What the hell was Unique Skill? But I think I've got bigger problems than thinking about that right now, because as I was trying to keep my whole body in one piece, I just saw that I was passing through the clouds. I was falling down fast!
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*System Information*
The rebirth process was successful.
Earth, İnunodrei
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"System briefing, ma'am! As if we need to do something about the fact that I'm falling out of the sky right now!"
It wasn't working, the system information lady had gone silent and did nothing to save me from falling. At this rate I was going to stick to the floor like a sack of shit falling from the fourteenth floor, but I wasn't a sack of shit, I was just a shit!
When the shape of the earth appeared in front of me, I saw that it was green. There was yellow land in the south, white land in the north. Seas and rivers were everywhere. Maybe I could survive if I changed my direction in the air and fell into the sea, but when I thought of the concrete effect of the water I had seen in a video about what to do to survive a fall without a parachute, I started looking for a tree to fall into.
There were indeed trees where I fell. I had to use their branches to slow my fall and avoid dying by breaking my shitty body into a million pieces. To this end, I tried to change my direction by trying to turn in the air, and when I realized that I had some success, I turned faster.
As I got closer I started to see other things and the first thing that caught my eye was a man, he looked like a big guy. Needless to say, he could have crushed me under his feet. And in front of him were two beautiful girls and my god! Their breasts are hugeee!
"That's it! If I fall between the breasts of one of them, it will be a wonderfully soft fall and I won't die!"
So I changed my direction and aimed directly between the blonde elf girl's breasts. For the first time in my life I was happy to fall thousands of feet.
"Oh, no! Leave us alone, you villain!"
"Yeah! We're not one of your dirty girls!"
"Hehehe! Now I'll see what kind of girls you are!"
I think they're about to be attacked by a bad man in this forest. I wonder if there's anything I can do to save them? If I fall on his head, maybe I can shock him, but that would mean the end of my parallel world adventure... Oh God! System briefing big sister! Where are you!
*GAAAK (eagle call)!*
Wait a minute! Where did that sound come from! OH! NO!
GAAAAAAAK!
"How the hell you found me to hit in that damn huge sky, you damned little tramp!"
As the eagle flapped its wing, it hit me and changed the direction of my fall drastically. I was no longer falling between the elf girl's tits, instead I was heading towards a rock at the highest, highest speed I had ever reached! I was about to crash! Oh, damn it! This is the worst isekai adventure ever!
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*System Information*
*TALENT TREE*
Physical Strength (0)
Resilience (0)
Agility (0)
Flexibility (0)
Magic Power (0)
Charisma (0)
Intelligence (-10)
Chance (No Chance Determined)
*SKILL POINTS – 10*
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"System briefing, ma'am! Do you think now is the time for the talent tree! Ah! Damn it! I'm giving all points to flexibility!"
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*System Information*
Flexibility updated.
New flexibility status: Flexible
Flexibility 10
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And then came my inevitable collision with the rock. I had expected to find myself on soft boobies but ended up on a hard and ugly object, but thanks to the system briefing lady, I managed to survive by gaining the ability to flex.
On top of that, when I hit the rock, I flexed and flexed! Thanks to the angle at which I hit the rock, I aimed exactly where I wanted to be and the energy accumulated in my body threw me towards that position!
"What the hell!"
"Gross!"
"HEY! WHERE ARE YOU- EW!"
"YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR MESSING WITH THOSE TWO BEAUTIFUL GIRLS!"
I was tall and thick, and my newfound flexibility allowed me to execute a perfect launch.
As I went right into the mouth of the man who had messed with those two girls, some of my pieces went into his windpipe and out of his nose. I felt a great relief as I filled the man's mouth to overflowing! Oh! I guess even though I'm a piece of shit, all I can do is not only come out of people's ass!
"What the fuck!" said the human girl. She had blonde hair and blue eyes, she was very cute and her tits were much bigger than the head of my human body I once had.
"Wait... is that shit?" the elf girl was surprised. She too was blonde and blue-eyed and her breasts were as big as the human's.
I crawled out of the fainting man's mouth and nose and regained my body integrity. I felt a little wet and snotty, but I was still happy to have saved those girls.
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System Information
Physical Strength (1)
Resilience (3)
Agility (1)
Flexibility (11)
Magic Power (-1)
Charisma (-9)
Intelligence (4)
Chance (No Chance Determined)
New Title Achieved: Hero for Young Girls
Skill Points gained: 3
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Let's forget all that, system briefing, ma'am! I want to see if there's anything wrong with the girls! Oh, girls are so cute! I love girls so much that sometimes I want to be a girl myself! Look at their booboobies and their sweet cheeks, system information lady!
But even though I thought such nice things about them, in the end I was nothing more than a piece of shit, so...
"Ew! This thing has eyes!" screamed the elf.
"What the-what the hell is that! Holy Shit! Its mouth is opening!"
My mouth is opening! Wait a minute! What! Didn't I ever have a mouth? How was I talking to the system information lady!
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*System Information*
Communication Capability Acquired
New Talent: Communication
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"H-hello there..."
I was the hero who saved them, but I wasn't going to be treated like a hero. The girls screamed and one of them stepped on me with her foot.
Okay, I liked being stepped on by a girl's foot because I have a shitty character, but she wasn't doing it for my enjoyment.
"Gross! Why did you step on him!" said the human girl.
"I don't know!" shouted the elf girl. "Ow! This thing is disgusting! It stained my feet!"
I may be shit, but I have my pride!
"Hey! You're breaking my heart!" I shouted. "Even though I saved you! Can't you be a little nicer to me? Who would have beaten this guy here if it wasn't me!"
The girls backed off and I put my body back together. I wonder if I can give my body a little mini-figure shape, but for now it would be better not to put on any more shows in front of these girls. I've already scared them enough.
"You're a piece of shit, how can you talk?" the elf girl asked.
"Actually the longest and thickest piece of shit I've ever seen," said the human girl. "I've never seen a longer one."
"Hehehe... You flatter me, but I don't really know what's going on either. I remember I was a human, but I suddenly found myself like this. I'm sorry if I scared you."
As I looked at the girls with my shitty eyes, they started to think. Even if I was a piece of shit, they could show some gratitude towards me for saving them. And I didn't ask to be a piece of shit! I am completely and one hundred percent victimized here! Who wishes to be a piece of shit! What a shitty parallel world adventure!
"There's nothing to do," said the human girl. "This little shit saved us, we should show him some gratitude."
"Yes, I would shame my elf ancestors if I turned my back on someone who helped me, even if he was a turd."
And so the two beautiful girls put me in a bag they had taken from the man I had knocked down.
Maybe this parallel world adventure won't go as badly as I thought.
It won't, will it?