Judd jerked awake and immediately sat up on the bed. He was sweating and trembling, his throat was dry, and a chill sensation loomed his body. He gasped, trying to make air get to his lungs. He clenched his still trembling hands until he calmed down several minutes later.
The clock on his night table marked 5:39am. He let out a shaky breath and laid on the bed again even when he knew that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. His dream was just too real, too vivid, that it was scary.
He forced himself out of the bed to take a long and warm shower. Even though the chilling sensation didn't leave his body, he somewhat forgot about his dream when he met his friends in the cafeteria to eat lunch.
The group had silently dropped the topic of investigating about Rei Lee since all their efforts always ended up in dead ends. They still would sometimes find themselves talking about her, or just thinking about her.
"So, what are you going to do about next the assignment?" Andrea asked Judd. "If you don't find a partner soon, that will affect your global score. Are you sure of not presenting anything?"
"The assignment is ok and all, but I don't see why they had to make it some sort of festival. Really, as if embarrassing ourselves in front of our classmates is not enough, now we have to do it in front of the whole campus." Mitchell whined, trying to smash his already smashed potatoes.
"Not counting the outside people that might come, as it was also made open to the public." Jaden pointed up.
"My parents said they will come. You know how desperate I am for them to cancel it at the last minute?" Wetzel dropped his head defeated, remembering the enthusiastic tone of his mother over the phone announcing that they would attend the festival. "What about yours Judd? I bet they are dying to see you play."
"Eh? No, they-they don't know about it. And even if I told them, they wouldn't come. Besides, they also would be mad if I tell them I might not even play." An awkward silence fell after his words.
It was highly likely Judd would not to be able to play due to him having no partner. Their teacher tried to persuade him to play something, anything; however, Judd claimd not to be in his right mind to present something that would defend his title as the genius of the Music Department. So they didn't say anything further.
The whole Rei Lee matter had him completely absorbed and confused. Him missing an assignment was not good for his career. That's what they thought.
Judd, for his part, had actually composed a piece. When he composed it, he hoped for Rei to, one day, appear so he could beg her to be his partner and play together. He even thought of doing whatever she wanted just for the sake of playing once with her.
To the date, she was nowhere to be seen, or heard. And, without her, he was willing to lose an evaluation.
Though, the matter of not seeing her weighed more on him.
The following days, the whole Music Department prepared for the festival. Even when they were going to be evaluated, they were thrilled of the fact that many people would see them. Many wanted directors to notice them, giving them the chance to be employed as musicians or composers in an orchestra.
Maybe that was the reason why the evaluation was made into a festival.
Furthermore, it wasn't the first time they had to compose and play, but it was the first time that they had to do it with someone else. There were even groups of 5 playing like a mini orchestra, so yeah, everybody was looking forward this evaluation for what it represented.
A chance to be renown, recognized, noticed.
Meanwhile, Judd hung out alone in the practice room he unofficially claimed for himself, totally unconcerned of the evaluation or of whoever approached him for it. Even two days before the event, there were still people asking him to join their group, but kindly rejected them all, saying he already had a partner.
A lie, of course. Everybody knew that.
It was no secret that he had stopped playing duets, and that he was no longer as amenable as he used to be. So, rumors began to spread.
Some said he had become an elitist snob because of his title of 'genius'. Others said that it was because his parents had forbidden him to play with others. Some even claimed he could no longer make music, that's why he stopped playing with a partner: so no word would spread about his missing talent.
There were those that truly believed he already had a partner, but he was hiding them. He couldn't care less about what others said. He'd learned he could not make everybody happy, so he just focused on his opus, which was similar to the one from his dream. But, for some reason, it was not the same.
It didn't matter how many times he played it, it didn't sound the same. He was called a 'genius' because even without a companion, he could always bring up the beauty of a melody. Solely with the piano.
He didn't want to accept that the wrongness of the opus was because of the lack of the cello; though, deep inside he recognized it was because of that.
He played his opus for the hundredth time that afternoon with his eyes closed. After his fingers pressed the last key, he sighed.
