RING!
RING!
RING!
RIN-
Yaku slams the alarm clock and groans annoyed by it's loud sound.
He is on his bed, laying on his stomach with a pillow under him. His drool was over his chin as he was rubbing it away. His eyes were yet closed because of the rays of light directly hitting him in eyes from the space between curtain.
He again groans and rolls over his left side to get away from the ray of light. Still with no intention of getting up, he curls up like an armadillo and utters
"Let me die already. I don't want to live through this miserable time called life anymore.."
He sighs.
"Well, I'll just live this day as I always do."
He pulls himself up out of his bed and gets on his feet.
"If I tear off my legs, I can die through a blood lose. Or maybe I could die from the pain if I break them."
He stands shirtless. Yaku has a slim but tough and good-looking body ;the result of his past trainings and interest in sports.
His legs are also slim but stiff. He was in a soccer team in middle school, so he ran a lot.
His body is pale and face totally dead. His arms filled with scars and so is his belly. His face doesn't has any scar but the stress lines are huge.
He didn't fight nor did he got in any accident. It was all his doing. He tried suicide more than anyone. He despises life more than anyone.
After rubbing his eyes, he looks around his room. His room isn't that stuffed. It has a bed, a sofa both covered with blue sheets. A huge window which gives no good view because of a wall right after it. And there's a table which has his laptop and accessories like chargers, keyboard and others. It's a mess. The theme of his room his completely blue, blue enough to drown.
He looks at his bed and thinks
"I could drop it on my ribs. It will be a quick death."
He looks at his sofa and thinks
"I can use it to crush my skull. Hurtful but will work."
He looks at the window and thinks
"A fall from 10 meters, perhaps it's enough."
That's all his mind is filled with, ways to die. Everything he sees, he thinks of how to use it to kill himself.
KNOCK!
KNOCK!
A knocking sound comes from his door.
"You're up right!? Hurry up and get ready or you'll be late. I am not coming again to remind you!"
It was his mom waking him up. After all, Yuka was starting highschool starting today. Something he sure didn't enjoy. He just wants peace. Eternal peace which doesn't exist in this world.
He glares at the door with annoyance in his eyes.
"Yeah, I almost forgot. As long as I'm alive, I have to deal with this world's hell. What choice so I even have anymore."
He walks to his washroom and washes his face, brushes his teeth and does his hair like usual. A top knot.
He has quite long hair. He keeps them long to avoid any sign of easy to talk bullshit and keep his attention to himself. May look emo but as long as it keeps away attention, he did not care.
He puts on his school uniform which was just a casual japanese uniform. White shirt and gray type pants and picks his bag.
He walks downstairs for his breakfast and once again the thought of tripping from the stairs crosses his mind.
"It won't even look like suicide if I just trip. Funny how a simple normalized thing changes the whole intention. Such a wrecked world this is."
He looks at the dining table just to see his wrapped breakfast just like every other day. He would barely ever eat with his family, because they would always go away before he could even get down. They were more busy with work than their only child.
He looks at the table with disgust.
"Time and love. They really are never conditional" he mumbles.
He picks up the kitchen knife and points it on his neck.
"No one will even blame me if I end everything right now. All I need is just a bit more motivation. After all, a human's mind isn't capable of faithfully hurting itself."
He puts the knife down and walks out of house without eating the breakfast.
He walked his way to school looking down. He had no self respect or dignity of his own. He looks at himself as the most down to earth person ever. His deadeyes shouted "Don't be near me."
People would stare at him because he looks like a perfect ideal guy but the air around him was just as he wanted it to be. It was dense. Too dense for someone to approach.
HONK!
A car coming from behind honked at Yaku.
He looked behind but stayed where he was.
"An opportunity.."
The car was coming in a fast speed but Yaku didn't move. I'm just 3 seconds, it passed by where Yaku was standing. But unfortunate for him, he moved by his own.
He kept on walking like nothing happened.
"Tsk, I am starting to hate my instincts too."
His next stop ended up being by the traffic light.
"Is today an official sign of suicide for me by God? Did he finally accepted my wish?" he mumbled.
The light was red but he proceeded to walk anyway. People didn't pay much attention to it. That sickness made him smirk.
"This is why I hate this world." he says to himself.
With closed eyes, he walks on the road and hears a truck coming to his way.
"Now, come and free me from this merciless life. It is undoubtedly my chance."
He was completely confident that this is how it would end but fate was playing games once again.
Instead of the rock hard truck, a soft small hand reached him first which pulled him back.
He turned around to see the face of the person who took away his chances. Surprised but disappointingly, it was a girl, wearing the same uniform of his school.
Moreover, she was in tears.
In a low voice, Yuka asked
"Why'd you pull me back?"
The girl looked at him with anger.
Yuka had never seen something like this before. Those eyes were filled with pure light. They were as pure as someone could be. In contrast to those, Yuka had the darkest and most blind eyes.
A new light of hope? But Yuka forced himself to not believe it.
She suddenly grabs Yuka by his collar and shouted
"Life has more value, you idiot! Don't do dumb stuff like this, this will never make things better!"
Those words, they were new to Yuka but also what he always wanted to hear. But still, it was too soon to trust someone so he pushed her away and continued
his walk to the school.
"I'm sorry but, life has no value of me." is what he whispered while pushing her away.