"Wake up for me," a familiar voice said in her ear. "Please, Cristiana?"
A face formed in her mind. It too was familiar.
Dad? She thought.
It felt like days later when Cristiana finally woke up. Her bed had been comfortable, cozy even. She needed to enjoy it as much as possible before she would be lying on a rock-hard cot.
Cristiana also enjoyed the silence. It allowed her to hear her own thoughts, so much clearer than before.
Self-defense. Would the judge believe her?
There was a knock on the door, and she sat up.
"Who is it?" She called out.
The door creaked open, and a familiar face appeared.
"Milly? Cristiana asked, surprise in her voice. "What…what are you doing here?"
Her former assistant waitress stepped further into the room, setting down a plate with a cup of water. She picked up the other dishes and moved back to the door. "Sorry. I'm not permitted to speak with you."
"Milly. Please," Cristiana said, standing from the bed. "You have to help me. I need to get out here." The urgency was abrupt, but Cristiana was desperate.
"There's nothing I can do, Cris." Milly said shortly.
"What? Why'd you call me that?" Cristiana asked, confused. Only close friends and family called her that.
"That's what I've always called you. Ever since we were little. Cris. She doesn't even remember me." Tears began to form in her eyes.
"Huh?"
"I'm your friend, Cris. Your best friend. And you abandoned me. And now you choose to ignore me. Pretending like you don't know me, treating me as just a waitress. Now, when you are at your lowest, you remember me. So no, even if there was anything I could do, I won't help you."
Cristiana couldn't understand. Was this woman crazy? Or was her memory truly that bad? She stared at the woman, trying to recognize her.
Milly.
Milly.
Milly.
The image of a little girl popped up in her mind. Then the memories followed.
The two of them, playing together in a driveway.
The two of them, listening to music and dancing.
The two of them, sitting side by side in class, cracking jokes while their teacher lectured.
The two of them, fawning over the same boy everyday during lunch.
So they had always been together. Best friends. When had it all stopped?
Tears began to form in Cristiana's eyes. Ignoring the dishes in Milly's hand, she hugged her.
Milly felt tense at first, but she began to relax into the hug.
"I'm so sorry, Milly. I'm sorry I couldn't remember you. Please, something's wrong with my memory. I should've recognized you. I think they've drugged me or something. None of this feels real."
"That's your fault. You drank the drug yourself."
"What? In the daiquiri's…but even you served me those," Cristiana asked confused.
Milly pulled away. "I'm doing my job. I'm living my separate life. The fact that you couldn't control yourself isn't my fault. That's not my burden."
"You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. But none of this is truly my fault. Liam attacked me. It was self-defense!"
Milly smiled sadly. "Self-defense. Maybe he went a step too far…but so did you. You killed him, Cris. Self-defense or not, you're a murderer."
"I was already a murderer." She felt sad suddenly. "Heh. It's been that long hasn't it? My mother died when I was ten. Ever since, I haven't been the same. I started sneaking sips of my dad's drinks not long after. It helped me escape reality, even just for a little bit. But it's gone too far. I always take things too far."
It was all coming back to her now. She frowned, watching the memories play through her head. Why had she ever blocked them?
Her muscles began to feel tense, and her stomach turned over. "Him. Him…."
She could see him. That face.
*****
She was younger. Much younger.
Cristiana had just moved out of her father's house. College was easy, and she had made tons of friends. Though she hadn't met any guys yet.
She was lonely, truthfully. Her roommate had guys over all the time.
Cristiana was just bad at it. She was bad at getting people to like her.
"Come on, just for an hour? Maybe you'll finally meet someone!" Milly said, grabbing Cristiana's hands.
"Will there be drinks?"
Milly frowned. "Probably. Frats always have drinks, Cris."
She sighed. "Alright. I'll go!"
Milly let out a high-pitched squeak. "Let's pick you out an outfit, girl.
The next thing she knew, the two of them were crossing a lawn. In front of them was the frat house, where loud party music played over the loudness of thirty drunken teenagers.
They reached the front door, where a guy dressed in a blue suit sat behind a desk. A large paper banner was taped to the front:
Admission: $10
He looked at them with a smug expression, counting a stack of cash in his hand. Dropping his eyes down to the ground, he looked them over from top to bottom. "You two are good. Have fun."
Milly smiled and stepped inside. Cristiana felt disgusted. They were getting in for free?
The inside of the house was just as loud as she had expected, but nothing could've prepared her ears.
She glanced at Milly. "I'm gonna go get a drink."
Milly nodded. "Okay. I'm gonna go get me a man," she said, striding across the room to a guy standing by himself. They immediately struck up a conversation.
Cristiana rolled her eyes. It would never be that easy for her.
There was a makeshift bar in the kitchen, where another guy in a fancy suit was pouring drinks. She sat down, waiting for her turn.
"What's your name?" Someone asked.
She glanced over. "Me?"
The guy sitting next to her smiled, taking a sip from a beer. "Yeah, you."
"Um…I'm…Cristiana."
He sat back putting an arm around the back of her chair. "I'm Travis. Nice to meet you."