"Ah! Take this, you stupid Mimic!" As she was tossed around the room like if she was the ring in a carnival game, Min found the chance to grab a rolling pin. She hit the tentacles with it, but they didn't even flinch. "Ack!"
The mimic coiled his tentacles around Min's wrists and her thighs. "No, no! Bad mimic!" The monster lifted her and smacked her against the window.
Min's body got squished, her face smoothed, and her breasts flattened against the cold crystal. Some townspeople gathered to try and determine why exactly half their street had turned into hot coals. They gasped when they saw the naked woman smash against the glass.
Not that she was the picture of heroism and decency before, but seeing the crowd gasp at her sorry display of martial skills made Min's heart flutter like a butterfly.
Her legs were sparkling with sugar. She had splashes of marmalade around her tummy and even patches of squished dough near her crotch. She looked more lie a perverted dessert than a seasoned adventurer.
Why was she getting her ass kicked so hard?! Wasn't she supposed to have OP skills or magical abilities? Why weren't they activating? If there ever was a time, this was it!
The mimic didn't seem to be in a hurry to move her along, seemingly relishing watching her squirm against the window. It was a cruel monster, but at least it wasn't the other kind of mimic. Min had seen enough Hentai to know this encounter could go even more horribly wrong.
On the other hand, weren't mimics supposed to drag their victims inside and eat them? Why was this one so keen on just playing with her? Maybe it was on purpose. The alchemist couldn't bring herself to murder any potential robbers. She wasn't that evil.
Not that this made Min feel better about her current predicament. She promised Celeria that she could handle the mimic so she better think of a way to do so. For her remaining pride as a (still green) adventurer, if nothing else.
Min writhed and squirmed to try and get free, her feet kicking and almost pushing some condiments out of the shelf below. It could have been her imagination, but the tentacles trembled as the shakers shook in place.
Wait, that shaker contained pepper. Celeria said something to Peonie about grabbing pepper, and the mimic was just below the window… it was worth a shot.
Moving her feet backward once more, Min kicked the little shaker back with her shin, and a vial full of pepper fell straight into the open chest. The tentacles started writhing, the chest heaving, until…
"Achoo!"
Min was thrown to the other side of the room as the Mimic sneezed.
Success, she was free! For the moment, the tentacles soon recomposed themselves and approached Min once more.
In a dash, Min opened all the shelves she could see to search for anything to help her fight against the creature. She found a stash of colorful potions that looked just like the ones the alchemist had on her belt the day she met her.
"Eeep!" A tentacle had coiled itself around her ankle. No time to think, Min grabbed all the vials and tossed them into the chest. Rainbow smoke emanated from within. A giant slime soon erupted from within, trapping and immobilizing the Mimic.
"Yes!" Min pumped her fist in celebration. "Second victory for Min! Who's a bona fide adventurer? This gal!" the townsfolk watching from the window clapped for her, and some whistled. "Thank you, thank you!" She took a bow…only to remember that she still was flashing them all.
"Ack! Hopefully the alchemist has a couple of spare robes I can borrow." Min tried to get away from the dining room but couldn't. The mimic's last tentacle was still latched to her knee, sticking out of the slime and preventing her from moving away.
"There is always one more thing... Err, a little help, please?" Min shyly asked the crowd, tucking her hands around over her intimates.
"Let's call the town's watch," an elderly man proposed, as no one was eager to approach the house of horrors.
Celeria tackled the alchemist into a bush, her backpack falling from her shoulders and spilling all her golden coins into the ground. Peonie grabbed one such trinket and gave it a bite.
"Copper. This is counterfeit, just like the Count suspected."
"Stash secured and alchemist captured. Let's turn her in."
"Please don't! I didn't want to break the law, but I h-had no other choice. The ignorant city council banned my potions! Said they were dangerous! How can I make a living if I can't sell my products?"
"You could have moved anywhere else and started selling there. That's not an excuse. Back to the stocks with you."
"Y-you think the Count's going to throw me into the stocks?! That cruel man is more likely to put my head on a pike! Haven't you heard the stories of what happened to his late wife?"
"Eh, I'm sure they are just rumors. The man seems like he cares a lot about his family. Now less talking, more marching."
"Wait, Celeria. The Count only wanted to stop the counterfeit coins. He didn't say anything about bringing in the alchemist. If we return the stash, he probably won't care if we say she escaped the County," Peonie suggested.
"By the Sisters Heavenly Ass. Are you serious, Peonie? You want to let her go after hearing that sorry excuse of a sob story?"
"She didn't hurt anyone."
