Is this reason enough to prepare a '******'?
Are you telling me that you plan to do this to me as well if necessary? In that case, please do it quickly; that'd be easier to bear.
The morning of March 3rd. At a rainy crossroads with poor visibility.
I have thrown aside my umbrella and look at the '******'. Nothing else really registers. The truck that has crashed into the wall and Otonashi-san, who is just standing there, neither is being processed by my brain. A red liquid is flowing continuously; there's so much of it that the rain can't even wash it away.
A cor***, missing half of its head, whose bra** have splashed everywhere. ***pse. Corpse. Corpse. CORpse. CorpseCorpseCORPSE. corPSE. CorpsecorpseCORPSE. Corpse. Corpse. Corpse!
Haruaki's 'Corpse'.
"—ah"
Once I finally recognize the thing before my eyes, I start to vomit.
I look at Aya Otonashi. She is staring expressionlessly at me.
"...Haruaki"
But don't worry, Haruaki!
You know, this will be undone anyway.
This will be conveniently declared 'void'.
...Oh? Could it be…
Could this be the reason I wished for the Rejecting Classroom…? Because I'm rejecting a situation like this?
a not-so-subtle reference to a folk remedy that involves the use of leeks (well, technically, spring onions) as a suppository in order to cure colds.
2,602nd time[]
"I'm Aya Otonashi."
"—ah"
Right at that instant, a crimson image flashes through my mind. It's an image that has been buried in the depths of my memories, although I saw it for a moment just now.
And as if my brain were connected to that image by a thread, the rest of my recollections of the 2,601st school transfer are also drawn into my consciousness.
I have to praise myself for not screaming out loud.
"Mh? What's wrong Hoshii? You look really ill, are you ok?"
Haruaki, who is sitting beside me, is worried about me.
Haruaki, who should have been run over by a truck, smiles at me.
An inevitable unease. Nausea. A giant flood of information completely overwhelms me, as if I am its prey and just got totally consumed. My mind can't keep up with the information overload and gets severely stressed.
Last iteration's memories just got connected with my current memories.
The connection is so lively and clear—
"But really, Aya-chan is too cute. I'll confess my love to her."
—because of Haruaki's corpse.
And now he falls in love at first sight with Aya Otonashi once more, although she made him suffer so horribly.
I look at Otonashi-san and our eyes meet. She is glaring at me. With a daring grin, she is glaring at me.
…was making him into a corpse supposed to coerce me into handing over my box?
If so, her plan is way too effective. Threatening me by showing me a corpse, implying that "I'll kill you"…And by using the corpse of my friend, she also corners me with guilt. I realize that in theory none of this is my fault; it's all Otonashi-san's doing. But confronted by an actual corpse, theory gets blown away and instinct takes over—my spirit is easily broken.
If I could, I would give her the box right away. But fortunately, I just don't know how.
…fortunately? That's not right. I mean, since this attack is so effective, Otonashi-san will definitely continue.
Until she breaks my spirit.
Otonashi-san descends from the platform and approaches me.
She stands right beside me.
Staring straight ahead without looking at me, she murmurs:
"Looks like you remember."
✵
If things continue like this I'm going to break.
I played dumb and ran away from Otonashi-san, even though I know it's useless.
I somehow have to come up with a counter-measure while avoiding her.
That's why—
"Have you told me everything, Kazu?"
—I consulted the most intelligent person I know, Daiya Oomine.
Daiya leans against the corridor wall and is obviously in a bad mood—probably because my explanation used up the entire break between first and second period.
"So? What do you want from me after telling me about this novel idea?"
I bluntly unloaded the entire story, including the stuff I learned from Otonashi-san, without omitting a single detail. Still, it is what it is—I didn't expect a realist like Daiya to believe my tale, so I turned it into the scenario of a novel.
"I was wondering what the protagonist of this story should do."
"If we think broadly about his options, he's probably supposed to oppose that 'transfer student.'"
