"Ugh, the sun is so bright today," I say while watching cherry blossom petals dance in the wind. I hold the hem of my skirt to keep the wind from blowing it up as well. I'm still not used to wearing this.
Hello, I was formerly known as Yuki Matsuri. I used to be a 17-year-old boy, but after what happened a month ago, I became Yuri Matsuri, a 16-year-old girl. Am I upset that I transformed into a female? Not exactly, because...
1 Month Ago
I am currently in my room, looking at a drawing of the ideal person who I wished I could be. In the drawing, the person has long silver hair that matches my sisters' and mother's hair color, blue eyes like my father's, and a shorter and petite frame with a moderate hip and bust, a cute facial structure, and long eyelashes to match. Yes, my ideal person, who I wished I could be, is a female. Ever since I can remember, I loved things that were considered girly. I loved to dress up, go shopping, and eat sweets with my female friends. I absolutely loved cooking for others. For that, I got made fun of quite harshly by the other boys in my classes. The silver lining was that my family supported me and helped me through times I was depressed. Ah, a falling star...
"I wish I could become my ideal person," I said out loud before dozing off to sleep.
The next morning, the sound of my alarm wakes me up.
"Ring! Ring! Ring!"
"Yes, yes, I'm getting up already." Huh? Why does my voice sound so soft and harmonious? As I rise from the bed, the covers I was using feel heavier than they did last night. As I reach out to turn off my alarm on my phone, I notice that my hand and arms are much smaller and more petite than before. When I slowly come to a certain realization, I notice that my hair that used to be black and medium in length is now long and silver much like my little sister's and mother's. When I look down, I notice where my chest used to be flat, I have to medium "hills". After I got up, I walked in front of my mirror, I noticed a very cute face with blue eyes, and long eyelashes. I had plump lips that seemed soft to the touch. What I saw in the mirror was my ideal version of myself.
"Did my wish come true?" I asked myself, before running out of my room and downstairs to where my family were preparing breakfast.
"Mama! Look!" I yell out to my mother when I reach the kitchen.
"Don't scream so loud, Yuki, or should I say Yuri. It seems your transformation is complete." My mother said to me with a happy expression on her face.
As her words sank in, conflicting emotions swirled within me like a tempestuous storm. Joy, fear, confusion, and curiosity battled for dominance, their clamor echoing in the depths of my soul. This was more than just a physical change; it was a profound shift in my sense of self. What did this transformation mean for my identity, for my relationships, and for the world around me?
I turned to my mother, my eyes pleading for answers that I wasn't even sure I could put into words. "Mama, I... I don't know what to feel. It's overwhelming, yet exciting. I wanted this change, but now that it's happened, I'm filled with so many doubts."
My mother's gaze softened, and she reached out to hold my trembling hands. "Yuri, my dear, transformation is never easy. It's natural to feel a whirlwind of emotions right now. Take a moment to breathe, to process everything. Remember that your journey is unique, and it's okay to question and explore your feelings."
Her words offered me a glimmer of reassurance, but the weight of uncertainty still pressed upon me. I couldn't help but wonder how this transformation would impact the relationships I held dear. Would my friends accept me? Would they see me as the same person, or would their perception of me change? And what about my family? Though my mother's initial reaction had been accepting, what about the others? What about my sister, my father?
Deep down, I knew that their love for me was unconditional, but the fear of disappointment gnawed at my heart. I took a shaky breath, my voice quivering as I voiced my concerns to my mother. "What if... what if they can't accept me for who I am? What if they don't understand or reject me? I don't want to lose the people I care about and bullied again."
My mother's eyes filled with empathy, and she drew me into a comforting embrace. "Yuri, my love, it's true that not everyone will understand or accept your transformation immediately. But remember, true acceptance takes time. It's a journey that both you and those around you need to embark on. Give them the opportunity to know the real you, and trust that those who truly love you will embrace you with open arms."
Her words struck a chord within me, stirring a newfound determination. I realized that my transformation wasn't just about me—it was about authenticity and living my truth, even in the face of uncertainty. It was about forging a path that would lead me to genuine connections and a sense of belonging.
Gathering my courage, I looked into my mother's eyes, gratitude swelling in my heart. "Thank you, Mama. I don't know what lies ahead, but I'm ready to face it. I want to be true to myself, even if it means facing challenges along the way."
A tender smile played on my mother's lips as she caressed my cheek. "You are strong, Yuri, and I believe in you. Remember that you are not alone. Your family will be here to support you every step of the way, no matter what."