"Are you ignoring the part where she tried to kill us?!"
"I didn't try to kill you! Just injure you! Maim at worst."
"She is just a victim of circumstance! We could be in the same boat if the duchy bans adventuring."
"Or we could change careers. What are YOU even complaining about? You can just go back to the Court."
"You have a map?" Peonie ignored Celeria to grab a map from the alchemist. "Here, why don't you go to the city of Vineisse? I have a friend who has a magical shop there. Tell her I sent you and you can sell your merchandise legally. Let me write the way there for you."
Celeria watched her friend doodle on the map, raising an eyebrow. "Why are you helping me?" the alchemist asked, also wary of Peonie's supposed kindness.
"I'm sure the Count isn't as bad as you think, but if he is, I can't let you walk to your death, can I?" Peonie handed back the map. "Think nothing of it. Just follow my directions, and you'll be selling your potions again in no time!"
"…thanks a million! If I see you again, I'll sell you any potions at half the price." The alchemist scrambled away, leaving her stash of counterfeit coins in the care of the two adventurers.
"Wow, didn't know you could be vindictive," Celeria commented. "What happened to helping the oh-so-poor alchemist find a way to sell her wares?"
"What do you mean? I just showed her the way to Vineisse."
"Right, and the fact that your route includes a stop in the elven village is pure coincidence, right?"
"Eh, she'll be fine. It's not like the elves will mistreat her. We can't let her go completely scot-free after all. She could use the time there to reflect on her actions and how she could have gotten someone hurt."
"Right, someone like us."
"Let's go get this back to the Count. Don't forget that you still owe him an apology."
"Argh, fiiiine, but I feel like we are forgetting something."
"…"
"…"
"Wait, we have to go back and check on Min!"
"Eh, she is probably fine. She may look weak, but I feel like she has the heart of a seasoned adventurer. She probably already slew the Mimic and looted the house. I'll be surprised if she even waited for us…"
"Still! We should check on her to make sure nothing bad happened!"
"OK, lead the way. I'm not exactly itching to go apologize to the Count's brat. "
The two adventurers turned back towards the city. The sun was rising over the hills, the sky turning red.
"Oh, by the way, Peonie. Your little leaf corset... it blew away in the chase."
"Huh?" Peonie looked down, she could see her brown nipples plain as day. Only a little rope and a sunflower remained tied around them. "Ahh!"
"Look, it's the alchemist's naked accomplice!" a spindly guard called out, pointing his spear at Min. "You are under arrest!"
"Accomplice? I just fought her mimic! If anything, I'm more like her enemy," Min replied. She was sitting on the ground, hugging her knees and waiting for help. All her attempts to cut or even gnaw at the vine had failed. It was like the tentacle was made of actual wood. Who knew?
"I don't know. This seems like a trick to me," replied a stout militiaman.
"Ask the people outside if you don't believe me. I got tossed around and displayed on the windows like a freshly baked pie! No one would anyone agree to do all that for show!"
"Hmmm, maybe she has a point?"
"Reckon we let her go, then?"
"No," a cold voice replied. A tall woman entered the home, dragging behind a heavy war axe that scrapped the stone floor.
The fearsome warrior wore metal armor from head to toe. Her steel helmet had antler-like horns. Her chest plate covered with a white cloth that had a black rose embroiled on it. A small grey cape flew from her shoulders.
The two guards straightened up. "D-don't worry Lady, Ma'am, Sir! We have the situation under control!"
"Yeah, area secured."
The scary woman grunted.
"The streets turned to hot coal, a garden was frozen over, and no less than two giant slimes terrorized the population this week. This town is a mess, and you are letting one of the prime suspects walk free because she asked politely?"
The woman raised the weapon above her head, and Min closed her eyes, her heart paralyzed out of fear. The knight brought down the full weight of her axe into the slime, the mighty weapon cleaving the mass as if it was butter and cutting the Mimic in two. The acid substance didn't even dent it.
"The Order of the Wilted Rose will take care of this now. You two are dismissed."
"B-but-"
"If you have any problems with my Order, please raise it with your Count. I'm sure he will be happy to know that you questioned our authority."
"E-err, no ma'am. S-sorry!" the two guards apologized to Min as they sheepishly left the house.
"W-wait!" Min cried out. "D-don't leave me alone with her!"
"As for you…" The knight raised her axe once more. Min recoiled as the sharp blade descended toward her. Luckily, the knight aimed at the vine next to her ankle. It was cut in two, along with a good chunk of the floor.
"Consider yourself under arrest. You are coming with me."