Naturally, I'm the protagonist and Otonashi-san is the transfer student in this scenario.
Since I adopted the story as is, Daiya noticed that the transfer student is 'Aya Otonashi'. But he just smiled wryly and said, "so she was the model." He appears confident that our discussion is purely hypothetical.
"But…I don't think the protagonist can compete against the transfer student."
"I guess that's true at the present time."
The opponent is Aya Otonashi. A person that goes so far as to transfer 2,602 times and even produces corpses in order to obtain the box. I don't think that I have any chance of beating her.
"But it's possible for the protagonist to obtain power at a later point that matches the transfer student's," Daiya says carelessly.
"Eh—?"
Of course I consulted with Daiya in order to find a solution. But I did so with low expectations, like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Honestly, I didn't expect that he would come up with anything.
"What's with that reaction? Well then, tell me, what makes the transfer student superior to the protagonist?"
"Eh? Well—"
"Aah, no, you'd better not answer. You'd just piss me off with some totally stupid answer."
…I'm allowed to get angry, right?
"The difference between the protagonist and the transfer student is a difference of information. The transfer student can use this difference to manipulate the protagonist like a puppet. It's simple. All she needs to do is control the flow of information and only give the protagonist info that helps her out."
That's…right. Otonashi-san can toy with me at her leisure as soon as I forget about what's going on.
"On the other hand, if he narrows the gap between their levels of information—the main reason he can't compete with her—it could somehow work out for him. So he just needs to get rid of that handicap."
"…but that's impossible!"
Daiya smirks at my murmured response.
"Say, you told me that the protagonist might regain the memories of the previous iteration."
"Yeah."
"So next iteration, if he takes over his memories from the current iteration, because his current incarnation regained the memories of the previous iteration, he'll be able to take over the memories of the iteration before last. Right?"
"...well, I guess so."
"So if he takes over the memories of the prior iteration, he can also take over the memories of two times prior. If he takes over the memories of two times prior, he can also take over the memories of three times prior."
"…so—? The transfer student is also able to build up information during this time. The gap can't be filled up. Otonashi-sa— the transfer student already has the memories of more than 2,601 repetitions, you know? What's going to change for the protagonist if he obtains the memories of two, three times—"
"Repeat this process 100,000 times."
"…eh?"
"There's no way to deal with the imbalance of the 2,601 times already past. So we just make those 2,601 times irrelevant. The informational difference between 102,601 times and 100,000 times is only 2% or so if we use simple arithmetic. You can't call that a gap anymore. If the protagonist repeats the process that many times, he obtains the means to oppose the transfer student. Then he has to take advantage of the information he's gained and the transfer student's exhaustion to weaken her, frustrate her and make her forget her memories of the previous iterations."
"I'm—"
I'm supposed to do such a thing?
"...but he doesn't know how to retain his memories to begin with."
Right. I was able to recover my memories this time around, but only by chance.
"You said that the shock of seeing a corpse made the protagonist regain his memories, right?"
"That's what I assume…I guess."
I can't think of another reason and my gut tells me that's correct.
I was able to regain my memories because I happened to see Haruaki's corpse.
"Then it's simple," Daiya carelessly states.
"The protagonist just needs to produce corpses."
"—what the!"
I naturally become speechless.
"S-Such an act—"
"Well, listen. I guess it's certainly unreasonable to kill someone. Such an unethical protagonist would just disgust the reader. More generally speaking, the protagonist has to prepare something with the same impact as seeing a corpse."
"…that could certainly…work."
"In other words the protagonist just needs to be more tenacious in pursuing the box than the transfer student."
The bell rings. Daiya considers our talk complete and turns around.
"I'll return to the classroom. You should come quickly too, Kazu!"
"Yeah…"
But I don't feel like returning to the classroom right away and stay put instead. Daiya walks away without paying any attention to me.
I sigh.
