an appreciation of the position obtained by threatening our family?"
"Did I make that threat?"
"It's also the first time I've seen a child cut his father's tail."
"You don't know anything about me, Killian. Nothing."
"I know enough about the Riegelhoff family."
After all, to Killian, no, to everyone in the Ludwig family, I'm just a member of Riegelhoff. No matter what I do, no matter what I try. . . . .
"If you stay as behave as you are now, so that nothing unpleasant will happen. don't be suspicious. That's the best advice I can give you."
I was disappointed. You're gonna doubt me no matter what I do. . . . .
"That's very useful advice."
I turned away from him and answered. Even that beautiful flower, I didn't want to see it anymore. Killian stared at me and turned around, and went out. Thump, the sound of the closing door was like showing me his inner side, completely closing his heart. I was alone in a spacious and beautifully decorated room. The room, which had seemed to be filled with the energy of life until now, felt somewhat empty. Loneliness rose from the tip of my foot.
'What's wrong with you now? Was I originally alone?'
I felt like I was going to cry, so I quickly turned my body back toward the window. a few small birds were sitting on a branch in front of me and chirping. i envied the birds because they didn't seem to have any worries, just enjoying the glorious spring that was coming.
If possible, to stay as a ghost in this family's, i was going to suck the honey until death. . . . . If it doesn't work out, I'll run away at night.
I think it's the right time to think the next thing seriously about running away at night. Although it seemed to come so fast than I thought.
'Okay. starting tomorrow, let's focus more on
Saving money.'
I swallowed down my depression and called Anna. it wasn't a world where anyone would care if I was sad anyway. because it's always been that way.
***
After leaving Edith's room, Killian headed straight to the training ground. In the first place, I was just impulsively stopping by Edit's room while heading to the training ground.
'Damn. why did I do something to offend me?'
Maybe it's because of the story I heard from my mother and Lizzy yesterday.
~ "Edit is very clever. She even came up with a way to organize information by drawing a grid like this."
As if surprised, the Duchess showed Killian the table Edith had drawn. From his point of view, it was a very efficient method of organizing.
~ "I guess we can extract the information by compressing it like this."
"Killian. . . . .I think Edith is trying to get used to this house in her own way."
"She trying herself to buy your favor."
"It's the same with the child who got into the arranged marriage. and she was left alone in enemy territory. Can't you feel sorry for her a little bit?"
No matter how much Edith flirted in front of her, his mother felt sorry for Edith. but Killian couldn't let his guard down on edith. It was because Lizzy's view was a little different from the Duchess.
"My mother says she's good at helping out her work, what do you think, Lizzy?"
"Well. . . . .Edith seemed very smart."
The answer was nuanced. I think it's smart, but there's something nasty about it. . . . .
"Is there something on your mind?"
"Oh, no! unlike me, who didn't learn anything from Sinclair, she was a very fast learner. That kinda . . . . .i was envious."
"Lizzy. . . . ."
Killian smiled bittersweetly and put an arm around Lizzy's shoulders to comfort her, but he was sensitive to the point Lizzy had made. in fact, it took about four years of training to get Lizzy to where she is now, helping his mother with her work. and she picked it up very quickly for someone who hadn't learned anything at Sinclair, and it was no secret that she was smart.
'If Lizzy smart enough to be envied, that means she already trained in such a thing.'
Besides, the last time I saw her and talked to her at Sistine Hall, she didn't seem quite as dumb as she was rumored to be. She said she didn't know any artists, but judging from her appreciation of the paintings, she wasn't an idiot and had a high level of understanding. Of course , she made fun of me for that damn picture at the last minute, but..... so this morning, on my way to sword training, I suddenly had a thought to stop by Edith's room.
'I have to check her movement and warn her not to do anything stupid.'
Upon entering Edith's room with such a firm commitment, Killian felt a strange with the unfamiliar tension.
'The scent of rose. . . . ."
Unlike Lizzy's room, which has a subtle violet scent, Edith's room smelled of sensual rose scent. The moment he smelled the scent of roses and the scent of soft flesh, Killian forgot what he had come for.
"Uh? So early, what are you doing?"
Edith, who greeted him with a shake on her head, was even more puzzled.
'What's wrong with that nightgown!'
Her off-shoulder's skylight nightgown, which is barely hanging at the end of her shoulders, it's seemed that will fall down at any moment. Every time, the sunlight penetrated the shadows of her naked body exposed. Besides, the face that was not yet awake looked hazy, as if possessed by something, it stimulated a strange feeling. He looked around the room and tried to suppress the strange feeling. Fortunately, thanks to Edith's fight, He was able to regain his reason quickly. But the moment Edith, who was drinking tea without caring about him, went to the window and opened it. So that Edith's scent was blown away by the wind, and Killian unknowingly approached Edith and locked her in his arms.