Chapter Five
While probably everyone is out there making new friends on the first day of college, I am here, on my couch, wrapped in a blank , munching on chips and chocolate ice cream whilst watching another heartbreaking Kdrama series. I don't want to complain too much because for someone with adhd(attention deficit hyperactivity disorder), this is me living my best life.
I watched how the male character stared in her eyes and I knew they were about to kiss. My heart tingled as he held her face. As they were about to connect their lips, my doorbell rang.
"Arrrghhh" I screamed and threw a pillow out of anger.
I quickly paused the series.
"Who is it?!!!" I screamed.
There is no way I am standing up from here. I don't think I can even get myself to stand up.
"Come in!!!" I screamed but I guess the person didn't hear because they kept ringing the door bell.
The person suddenly stopped and I heard the door open and close. I heard footsteps and in came Anaya into my living room.
I didn't realize how much I needed her until I saw her. Tears pulled in my eyes and she rushed to me and hugged me.
"No Mia , don't cry" she cooed and I shook my head while tears poured out of my eyes.
"I almost confessed my feelings to him today naya" I wept and she stared at me shocked
"You what?" She asked
"I know, I am a selfish bitch who almost ruined her own family. And you know the worst part of it, he didn't even flinch. He looked at me like I am a crazy person" I cried and she tried to wipe my tears with her palms but they kept pouring.
"I mean he laughs with everybody. You saw the way he laughed with Alexa. I mean, she does look like the carbon copy of Ariel who he usually bangs but what about Miley? She looks nothing like those girls. In fact she looks the exact opposite of those girls but you saw the way he looked at her. His eyes were warm, the were warm " I complained to her and she just tried to calm me down
"Calm down Mia, please" she begged but I was in no way done pouring my heart.
"No you don't understand Naya, I will do anything to get Austin to look at me like that. I could sell my heart if it will get him to notice me and laugh with me and….love me. Why doesn't he love me naya? Why can't I stop loving him? Why does my brother drive me crazy?" I cried and Anaya kept petting me until I could cry no more.
"You look a complete mess Mia" Anaya said and I smiled weakly
"You know what, we are going to glamour up and we are going to that party" Anaya encouraged
"No Anaya, I don't want to go " i whined "I don't think I can bear to see him"
"Mia he is your brother, you will still end up seeing him anyway. Do you really want to stay here sulking or do you want to go out there , party it up and forget your worries?" She asked encouragingly
"Fine Anaya, let's go party" I said
"Yessssss!!!!" She screamed excitedly and I laughed. This girl is crazy.
Two hours later, Anaya and I came downstairs with the sexiest, most revealing outfit I could find in my wardrobe. Anaya being a fashion designer styled me to the best of her abilities. She opted for a black dress with a very sexy slit on the side while I went for a latex red mini dress with a tiny slit by the side and with a bare back . It was tight on me like a second skin. Anaya insisted that it was too sexy but that is exactly what I was going for. I paired it with a matching latex boot that was high all the way to the knee, a cute Louis Vuitton bag that my Mom got me for my birthday last year and Anaya did my hair and make up. Nobody has to tell me, I know I look good.
"We still have an hour left to the party" Anaya informed me as I walked towards my large fridge.
My mum made sure she stocked it to the brim with food and all our beverages. Love you mum. I took out a bottle of Pepsi. I love Pepsi , why? Because of the caffeine in it. Adhd people loves caffeine because it kind of temporarily helps us to stay more present and focused. I took out a bottle of Chapman soda for Anaya and a bag of chips for us to munch on.
Suddenly Anaya got a text.
"It's Miley, she wanted me to pick a dress for her. And she asked if we are ready" Anaya said as she typed on her phone.
"Anaya, can we not…" I tried to say but she cut me off
"Don't worry Mia, I asked her not to come over and that we would meet at the party" Anaya said and I sighed in relief.
She gets me.
"But Mia, you know you can't continue doing this" She said
"Doing what?" I asked , trying to act oblivious while munching on the bag of Doritos
"You can't keep pushing Miley away. She is our friend Mia. We have a freaking group chat together. Remember you said that she is the nicest girl you have ever met. I mean I love you and will do anything for you but don't let us be mean girls Mia. " She said and I sighed heavily.
"I understand what you are saying but what if…"
"No what if's Mia. Literally everyone in the whole school knows that your brother has a specific type and he doesn't date. Miley looks nothing like his type. And even if worse comes to worst don't you think that this is like a blessing in disguise?" She said
"A blessing in disguise?" I asked puzzled
"Yes, maybe this might just be exactly what you need . If somehow Miley and Austin ever happens, it might be hard but this can help you move on" She explained but I wasn't sure.
The blessing doesn't really sound like a blessing. The thought of moving on from Austin hurts more than anything but she is right . I mean where did I even think this feelings of mine was going to get me. Austin will never see me that way, ever. Even if he wasn't my brother, he won't even give me a second glance. It's better I try to move on , even if it means my heart has to go through the most unimaginable pain ever.
It will be worth it, right?
"Fine Anaya, I will try but I can't promise you that I will act like I am not affected." I said
"Don't worry Mia, that is why you have me"
"Thanks bestie" I stated
"You are welcome bestie"
"Now let's go finish the remaining episode of the kdrama before the party" i said excitedly.
We suddenly heard the sound of the door and in came my brothers.
Jeremy whistled as he laid his eyes on us. Mike looked unpleased and Austin, he looked disgusted. Not that I am surprised.
"Are you guys going to the party?" I asked
"Mike and I are going , Austin is not" Jeremy said
"Mia, are you…" Mike was about to say something when Austin cut him off.
"What are you wearing?" He asked with a displeased look
"What do you mean?"
"Are you wearing that out?" He asked again
"Yes, I love my look" I replied.
Suddenly , he removed the hoodie he was wearing and stretched it took me.
"Put it on" he said
"What? No I am not" I replied
"You either put the hoodie on or go back upstairs because not on my watch will you go out dressed like that" He said angrily and tears pulled in my eyes.
This was not the reaction I expected.
"Mia, I think you should also wear the hoodie " Mike said reasonably
"I agree" Jeremy added but my eyes were on Austin.
"Why do you even care what I wear? It's not like you have ever cared about anything I did!!!!" I screamed at him
"Yeah Mia, you are right, I don't care. But who do you think mum and Dad are going to blame once they find out that you dressed like a hoe to some stupid party?!!! Me!!! I get blamed. So you better take the hoodie and wear it or you can sit your ass at home!!!" He screamed with so much anger and I gasped from how ruthless his words were.
I know the dress is too revealing but a part of me was hoping that after he sees me in this, he would find me a bit attractive but I was wrong. Instead he called me a hoe and now, I am crying because of him. Why does he have to always hurt my heart? Why?
"I hate you!!!" I shouted at him, snatched the hoodie from him and raced to my room with tears dripping from my eyes.