"…there definitely might be a way for me to retain my memories. But—"
—hanging on for 100,000 times? It may be possible in theory but there's no way I could pull it off for real. There's no way a human being could bear that. It's like an inventor told me to drive a car with a top speed of 20,000km/h. Even if the car can go that fast, my body would be unable to handle the burden and end up breaking down. My mind, no, the human mind isn't capable of enduring 100,000 repetitions of the same day.
If Otonashi-san is really able to bear it, she's a special case. Please don't include me in the same category as such a monster.
But is this the only way to oppose Otonashi-san? Should I even oppose her? Wouldn't it be better for both of us if I just raised the white flag?
I let out another sigh since I can't even decide on such a simple thing.
When I look up, deciding to return to the classroom for now…
"—ah"
Haruaki pops out from behind a pillar, causing me to reflexively raise my voice.
"...Haruaki."
Did he hear our conversation? No, his face looks too serious. After all, we were only talking about a 'fictional story.' Theoretically speaking, of course.
He starts to freely plead his case. "Frankly, since I'm your friend, I get jealous when you have fun with others and leave me out, so I think it's completely fine for me to hide and eavesdrop on you. That's forgiven and forgotten."
Despite his joking tone, his expression stays serious throughout.
"Well then, Hoshii—"
Haruaki scratches his head and asks.
"—wanna try killing me?"
My breathing stops.
I have no idea what made him say these absolutely stunning words.
Haruaki observes my bewildered state for a while. I'm not even able to blink. He suddenly smiles complacently and, apparently unable to bear it any longer, bursts into laughter.
"Ah, don't tell me!—That's cruel, Haruaki! Don't tease me!"
"Ahaha! No, no, I'd never have guessed that your reaction would be that serious…!! Terrific! Hoshii, you're just too funny! Naturally I'm just joking, just joking!"
Well, that makes sense. There's no one who would believe that such a recurrence could actually take place.
"Right…A joke…of course it's just a joke."
"Of course. Naturally it's a joke—something like letting me get killed."
Something rings oddly in his last statement.
"—Haruaki?"
"—So? How can I assist you?"
Assist? What's Haruaki talking about?
Haruaki is serious and earnest once more as he continues speaking.
"Well, since my memories will be lost in the next world anyway, I guess what I can do now is limited."
Aah, I see—
Haruaki believes in the Rejecting Classroom.
He believes the story that anyone else would assume was made-up.
"...Haruaki."
"What's wrong, Hoshii?"
"Err…that was just a fictional scenario I made up, you know?"
Haruaki laughs and says in a matter-of-fact manner:
"That's a lie, isn't it?"
"Wha—"
I can't even begin to ask how he figured that out.
I mean, even I couldn't believe such a nonsensical story if someone begged me to.
"Wahaha! Are you impressed by the depth of my friendship? It makes me swallow even such a ridiculous story without hesitation!"
"Yeah."
Haruaki seems to be taken aback when I nod in response.
"N-No…don't answer so plainly! You'll make me blush!"
He bashfully scratches his nose.
"Just so you're aware, Daiya also believes that this is actually happening, you know?"
"Eh?…no, I don't think so. I mean, we're talking about Daiya the ultimate realist, remember?"
However, now that Haruaki mentions it, Daiya might have been acting a bit odd. After all, he chose a special place for our talk and sacrificed his break time. If he really thought this was just a scenario from a novel, he would have chased me away with a brief comment like "Boring. Don't write it."
"Okay, I guess he didn't buy your story 100%, but trust me—he knows that the truth isn't too far off!"
Come to think of it, Daiya's comments were a bit off the mark if they were intended as a critique of a novel. He clearly chose the answers that the protagonist character would actually want.
"There's a flaw in your story to begin with, Hoshii. Aya-chan, who clearly represents the transfer student, just arrived today, you know? You talked to Daiya during the break after first period. You didn't have enough time to come up with all of this!"
