I know that I will be celebrating my birthday in a few days, so perhaps that is why I am so emotional right now. It feels as if my body chemistry is about to change once I turn eighteen. Something seems to be changing within me. It's hard for me to put into words what I'm feeling. Because I don't understand it myself, I get upset easily. I have tantrums like a child. Which is not my personality at all.
The royal witch is preparing me for training, and I make sure to apologize to her. I learned she is not the witch of the Eastern Royal Kingdom; she is the ruler of all witches and warlocks worldwide. My mind is blown by the fact that she came specially to train me here.
Since I rescued those two male idiots earlier on in the day, I have yet to see either of them again, even though they both claim to be interested in me in a romantic sense. Honestly, I am glad they have made themselves invisible to me now, as it was becoming increasingly uncomfortable for me to see them. As crazy as the jealousy between these two men is, I am not a prize to be won, and I am not a prize to be contested. As far as romance is concerned, I am not interested in anything of that nature. As far as I am concerned, I have a war to win, and romance is only going to obstruct me from winning it.
It was Margaret who brought me out of my internal thoughts when she started giving me instructions. As a matter of fact, she was scolding me rather than lecturing me.
"You won't understand me until you pay attention! I am here to train you and I need your full attention in order to do that!" She spoke angrily in an attempt to bring me out of my trance.
After being startled, I responded from my daze, "I apologize, what would you like me to do for you?"
After watching Margaret throw one of her water bottles at an unsuspecting tree, the metal container busted in half due to the force of the throw, and not to mention that there was a dent in the tree as a result.
"Do I have your attention now Ashina?!!"
"Please don't take this as an insult, I am asking this in a sincere manner. Have you ever been a drill sergeant?"
Then, sighing, I add, "I promise that I will stay focused on what you are going to teach me. There is an army to lead, and I need to be as good as I can. In addition to this, I have nightmares about the children who are crying for their parents and families to be saved. My heart cries at the injustice that these children are facing as they shed their tears."
While sitting on the ground with my legs folded, I waited on Margaret to give me instructions on how I should conduct my training. Assuring that my full attention is focused on what she is saying at all times. It is a beautiful day outside and my hands are playing in the dirt unconsciously sifting through it like a miner might pan for gold.
Then Margaret starts to explain to me what she wants me to do, and why I am out on the edge of the training field, doing training exercises for her.
"The purpose of this lesson is to teach you how to find the center of your consciousness. As you have done before, I want you to close your eyes again like you did a few minutes ago and toss everything around you out of your mind. As in war, the noise would be unbelievably loud, so you must learn to tune out the noise and still find your center despite the noise."
As Margaret sits on the log calmly, observing me, she gives me instructions while she stares at me with her cool, cool eyes.
"Firstly, I know that you are able to control the earth, due to the fact that I heard from a few people that you created an earthquake-like phenomenon on the land. This is simply a practice session where we will do simple things. I would like you to move the dirt around you in order to create a trench that will be used for the moat."
Trying to find my center, I close my eyes and try to focus on my breathing. Nevertheless, I can hear laughter and cheers coming from the crowd. During the sparring, I can hear punches being delivered to the faces of both parties. There is no doubt in my mind that Margaret is able to see me struggle as I am sure my face is grimacing at the task, she has assigned me.
As long as I kept trying hard to ignore them, I wasn't going to give up on my fight. In my opinion, it is just so annoying that it is almost unbearable. It was a constant battle for me to keep telling myself, "I'm going to get over this.".
The laughing, the yelling, the arguments, the endless talk, the endless talk. My patience was wearing thin, and I turned around in my mind and yelled, "Zip it! " I smiled as I saw everyone's zippers locked on their mouths. I felt a sense of pride.
I turned back to look at a very angry Margaret. I shrugged my shoulders. "Sorry, I know I need to return it the way it was. What do I say? "Unzip it?"
As opposed to making me fix my mistake this time, she waved her hands and magically undid all of the things that I had messed up. Thereafter, she ordered everyone to make even more noise and to talk, fight, cheer and make even more noise than they were already doing. A smirk spread across her face as she looked at me.
"When you have found your center, come and find me when that is done." I watch her return as she leaves back towards the packhouse.
Turning my attention from the activities which were causing me irritation. My attention was once again drawn to trying to find my center of gravity.