Mia's POV
When was it? When did I start feeling this way? I can't say when exactly, I can't pin point the date or time but I just knew.
I knew that my heart races whenever I see my brother, Austin. I know it not right, it's abominable and that is the reason I kept it to myself.
I tried to stop myself from feeling this way but I couldn't help it. The way he talks, the way he laughs, everything that he does makes my heart race. Laying my eyes on him alone shoots millions of dopamine into my brain. My biggest secret is that I am in my love with my brother.
I mean, what is not to love? He is perfect in every sense. He is Smart, loving , kind , really good in school, the quarter back of the Stanford football team, he is handsome, sexy in every sense and he is rich. Ladies swoon over him but unlike Mike, Austin is a bigger player. I mean, I am not mad about it because it's nice to know that all the girls he's been with don't really mean anything to him. It comforts my aching heart. He loves football but not like Mike. Mike wants to make it into a career while he just does it because he is really good at it. Austin is more interested in the family business. He is in his Senior year and my Appa is preparing him as the next CEO. So tell me, isn't he the man of every girl's dreams?
The thing is, even if he wasn't all those things, I would love him regardless.
"I am home" Austin announced nonchalantly.
He was home and was still wearing what he wore yesterday when he quietly snuck out. He looks like he just crawled out of bed. I quickly walked towards him and held his hands
" Will you take me to school?" I begged with the cutest pout I could pull on my face and the room quieted down.
Everybody looked at him to see how he would reply.
"I am busy" He said indifferently and released his arm from my hand.
I stared at his back while he walked to wards the stairs. I was disappointed, once again. It's been three years but he still hates me.
"Not so fast Mister" My Mum stopped him.
"You didn't sleep home last night, where have you been?" She asked and Austin groaned
"Mum I am 21, I think I am allowed to not sleep home and not be questioned " He defended
"Oh I am sorry, I didn't realize that you are already an adult. Why don't you return everything your father and I are still paying for and you can show me how much of an adult you are" My mum threatened
"Fine" he surrendered
"I was at a girl's place" he said and I felt my heart twitch.
I am used to constantly hearing about Austin's sexual rendezvous but it hurts like a bitch…every time.
"Dude, the girl from last night? You hit that?" Jeremy asked and he smirked proudly
"Brooo" Jeremy shook his hands like he has done something so amazing.
What is wrong with boys? I want to punch Jeremy so bad for praising him. I want to punch the girl for being so cheap and I want to punch Austin for being so Irresistible.
Most of all, I want to punch myself for turning Austin into a cold hearted player.
FLASHBACK
Three years ago
"But you are grounded, Ariel can't stay sleep over" My fifteen years old self whined while my three brothers and Austin's girlfriend, Ariel were seated.
"Princess, Mum and Dad won't be back until 12 in the middle of the night. They won't even know she slept over. So can you keep it a secret? Please ? For your favorite brother?" Austin begged me.
He knows, he knows I do not like any of the girlfriends he has had but Ariel was different. I disliked her the most. Why? Because Austin fell in love with her. He treated her differently, loved her and cherished her.
I could not stand seeing them together.
"Fine" I surrendered and sat on an empty seat while feeling dejected.
He went back to sit with Ariel. Mike put on Netflix and we decided to watch a movie.
"Alexa, turn off the lights" Mike said and all the lights in the living room went off.
I was seated on an empty couch, Jeremy and Mike were sprawled on a larger couch and Austin and Ariel were snuggled up on a beam bag. Instead of watching the movie, my eyes were on them. I was angry at their relationship. He was our high school quarterback and she was the head cheerleader. They were both good at school and were the hottest boy and girl in high school. You would expect that someone with such amazing achievements will be a proud and rude person but Ariel was the nicest girl ever. Which made me dislike her more.
At first they were just cuddling but then they started kissing. My heart started racing with with pain and jealousy.
Austin is mine.
"I love you Princess" I heard him whisper to her and I lost it. That was something he says to only me. He called only me princess but now he is calling her that? He loves her? I lost all self control and immediately stood up and went upstairs.
I dialed my parents number and reported. I stayed in the room to calm down and went downstairs ten minutes later.
By the time I got downstairs, Ariel was about to leave.