"Ah—"
That sure is true.
"I think you're telling the truth, and you're not deluded."
"…why?"
"It's a bit too well put together to be your delusion, isn't it? There's no way you'd have such a vivid imagination, Hoshii."
"How rude…"
"Well, even if you were a bit more brilliant and could come up with something like this in such a short time; I'd still believe you."
"…why?"
"Because we're friends, aren't we?"
Uwa, what is that guy saying…
I mean, how should I…keep from blushing and react if he speaks to me like this?
✵
Haruaki frowns and stuffs a French fry into his mouth.
"I see. So Aya-chan…no, Aya Otonashi might have killed me…"
We ended up going to McDonald's, per Haruaki's suggestion. We're a pair of students in school uniforms who left school early by feigning illness, hanging out at McDonald's in broad daylight. I can't help but notice the judgmental glances of the people around us and feel the urge to flee.
"I wonder if Otonashi-san would care if she were at McDonald's in her school uniform during school hours."
"Well, I guess in Aya Otonashi's case, she wouldn't."
Haruaki now knows that he might have been killed by the girl he fell in love with at first sight, so he spits out her name with hostility.
"In other words, she's adapted to this situation over the course of more than 2,000 iterations."
Otonashi-san has become accustomed to everything being declared 'void' after each iteration. She definitely wouldn't get upset by each and every little thing within the Rejecting Classroom anymore.
Otonashi-san has adapted to an abnormal situation. Can you really say that her personality's still normal, this Otonashi-san who is trying to kill me?
"Was this supposed to be an escape attempt?"
My heart stops.
Suddenly hearing the voice of the person I was just thinking about… I cannot turn around to face the speaker behind me. I'm cemented in place.
How did she find us? I didn't even tell Daiya.
Otonashi-san walks around and stops in front of me. I am still unable to raise my head.
"Let me tell you something, Hoshino," she says with a grin on her face. "This is my 2,602nd March 2nd. I've spent this time with classmates who haven't changed a bit since they don't retain any memories and aren't aware of these time loops."
She quietly rests her hand on the table. That alone causes my body to stiffen up.
"Normally, people change, and so do their beliefs. Thus it's not at all easy to predict their actions. However, it's ridiculously easy to grasp your actions because you guys are trapped in a deadlock and can't change. It's even easier since it's the same March 2nd. I even grasped the pattern of your conversations. Hoshino, I can easily predict the range of actions a passive high school student like you would take."
I'm having a firsthand experience with the 'information difference' that Daiya mentioned. I vaguely thought that he was just talking about information involving the Rejecting Classroom or the box. But it's not just that. The most crucial information is related to 'Kazuki Hoshino'—myself. And the information I need to obtain is related to 'Aya Otonashi'. That's what Daiya meant from the start. That's why he said that the gap in our information would narrow after more recurrences.
"Got it? You can't escape from me, Hoshino. You're completely within my grasp. I could easily crush you. But if I do so, I'll also crush the important object you're holding. That's the only reason you're alive. Got it? So you'd better not anger me."
Otonashi-san seizes my hand.
"Be quiet and follow me. And then quietly obey me."
She isn't gripping my hand tightly. If I try, I should be able to shake her off. But…can I do that?…no way. I've already been taken over by Aya Otonashi. I'm aware that I'm miserable. But I just can't…defy her. I don't know how.
And despite that—despite my having no means to defy her—my hand is freed from Otonashi-san's grasp.
"What are you doing," Otonashi-san says. I wasn't able to shake her off. So her hostile words aren't directed at me.
"What am I doing, you ask?…ha!"
Her words are directed at Haruaki, who has pulled our hands apart.
"I won't hand Hoshii over to you! Can't you even get such a simple thing straight? Are you an idiot?"
Haruaki's words are childish, but his face has become stiff. It's a complete bluff. He normally never treats people like this.
Naturally, Otonashi-san doesn't fall for his provocation.