Hours and hours of playing the same and it still didn't sound how he wanted it to sound. Perhaps his talent really was gone. Gone like Rei Lee. He shook his head when the memory of her bloodied figure appeared in his mind. It was not the time to think about dreams.
In the end, he decided he was not going to play at the evaluation. Not with that half-assed melody.
The day of the festival was cloudy, but it was not cold. Instead, signs of spring were all over the place and the building of the Music Department was more cheerful than ever. The main hall of the building was really crowded, not with just students but with invited people, relatives, friends and even strangers, too.
It was a fortune that the hall could accommodate all the throng of people without being uncomfortable
"Are you sure you're not going to play?" In the backstage, the group of friends were gathered, waiting for their time to perform.
"Yeah, I'm sure." Judd said, looking at Wetzel who had an unreadable expression on his face, or at least Judd didn't try to guess.
"You already told Mrs. Price? I think you are included in the whole event. You better tell her beforehand." Mitchell's voice hinted that he felt sympathetic towards his friend, but tried to hide it.
"I've been looking for her, but she kind of evades me. As if she doesn't want me to tell her I'm not playing." He shrugged. The five just smiled because it did seem the case. Whenever he found her, she would immediately turn and walk away from him, pretending to be busy with something.
"She loves you, man. I think she wouldn't mind you playing alone. Maybe she's still pondering, you know, for the sake of fairness. People complain." And after saying that, Andrea looked around to the ones that were eavesdropping on their conversation between, quickly looking away after being discovered.
"Well, if she's avoiding me, then tell her I'm not playing. At least, like that, she'll know." The others nodded. "Well, good luck. I'll be in the public cheering on you." The five laughed, and then Judd left the room.
The ones that knew him were surprised to see him sitting in the public. Of course, most attended just to hear him play. His presence there, on the seats, greatly disappointed them. It wasn't that they were undervaluing the others. However, you don't get to hear a genius musician so often and without having to pay.
Soon, the evaluation began.
The only time Judd actually paid attention to the people on the stage was when his friends performed. Who said three violins and a bass wouldn't sound refreshing? Because that was what they managed. A vibrant melody that could make you bounce your head and paint a silly smile on your face.
It was the sound of youth screaming their power, and announcing to all and sunder they had all the right to be heard over all things. Judd wasn't the only one who appreciated the display as the claps at the end of their performance lasted for some good seconds.
When his 'turn' almost came up, he suddenly got nervous. He hoped his friends had told their teacher he wasn't performing at all. It wasn't a matter of not having a partner. It was a matter of his melody being empty even when his friends said it was the best they had listened to. They felt the opposite to what he felt throughout the whole piece.
Wrong. All wrong.
"I bet you were all waiting for this special performance. It was hard for me to make an exception with him, but I think it would be a waste not to hear what he has prepared for us because I'm sure he did prepare something." Mrs. Price's eager and expectant voice was contagious, and soon the whole Hall was murmuring excited. Some eyed the person she was referring to. Said person wanted to run away from the place. "So, I will not keep you waiting more. Ladies and gentlemen, Judd Faez."
The claps and cheers made him highly consider in running away, but Mrs. Price's gestures to go up to the stage prevented him from doing so. He could only disappoint everybody by saying he wouldn't be performing.
He stood and walked to the stage. Before he could talk to his teacher, she fled from where she was standing and left him alone. He couldn't believe it. He turned around to see his public and their shiny eyes just hurt. He couldn't run away. He made the mistake of not rejecting his teacher from the very beginning.
He sighed defeated and walked towards the piano. He pressed some keys to make sure it was tuned. It unfortunately was. He took a deep breath and then he closed his eyes. His whole body had already memorized the piece, his eyes weren't needed. He let the melody in his mind wash him, and he naturally began to play.
He frowned, immediately feeling the wrongness. Again, it was not the same. The melody his fingers were playing wasn't in the least similar to the one in his mind. As the melody continued, his eyebrows creased more and more until he stopped completely.