I know that I should feel bad but I didn't. Instead, I was happy that she was finally leaving.
"I guess you are happy that she left." Austin said but he didn't sound angry.
That is one of the things I love about him, he never gets mad at me.
"Come Princess, let's talk" he said in a serious tone.
I staggered towards him with my head hung low.
"I understand that you are looking out for me in your own way but Ariel is not like the other girls I have dated… I love her Mia, I really do. I want you to love her too…please" he begged and my heart grew sour.
Doesn't he get it? I don't want him to love anyone except from me.
Only me.
My eyes glazed with tears.
"No!!!" I screamed at his face and ran up the stairs to my room.
I stayed in my room for about thirty minutes to calm my growing anger before heading downstairs. As soon as I got downstairs, all eyes were on me. Jeremy and Mike looked at me with sadness and disappointment while Austin looked at me with so much anger. He has never looked at me this way. His eyes were very red and he looked decanted. Fear engulfed me as I started to think of a million reasons he would be like this towards me.
"Are you happy now" He whispered with anger evident in his voice.
"Austin…." I walked towards him and he stepped back.
"Are you happy now that you almost killed her?!!!" He shouted in my face and my knees grew weak.
"Wha…what d..do you mean?" I asked him with a shaky voice.
"If only…if only you had kept your jealousy in check, Ariel won't be at the brink of death!!!" He shouted
"She left because you chased her away and she got into an accident. If anything happens to her, I won't forgive you" He said and walked towards the door.
"Austin!" Jeremy called after him but he didn't listen and just shut the door behind him.
Jeremy went after him.
I dropped on the floor after processing everything Austin said.
What did I do ?
"I …I didn't mean for her t…to g..get hurt" I wept as my voice shook.
Mike sat on the floor beside me and comforted me.
"It's not your fault Mia, it was an accident"
"No, it's my fault. If I didn't make her leave, she wouldn't have gotten into the accident"
FLASHBACK OVER
I blamed myself because I know that I was at fault. Throughout the time that Ariel was in Coma after the accident, Austin barely came home. I didn't see him for weeks and he didn't try to approach me.
I prayed and prayed that Ariel would get better but all to no avail. The day Ariel was announced dead, I was devastated.
I was filled with so much guilt that I felt trapped. I felt guilty for eating and drinking and even breathing when I was the reason Ariel will not be able to do those things again. I fell into depression and I basically stopped living. My Family did everything they could to help me and make me understand that it was not my fault but wasn't improving.
Yes my family, except Austin.
After his outburst that night of the accident, he became a cold wall to me. He stopped talking to me or interacting with me. Weeks after Ariel's death, Austin's best friend at that the time, Trent confessed that he and Ariel had a thing together and swore that it was a mistake.
That was the worst thing that could ever happen. Austin changed for good. He became a cold hearted player and talked to everyone but me. He only got with girls that looked like Ariel and dumps them the following week. It was like the only way he could hurt Ariel back . By hurting girls that looked like her. He hated me the most, I destroyed his chances of ever getting closure from the only girl he ever loved.
I was able to come out of my depressed state thanks to Ariel's parents and Baby Ariel. My Parents invited them over one day and they comforted me and told me that it was not my fault and that they are not angry with me. They also announced that they were going to have a baby girl and will name her Ariel. It was like Ariel came back . I was overjoyed and slowly recovered. My new goal was to try to be the best aunt to Ariel and try to make Austin forgive.
So far, only one goal has been achieved. I am Ariel's favorite aunt. As for Austin, no matter how hard I tried, he still hated my existence.
Now I can't control my anger anytime they openly talk about the girls he has been with.
I started shivering internally. My emotions are going haywire and I can feel a surge of anger build up inside of me . I pressed my fingers into my palms and immediately I felt a hand spread out my palms and wrapped it in theirs. It was Mike.
"You okay?" He asked and suddenly everyone's eyes went from my face to my hand that was wrapped in Mike's.
I tried to calm down but I can't control how fast my emotions go high.
"I'm fine, I will bike to school on my own. Please excuse me" i said with a sour face and turned around to leave
"Mia!!" My mum called after me but I didn't respond
"Call me when you get to school " I heard her shout before I shut the door behind me.