"That's not what I'm asking. Usui, it appears that you're the one who isn't using his brain. Your actions are futile. Meaningless. It seems you decided to save Hoshino, but that is merely a momentary fragile dream that's about to disappear. Next time around, you will have lost this determination and come running back to me once more, confessing to me instead of fighting against me."
Haruaki falters completely upon hearing these words. He knows that she's right. If the world resets again, Haruaki will forget our conversations during this iteration. However hostile he may be towards her right now, he's going to fall for her at first sight again, and he's going to confess to her again. Haruaki's hopelessly deadlocked.
But even though he is confronted with such a harsh and inescapable truth, Haruaki clenches his fist.
"No, you're still the one who's not using your brain, Otonashi! I might really return to my 'unaware self' each time! I guess I won't be able to keep my memories and I'm not as bright as Daiya. But you know what? I have strong faith in myself."
"I don't understand. What are you trying to say?"
"Say, Otonashi. I'm definitely at a standstill and won't change, right?"
"Yeah, that's why you're powerless."
"Ha! It's the other way around, Otonashi! If I'm not going to change, I can vouch for the me in future iterations. After all, they will be the exact same person as I am now. I can predict their behavior without fail! Those selves are going to believe Hoshii every time he explains the situation, and they will help him every time as well. There's no world in which I'll abandon my friend Hoshii. Listen and remember this well, Otonashi—"
He points at Otonashi-san.
"—If you make Kazuki Hoshino your enemy, you will also pick a fight with an immortal!"
To be honest, his posture is anything but firm. He's under pressure, he's bluffing and his hands are even trembling. He's obviously anxious. Cool words suit him so poorly, it's not even funny—especially since he's usually clowning around in front of everyone.
But his words have definitely warmed my heart.
I mean, there's not the slightest bit of doubt in his voice. There's none of his usual exaggerated dramatic tone, either. Haruaki is speaking in a completely matter of fact manner.
"——"
Of course Otonashi-san isn't flustered at all by his unsteady posturing. But she also doesn't immediately object. She closes her mouth for a few seconds, displeased.
"…You're making me sound like the bad guy. Aren't you aware that Kazuki Hoshino is the one who dragged you into this Rejecting Classroom?"
Otonashi-san's words are precise and sharp. Haruaki takes damage from each one, but still—
"I won't doubt my ally because of that!"
Haruaki doesn't change his opinion. He refuses to avert his gaze from Otonashi-san even though he is terrified.
This isn't good. I mean, the opponent is Aya Otonashi! She isn't the one who'll suffer when Haruaki declares her an eternal enemy. Haruaki's the one who'll be in pain. The girl he'll fall in love with over and over again is going to treat him with hostility for no obvious reason. From now on, Haruaki is going to suffer in each and every iteration.
In contrast, she definitely won't feel any stress due to Haruaki's opposition.
However:
"I've lost my interest."
Otonashi-san is the one who averts her gaze first and turns away.
"All of your actions will become meaningless anyway when the next iteration begins."
She spits out these words and leaves.
If anyone but Otonashi-san had said something like that, it might have sounded a little like sour grapes. But coming from her, it doesn't sound like that at all. In the first place, how could Otonashi-san lose to him when she doesn't care about him anyway?
Thus, she simply voiced her thoughts. She came to the conclusion that it would be more convenient to deal with me in a more advantageous situation in the future.
Otonashi-san doesn't feel anything for us. Of course she doesn't fear us, but she isn't angry at us and doesn't scorn us either.
So I wonder—why?
No, it's just my imagination. A wrong guess. An extreme misunderstanding. But even so, really, honestly, just for an instant—
Didn't she look just a bit—down?
"Say…Hoshii,"
Haruaki is still staring at the automatic door that Otonashi-san just walked through.
"Do you think I'm going to be killed?"
No way…is almost how I respond. But I realize what happened last time could easily happen again, so I stay silent.