Queen Amira –
The pain I felt from Malcolm slashing my throat didn't hit me right away. The fall was more painful for me at first as my body had made a loud thud on the tiled floor in front of my throne. All these years, Malcolm partially starved me to try and break my spirit, causing my entire weakened body to tremble with pain.
My powers will never be surrendered to Malcolm; I will not be broken by his cruelty. In order to accomplish this, he would need to mate with me and mark me. The thought of him touching my body would make me want to die. Why Malcolm hasn't taken me forcibly is that I must consent with my whole heart and soul to give him my power. As far as I am concerned, Malcolm will never be the other half of my heart and soul.
There was a part of me that wanted to die, as then my powers would transfer to Ashina and her mate. The war could have been won so much more easily. Hopefully, the Goddess will take me, and I can give Ashina this gift, since I wasn't there to hold her, love her, or teach her how to be a queen. As a young mother, I was forced to abandon my baby, whom I dearly loved. It is impossible for me to imagine what her life must have been like. My hope is that it was full of fun and love. The greatest gift I could give my daughter would be to die.
After I had fallen into darkness, I thought I was on the verge of death, and perhaps I was. In the distance stood a tall Alpha with broad shoulders and eyes that bore into my soul. This was my mate, who looked the same as he had when we first met. It was so silly of him to trip right at my feet. He was such a Clutz. His silly antics brought a smile to my face, and I jumped into my mate's arms in response, wrapping my legs comfortably around his waist. Poor Guy looked relieved that I didn't reject him and our bond as mates.
The last time we saw each other was so long ago, even though I know this is part of a dream. He only informed me that my mate was alive in a sadistic manner, denying me the chance to see him. In any case, I would have known if he had died, since when a mate dies, the bond is broken, causing a great deal of pain. Often, I feel his pain and am crippled by it as a result of his beatings. A laugh breaks out when Malcolm sees me keeling over and retching on the floor in pain.
Amidst the darkness, my mate rushed to me and hugged me immediately. My cheeks are embraced in the palms of his hands, and my lips are caressed by the thumbs of his fingers. His eyes were fixed on my lips as he stared down at them. The fullness of his lips embraced mine, how I missed this so much after all these years apart. I felt the warmth encompass my heart.
I can barely hear him speaking and pleading with me to stay alive. The warmth of his arms surrounds my heart. As if you were engulfed in the warmth of a fireplace during the winter after a long, cold day. He is begging me to stay alive, my mate, my love. It's difficult to describe how conflicted I feel right now. It seemed like death would bring me peace, but then I would lose my mate and my daughter.
As soon as I walk into a field, I see my mate, my king, vanish from the darkness. The garden is full of lilies and several varieties of beautiful flowers. Although I do not know if I have died, I no longer feel pain. There are wolves everywhere in the forest, and the trees are so tall that one cannot see their tops. In spite of this, the sun still shines through the trees.
The wind sings in my ears as I sit on a log next to a lake that seems to sparkle with magic. As I pray to the moon goddess, I ask her if I have passed away. To my left, I heard the moon goddess sitting on a log with a soft melodic voice. My face must have looked shocked when she appeared suddenly and quietly, as she hadn't been there when I first sat down. Softly speaking, I could feel the all-encompassing love in her voice.
In her speech, she talked about God's care, love, and protection of her, Apollo, and others. Consequently, he had to sometimes give his children tough love so that they could grow and learn. As minor gods, it was our responsibility to teach and guide his children. Werewolf shifters were protected by the moon goddess herself. She has loved us since God let her create us.
There is always a choice between right and wrong, as explained by the moon goddess. Mate bonds don't take away our choice; they just guide us to the person who shares our soul from the moment we were created. Despite the moon goddess' gift to us, as her creation, her children, we still have the option of rejecting the mate bond. In spite of rejecting the mate bond she gave us, rejecting her gift still hurts.
I was shown a life review by the moon goddess and all the people I had touched with my kindness and suffering. During our conversation, she explained how my death would negatively affect my mate and Ashina, as well as how their pain would ripple throughout the kingdom. She showed me the strength that the magic I contained would indeed help end the war sooner. However, Ashina would hate that gift because she would rather have her parents by her side when the pups are born between her and her partner.
When the moon goddess looked at me, I knew she could feel my pain, fear, and heartache. What do you choose? She asks me. Her question was whether I should pass away in this lovely garden or remain in pain and still be happy.
When I replied to her, my heart had decided that...